Citation: That Guy. "Sally Issues: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp81234)". Erowid.org. Jan 11, 2020. erowid.org/exp/81234
No stranger to hallucinogens, my cornucopia of mind-bending experiences ranges from ecstasy utopia, to shrooming weirdness, to LSD mayhem. None of this came remotely close to preparing me for the horrific life altering date I had with Sally.
I quit tripping over ten years ago
I quit tripping over ten years ago
but continued to smoke weed on a daily basis until my employer established a mandatory drug test policy. Not being much of a drinker, I grudgingly resigned to a life of sobriety. Then an old high school buddy contacted me, told me I needed to try Salvia and sent me a vial of 20X. He told me to purchase a small bong and a torch lighter, said I needed a sitter, told me to choose a comfortable cool and dim room, find some chill music and prepare myself for an indescribable fantasy. Being the experienced tripper I thought I was, I purchased the bong and lighter and disregarded all the rest of his advice. Big mistake.
My wife who has never tripped wasn’t interested in participating. After watching a few youtube videos, I was worried I would look ridiculous in front of her and figured it would be best to try it alone in our bedroom. The room can get pretty warm and doesn’t have much to offer in the way of dim mood lighting so I already had two strikes against me. Another problem was the fact I could hear my wife’s favorite programming blasting from the TV in the adjacent living room; her precious gay fashion reality television.
I took a cozy seat on the corner of the bed. Inhale exhale inhale; fucked. I vaguely remember setting the bong on the nightstand and completely lost control afterwards. The first problem was I didn’t remember smoking Salvia. In fact; I no longer recognized the room and knew nothing about myself or my life. Then the tearing began. It sounded like sheet metal being ripped in half. My body seemed to be rejecting my soul. As I dipped to the right I glanced back left and saw my body still sitting upright next to me. Raw panic set in I had an instinctual reaction to flee. I jumped up and darted forward with no idea what to expect behind any one of the three doors before me. There was a very “Allison In Wonderland” look to the room as the doors were well over twenty feet high. With no time to think I bolted for the door furthest to the right. Luckily it was partially open requiring only a push to reveal a bathroom. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror but only recognized my eyes. Still unaware of who and where I was I froze in place staring at my mysterious self. This was the end of any perception of time. I felt sweat glazing over my entire body and remember an intense heat venting from every joint. My slimy face felt like it was loosing its grip on my muscle tissue and would probably melt off any moment. No longer able to stand I stumbled back to the bed trying to piece the confusing situation back together.
At this point I knew I once had a life but figured I must have died before arriving in this horrible purgatory.
I knew I once had a life but figured I must have died before arriving in this horrible purgatory.
The gay fashion reality television chatter still blaring from the adjacent room grew louder and louder as key phrases began popping out and looping in my mind. I remember my inner dialogue shouting, “Oh you must think you’re sassy” over and over. This went on for what felt like hours. Paralysis soon set in and I laid on my stomach and doggy paddled across the deep end of madness. I loathed the looping sassiness and prayed for it to cease. I couldn’t tell if the unfamiliar room full of foreign objects was shrinking or I was growing.
An involuntary neck spasm forced a glimpse of the bong and realized I smoked Salvia. I instantly recognized my room and remembered this would be a temporary experience. I stared at my clock. Ok, 9:23. I knew the sensation wasn’t supposed go on for more than six minutes so without knowing how long I had been wacked out of my mind, I hung my hope on 9:29. 9:24 was the most stubborn minute of all. It felt like an eternity getting there. As each additional minute crawled past, I remember feeling a New Years Eve type nostalgia as I pieced my past back together and slowly reassembled my persona.
At 9:30 I reemerged in the living room. Exhausted and covered with sweat, I sat on the couch with my wife and swore off hallucinogens. I felt forever changed and as though I hadn’t seen her in months.
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