DOSE: T+ 0:00	30 mg	oral	DOM	(powder / crystals)
T+ 3:00	4 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam	(pill / tablet)
T+ 3:30	6 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

It was a Sunday evening and I was looking forward to a short experience which would obviously not interfere with my work the next day. I had no previous experience with 2C-D so I decided this was a good time to test the substance. After checking various sources and possible dosages my mind was set on a 30mg experience (I considered also 40 and 50). My drug recipients are all labeled with popular name, trivial chemical name, structural formula and concentration (for liquids) to reduce the risk of taking in the wrong chemical. Despite all of this, I later discovered that I did, not much unlike the 100mg report of 2C-B in PiHKAL. It is all the more frightening, as I now recognize the many warnings and signs that manifested themselves, even in an early stage, which I neglected and led to this incident which
luckily did not end in a disaster.


Medical context: ADHD (with medication).
Substance context: had several experiences, mostly with psychedelic drugs.

[22:00] I ingested 30mg of the compound I held for 2C-D. I remember the taste to be bitter, not quite good but not repulsive. It reminded me strongly of 2,5-dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine (DOM/STP). The dilution was 2mg/mL which seemed also slightly off as I remembered that the HCl salts of the phenetylamines didn't dissolve very good,
but I couldn't quite remember it well so I dismissed the feelings as uncertainty, driven by my own bad memory and the possible confusion with the closely related DOM.

[22:20] Early signs.

[23:20] I marked this point as 'start of peak', which seemed reasonable for 2C-D. There was also a feeling of leveling of intensity.

[23:20-24:00] Euphoric phase. There was a profound self-appreciation, almost erotic. Music was superb. I lied down on my bed and watched the lights move wildly with the music. At one point I couldn't make the difference anymore between shadows and real objects. There was also considerable leg tremor, but it felt particularly pleasant. A printout of a tesseract projection came out in 3D from the paper and
started moving and shifting in impossible ways. I began to worry about the intensity which was not at all in line with common reports for 2C-D. I again noticed a close resemblance to a previous experience with DOM/STP (which was also very intense). I notify a friend, on the internet about the unexpected intensity but he is not online.

[00:00] Instead of leveling, the intensity kept rising again. Worries increase. I was lying on the bed when 'it' started. I had an EXTREMELY intense jamais-vu experience which suddenly set off panic. Certainty dissolved almost instantly, instead I turned into a paranoid being, trying to make the fear go away with logic and self-comfort. Somehow, it still worked and I could enjoy brief moments of music, light and mathematics. I decided to try to contact my friend again on the internet (still online). As I was typing, I needed all my effort to focus since the visual distortions were at this point so intense that it was nearly impossible to observe any object longer than 1 second.

[00:10] In just 10min the intensity grew so overwhelming I started panicking. I was torn apart in doubt, fear and shame, because I was now certain that something was definately wrong and somehow this '2C-D' was not 2C-D at all. Yet I felt a strong resistance to call for help, still hoping it would go away. Instead, hope slowly evolved into hopelessness and desperation, as I began to fear for my mental
health. There was also a very weird headache coming on; something I have never felt before.

[00:15](?) My mind was now set on calling for help. This didn't work very well, as it was very difficult to handle my phone (I was shaking *a lot* and it was difficult to remember the exact steps to find a phone number). It is very hard to describe what happened next. The closest I can think of, is the scene in Terminator III where the Terminator is infected with a virus and is torn apart between destroying and protecting Connor. I felt this way: my mind started the commands to find the number in the address book on the phone, but the commands were wrong and aborted over and over again. Call - abort - call - abort - call - abort... At the same time I felt the limit of what one would call 'utter desperation' and I nearly sank onto my knees, crying, ready to yell for help and the feeling that I was
having a mental breakdown or worse: full-blown psychosis. My mind seemed to short-circuit and thoughts were multiplying, ever louder, faster, and I just couldn't handle it anymore and then...

Nothing.

[00:20](?) I don't know how long I was out or what I was doing, but I was still standing with my phone in my hand in the hallway. I had a clear moment and quickly called the number.

