Citation: vagueboy. "It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp81246)". Erowid.org. Jun 6, 2021. erowid.org/exp/81246
I am smart. I just do dumb stuff on occasion. Perhaps not dumb exactly, perhaps poorly thought out would better apply.
This is long so I am adding a couple serious bits. Then you can read my funny but sadly 100% true story.
A: I am bipolar and I did not have a breakdown. Went well all things considered. I am pretty stable right now. I tend to wonder if those who crashed did not have the best possible foundation. I'm a mid level, on meds my whole life but capable of living a good life when I put my mind to it.
B: I am a creeper with everything. It takes more beer to hit me later. Same with any other chemicals I have ever tried. 20x nailed me before I even exhaled. I made many blunders here but starting at 20x was a biggie. 4 one hitters of 5x would have been safer. This is a thing to be patient with.
Poker tournament. Girlfriend and friend are playing, I'm wandering & exploring the massive structure both inside and out. I don't really get into poker and was really just enjoying the freedom to wander.
I had my 20x with me on the off chance I'd have the opportunity to use it. (I know, I get it now...)
I read experiences. I read warnings and suggestions. I just really didn't think it was going to hit me that hard. (yes, first time)
So I find a nice little corner. Gently pack my one hitter & get myself situated. I take my long drag with a bic and it starts hitting me before I even exhale. I was sitting indian stye and my legs started to shift like when they illustrate someone getting punched, 2-3 sets blurring back and forth.
At that point I apparently put the one hitter in my pocket so I wouldn't lose it. I don't remember the act but pieced it together via some kind of logic.
The next thing I remember, someone is talking to me and I said 'no, no, no.' I don't have much recollection of the images beyond the emotion. All I know is that the officer was violating something about the 'dream'? Like I needed to stay with what I was doing. I know there was more than what I remember, kind of like when you wake up abruptly from a dream and you know you dreamed but you're never able to recall it.
Now that my altered state has been interrupted I struggle to find reality. Find where I am. When I am. I did realize very quickly a few things: cop, trouble, wake up, speak.
Simple concepts that seemed so difficult to pull off. Now, thinking back, I think I realize that it was as if my awake brain slept while another part had awoken. Now I had to flip that.
I realize that it was as if my awake brain slept while another part had awoken. Now I had to flip that.
There was a panic and anxiety but it was from the fear of trouble.
The cop was telling me to stay where I was, I think he thought I was trying to get up but I knew I couldn't no matter how hard I tried 'no, I'm sorry, I'm not' 'I'm not trying.' And I think at that point the threat level went down.
I handed the cop the bag because I couldn't put to words what was happening to me. Explaining beyond simple utterances of reassurance just weren't working.
My head continued to clear but I was still having trouble speaking and generally forming thought. Finally I remembered where I was and told him my girlfriend's name. I tried to call but I knew she was in a game. They put me in the ambulance, took my blood pressure and pulse. 'It's a legal herb.' 'Alternative'. Just trying to explain.
The anxiety now was whether or not I'd get arrested for some kind of 'drunk in public' equivalant (no I didn't drink too). Also the impending bill for the ambulance was getting to me.
Finally I was able to explain what the pouch was full of, the cop asked if I still had my one hitter. I immediately pulled it out and handed it to him. He smelled it and said something else was there and I told him I practiced with cigar tobacco because I never used a one hitter.
All through my time in the ambulance, everyone is laughing. With me and at me. My naive nature with all this and just my overall demeanor. When I told the cop I practiced with tobacco he just burst into laughter. It kind of topped it all off. It had been adequately conveyed that I just did something I had no clue about, no experience in general with what happened to me and just overall that I knew I was an idiot.
Finally I can walk again and we said our farewells. As I was walking away they shouted and dangled my keys. As the medic handed them to me he said 'and by the way, we all love your shirt, perfect.'
My shirt (I swear to you): It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I do not count this as a bad experience. Yes my girlfriend and friend were both pissed combined with bewilderment that I'd do that, in public, in the dark, by myself, etc. They didn't know I had it or had been interested in it.
Yeah, many levels of stupid here.
I will note that I was approached 30 feet from where I originally planted myself. That had me thinking for a while.
Nothing was bad, none of the natural anxieties or fears were blown out of proportion. I am bipolar and I have not had a breakdown. I think next time will be much better. In my comfy home with my girl. I can't wait to try again. My girlfriend will be there with me next time. I also wonder if I should get some lower ##x or dilute.
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