DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

I haven't taken MDMA since 1999. It was about my fifth or sixth time. I always enjoyed the experience once it started, but it always started in such a way as it felt exacly the same as the panic attacks I'm prone to. After the last use of MDMA I had mild depression for weeks afterward. I always wanted to go and take the drug to make the feelings go away, but knew it would be pointless as it would only last a few hours. Anyway, the feelings of hangover (I would get really achey due to usually dancing four or five hours straight), tired, and headachey. These feelings seemed to get worse after each time I did the drug, and by 1999 the bad outweighed the good and there was no reason to go on with it. Also, I was afraid that since I do have a bit of an addictive personality, which so far has only manifested itself in the over-consumption of food, I was worried about chronically chasing after a feeling.

But I am happy I did it. Each time I came to terms with issues in my life, made realizations, forgave people who wronged me, and just generally had the opportunity to feel calm and happy for a few hours. And I must mention I'm so shy it is literally a handicap in my life, so the only time I've ever danced in front of anyone since I was in early grade school was when I was on Ecstacy. I was also naked, but it was alright. I was only with my husband.

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 7919
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 12, 2001	Views: 2,595
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MDMA (3) : Unknown Context (20), Loss of Magic (34), Depression (15), Retrospective / Summary (11)