After I Had My Son, I Did Get High Again
Methamphetamine
Citation:   SaintNoodle. "After I Had My Son, I Did Get High Again: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp79899)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2020. erowid.org/exp/79899

 
DOSE:
  repeated insufflated Methamphetamine (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 90 lb
The first time I ever tried Meth, (I was 16) it was in the parking lot of a softball field my grandpa used to take me to. I remember the day. It was a beautiful clear summer night, and I had just got off work. A guy I used to work with a guy that had gotten the Meth for me and another guy I worked with. Man do I remember the burn. When I snort Meth, it burns so bad. It burns going up my nose, and down my throat, and then I get this drainage. It's not like the drainage I get when I do coke....with coke, it numbs my throat and nose....and if I get the good stuff, it numbs my face too. With Meth, it burns, and it tastes like shit.

At least that's what I thought the first time. It got to the point to where I loved the taste. I didn't want to wake up in the morning without it.
I didn't want to wake up in the morning without it.
I thought that I would only be able to do Meth every once in a while, but I didn't realize just how addicting it was, or how easy it was to get where I live. It started as a every once in a while weekend thing....well....it didn't take long for it to escalate into an every day habit. I went from someone who went to school and worked, to a freaking drop out and jobless. By the time I was 17 I was moving about every 3 months....if not sooner. When I realized that I was about to be 18, I tried to sober up and graduate, but I barely made it. Once I was 18, I didn't have to listen to anyone, and I could do what I wanted when I wanted because I was an adult. All I wanted to do was get high. I ended up getting a job for a little bit after I graduated, but I was paranoid when I was working that everyone knew I was high, and when I didn't go to work it was because I was sick. That job only lasted 3 months. I ended up working for the people I was staying with at the time, who were also addicts, cleaning movie theaters at night, which was a great job for me at the time, because I could go to work at night, and sleep all day. Hell, my boss did Meth, so I could go to work after being up for a couple days, to a week, and I wouldn't have to be paranoid about anything.

When I would first get high, I would talk a lot. After being up a night, I would be ok....to where if I was around people, I would still talk, but not as much as when I first got high, and my whole attitude about being around people would decline as my use progressed without sleep. After being up for 3 days I would start to see things and hear things. I would see what I would describe as 'Shadow People'. They were people that would not look like anything at all, but they would be shadows that looked like people that would try to get me. One time they were jumping on my bed trying to get me...another time there were just around the corner peeking at me trying to get me. I would also have conversations with people during the day that were not there. So, imagine, during the day I are talking to people who are not even there, and at night I are hiding from things that do not exist. Most people get arrested, who end up going to prison, and lucky people who get arrested go to court ordered Rehab.....which sometimes works, but once those people get out, they could possibly seek out people that they know still get high, and fall into a nasty cycle of jail, rehab, and then prison.

Some people even try to move to another city to escape their problems.....I have tried that, and it does not work...I have even tried moving to another state. What saved me was getting pregnant. I have seen other women that were pregnant, but continued to still get high. I stopped when I found out I was pregnant.
I stopped when I found out I was pregnant.
After I had my son, I did get high again. I ended up staying awake for 2 days and thinking that my son was crying when he was not. Thank God he was on vacation at the time.

This drug is bad. I have snorted it, smoked it, and injected it. It's not fun. I ended up as an empty shell of a person that thinks they have to rely on something man made to make them able to function. r

Exp Year: 2002-2008ExpID: 79899
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jan 16, 2020Views: 1,341
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Methamphetamine (37) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Pregnancy / Baby (33), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)

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