True Awakening
Salvia divinorum (extract)
Citation: Kwankung. "True Awakening: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (extract) (exp81100)". Erowid.org. Dec 29, 2017. erowid.org/exp/81100
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
oral | Cacti - T. pachanoi | (tea) | |
T+ 9:00 | 2 hits | smoked | Salvia divinorum | (tea) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 90 kg |
At about 3am the salvia question was raised, and I volunteered first. This was not going to be my first salvia, I have taken it under the supervision of this very shaman about 8 years ago. Then a few times I dabbled in smoking a few leaves, but nothing prepared me for this.
Once in position, on the blanket on the ground, he put the pipe in my mouth and lit it, I had 2 deep tokes (of 10x base with 40x topping). I don’t even remember lying back. It was shocking, as if I was just awakened from a dream, my whole life, the people, my wife, my experiences, my pains, my worries and stresses... were all a dream. I was being pulled away from it all... dying. That was the shock, I was struggling to accept it. As I was falling down the endless fractal on its edge “reality” was visible. On the other side, there were beings waiting for me to wake up. I had a vision of an open expanse of water with a floating island and some ships in its dock. The fractal was back, I could hear voices, couldn’t make them out. I know now that there was 3 people assisting me, the shaman and 2 friends. They were holding me down during my struggle as I was putting up a fight on this side of the membrane.
I was trying hard to not wake up (that feeling when you're waking up, but want to hold on to a dream), I didn’t realise how much I wanted to live in this dream till I was being woken up. “Tranquilo, tranquilo” was the shaman's voice echoing in my fractal, he was trying to calm me down, I was fighting the awakening. I was folded out from the inside and was on the edge of reality looking back at this dream, thinking that I need to disconnect this discomfort, this pain that is holding on to me. I let out a scream (physical one on the dream side of my reality), it was as if to let my last sound out before I depart, my being was trying to grasp onto pieces of the dream to hold on.
The shamans voice was coming thru the fractal again, a little closer now, he was almost reprimanding me for fighting it, that I wanted this so I must take it, and now I’m fighting it. I was still unaware of the fact that I had just smoked salvia. Then the girl that was assisting told me that I had just smoked salvia, I relaxed a bit, and closed my eyes to try gather what the plant has to say to me. It was wearing off, and I really wanted to get up and away from that spot of angst.
I picked my head up slowly. A woman sang a chant to me to calm me down, I had tears rolling down my face, I looked around at the members of the group staring at the first volunteer of the salvia... me. I was feeling a bit embarrassed about my fear and scream, still heavy with the effect I managed to get to my feet, and wandered off to be alone and contemplate. While I was walking off I watched the next member go under... she didn’t struggle. Later that day we had ayahuaska... to help integrate the experiences.
I will definitely be doing this again, I want to know more. Unlike some people, I don’t believe that what happened to me and what I saw was a hallucination, that implies it wasn’t real. We live in a universe where 90% of it is undetected and invisible to science, I believe that the effects of psychedelics put one into the plane of being able to interact and detect this undetected part of our universe, and there is a lot of it there, and it's real.
This plant has some serious applications, my journey may have been overwhelming, but it's what I came for so it's what I got. I am going to apply it to fix a few things about myself.
I wish you all good luck on your journeys and may your goals be achieved thru teacher plants.
Exp Year: 2009 | ExpID: 81100 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 34 | |
Published: Dec 29, 2017 | Views: 2,019 |
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Group Ceremony (21) |
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