Citation: Kwankung. "True Awakening: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (extract) (exp81100)". Erowid.org. Dec 29, 2017. erowid.org/exp/81100
This was a weekend session with our shaman. He started us off light with a San Pedro tea at 6pm on Friday night, this was followed by some San Pedro alkaloid extracts and more tea. During the whole time we partook in chanting an meditation. So the session was designed with work in mind, and not a tripping party. The group of people involved all had the intention of improving or educating themselves thru the sacred plants. The San Pedro experience is a different matter entirely but I’m mentioning it, because it ensured I was clean and prepared for the salvia... or so I hoped.
At about 3am the salvia question was raised, and I volunteered first. This was not going to be my first salvia, I have taken it under the supervision of this very shaman about 8 years ago. Then a few times I dabbled in smoking a few leaves, but nothing prepared me for this.
Once in position, on the blanket on the ground, he put the pipe in my mouth and lit it, I had 2 deep tokes (of 10x base with 40x topping). I don’t even remember lying back. It was shocking, as if I was just awakened from a dream, my whole life, the people, my wife, my experiences, my pains, my worries and stresses... were all a dream. I was being pulled away from it all... dying. That was the shock, I was struggling to accept it. As I was falling down the endless fractal on its edge “reality” was visible. On the other side, there were beings waiting for me to wake up. I had a vision of an open expanse of water with a floating island and some ships in its dock. The fractal was back, I could hear voices, couldn’t make them out. I know now that there was 3 people assisting me, the shaman and 2 friends. They were holding me down during my struggle as I was putting up a fight on this side of the membrane.
I was trying hard to not wake up (that feeling when you're waking up, but want to hold on to a dream), I didn’t realise how much I wanted to live in this dream till I was being woken up. “Tranquilo, tranquilo” was the shaman's voice echoing in my fractal, he was trying to calm me down, I was fighting the awakening. I was folded out from the inside and was on the edge of reality looking back at this dream, thinking that I need to disconnect this discomfort, this pain that is holding on to me. I let out a scream (physical one on the dream side of my reality), it was as if to let my last sound out before I depart, my being was trying to grasp onto pieces of the dream to hold on.
The shamans voice was coming thru the fractal again, a little closer now, he was almost reprimanding me for fighting it, that I wanted this so I must take it, and now I’m fighting it. I was still unaware of the fact that I had just smoked salvia. Then the girl that was assisting told me that I had just smoked salvia, I relaxed a bit, and closed my eyes to try gather what the plant has to say to me. It was wearing off, and I really wanted to get up and away from that spot of angst.
I picked my head up slowly. A woman sang a chant to me to calm me down, I had tears rolling down my face, I looked around at the members of the group staring at the first volunteer of the salvia... me. I was feeling a bit embarrassed about my fear and scream, still heavy with the effect I managed to get to my feet, and wandered off to be alone and contemplate. While I was walking off I watched the next member go under... she didn’t struggle. Later that day we had ayahuaska... to help integrate the experiences.
I will definitely be doing this again, I want to know more. Unlike some people, I don’t believe that what happened to me and what I saw was a hallucination, that implies it wasn’t real. We live in a universe where 90% of it is undetected and invisible to science, I believe that the effects of psychedelics put one into the plane of being able to interact and detect this undetected part of our universe, and there is a lot of it there, and it's real.
This plant has some serious applications, my journey may have been overwhelming, but it's what I came for so it's what I got. I am going to apply it to fix a few things about myself.
I wish you all good luck on your journeys and may your goals be achieved thru teacher plants.
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