Citation: Cathole. "The Meaning of Life: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (5x extract) (exp78369)". Erowid.org. Mar 23, 2020. erowid.org/exp/78369
I had smoked regular leaves before and they gave me a euphoric state of mind followed by a calmness and a solemn reflectiveness, which I found to be quite pleasant. I decided to smoke a very small pinch of 5x, enough for one good toke.
I packed a tobacco pipe or as I call it a Grandpa's pipe, with a small inch and held the flame over it as i inhaled deeply. the last thing I remember of this world was saying to my trip sitter, 'this is surprisingly smooth'. Then everything was black and I was alone. This was the meaning of life, a joke. I heard a deep man's voice speak to me. He said, 'I am the overseer, and this is the universe, your life was nothing.' Just then a book opened before me and on the pages were days from my life, all of my memories, my childhood, my wife, my mother, my father, my siblings, my life. The pages started to turn extremely fast and in their wake left a mosaic of the images of those I cared about. And that's when I realized that life was over. My life was but a thought in the Overseer's grand plan. I feeling a terror came over me quickly. All that I had ever known and loved was not real, I was not real, this was the joke that the Overseer was playing on me.
All that I had ever known and loved was not real, I was not real, this was the joke that the Overseer was playing on me.
The pages would slow down and the pictures would become clear, I would then begin to relive past moments from my life, only to have the pages speed back up on me, as if the Overseer was laughing at me. This happened three more times, life would return and then be taken from me so quickly. I was so terrified.
Then all of the violent things I have seen as a combat medic with 27 months spent in combat came rushing in. Then the Overseer did something compassionate. He said their is no violence here, and those pictures vanished. He then showed me a picture of my mother, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes, she was disappointed at my choice to use drugs, reality started coming back to me, the pages were slowing down again. I could see the image of my sitter coming together like a puzzle before my eyes. I said ,'I am sorry, I will flush them, drugs are bad.' But I still thought all of this was not real anymore, I placed my hand over the ash tray and said this is not real, the meaning of life is nothing, drugs are bad, I am going to end this now.' I then kicked over my coffee table. But, Salvia's grip started pulling me back, I wanted to sleep this trip off, I wanted it to end, The Overseer had sent me back to this world to end all drug use, and not take my family and friends for granted. I did not want to sleep though, I was afraid I wouldn't wake up. I no longer had a grasp of what was real. I then got up and flushed 1/2 OZ of leaves, 1g of 5x, 1g of 10x, and 1g of 20x down the toilet. I swore off drugs, and said I would never do them again. Then I gradually started coming back down, and began to regret flushing my Herb, oh well.
Overall, it was the most terrifying experience of my life, and that is saying alot onsidering I suffer from PTSD from my time spent in combat. But it was very insightful, it was a spiritual journey into myself, and I did find out the meaning to life. The meaning is to explore yourself and admit your flaws, do not take your loved ones for granted, and enjoy them, because when you die all is taken from you and your book is closed forever.
I have since ordered 1 OZ of leaves, and am hoping to enjoy Salvia again, I am just never gonna fuck with the extracts again, cause that shit is scary.
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