X: 'Hello?'
Me: 'X! I'm glad to hear you. Wait a second.'
(... going outside, don't wake the house mate!)
Me: 'X, do you think 30mg is a good dose for 2C-D?'
X: '30mg is a very good dose for 2C-D.'
Me: 'Still, this is crazingly intense, I feel very anxious, and I
think I might not have made the brightest move to do this alone.
I'm totally dissociating and ...'
X: 'Me, do you want me to come over and bring Clonazepam to stop
it?'
Me: 'Yes, that would be good.'
X: 'OK, can you remember your house number? I seem to have
forgotten'.
Me: .... (thinking...) 'No...' (panick)
X: 'OK, I...'
Me: 'Wait! I remember, it's ####'.
X: 'OK, hang on, don't do anything stupid, I'll come as fast as I
can.'

Knowing that help was coming, I thought I could ease down my feelings but I couldn't. Music was distorted and echoing, (external) voices seemed to multiply. Television was heavily distorted and scary. Even the news, telephone games and cartoons. I could feel losing grip again and was fearing that X might come too late.

[12:30] I wake up my house mate and tell him what happened. He kept me company and eased me down. I'm glad I made this decision and very grateful for his help. I'm looking at the clock like every 5 seconds. Time seemed to move at different speeds, I feel extremely detached and I'm experiencing ridiculously strong derealization.

[01:00] At last, bell rings. X rushes in and immediately gives me 4mg of Clonazepam. By that time it was nearly impossible for me to tell if what was happening was real, or fantasy. I'm ordered to the couch and I ask X to explain to my roommate in detail (and coherently) what this is all about. I also tell him that I'm now practically sure that I must have gotten the wrong chemical (still not considering the
possibility that I just took the wrong bottle!!) Anxiety fades but the psychedelic effects are still as intense as they were. To the great amazement of X, I suddenly seemed very clear, prompt, awake and I could walk around easily (4mg Clonazepam should put me vastly asleep).

[~01:30] X now also thinks that something might be seriously wrong. We go upstairs and I give instructions on how to get to my stash (I laid down on the bed for safety). I KNEW the bottles of 2C-D and DOM were untouched before the start, so it was easy to check. First bottle.

X: '2C-D. It's still sealed.'
Me: 'Crap. Quickly, look for the DOM.'
X: 'DOM... It's open!!'
Me: 'F - * - C - K !!!'
Me: 'Sh*tsh*tsh*t what have I done!!'
Me: 'Don't we have to call 911 or something?'
X: 'Don't be so quick, get down on your bed and take this' (6 more
mg of Clonazepam)
X: 'Are you SURE about the dose?'
Me: 'Check my notebook, check my notebook, it's all in there!'
(X checks out: 30mg, 2mg/mL in the book 2mg/mL on the bottle)

[02:00] still no sleep, visuals still very intense, but there is no more anxiety.

[08:00] X checks out, I continue sleeping.

[18:00] I wake up, total train wreck.

[Day+1] barely functional

[Day+2] I try to go to work. I feel psychedelic on the road and there is still the headache.

[Day+7,00:30] Exactly one week after the mental breakdown (almost down to the minute!!), I have a bad panic attack and I feel the same weird headache as 1 week ago.

[Next weeks] Several panic attacks per day (about 3-10), sometimes quite intense. Severe memory impairment. Some things go smoother though, such as improvising at the piano.

[About 1 month later] Applied very small therapeutic dose of 2C-B (4.5mg): no problems, no panic.

[9 months later] I have done several more psychedelic experiments. I'm now much more prone to anxiety during come-up, but it ALWAYS turned out OK. Every now and then I have light panic attacks, but they are manageable.


I do consider myself as intelligent enough, yet it was my own stupidity and negligence that led to this situation, which may very well have lead to my death. No discussion about drugs go by or my mind wanders about what would have happened if I would have chosen the 50mg experience. Or if the mistake was between 2C-B/DOB. Or what would have happened if X was not there (I cannot thank you enough for this). I'm
not ready to leave the psychedelic experience yet, and I do not consider this DOM overdose as useless -- instead during the come-up it has shown me a view on the potential which is now, as I write this text, just barely opening up to let me in. It has also shown me the other side, the side of myself that I did not want to see, the limits of what I can bare and the face of utter desperation which finally defined my true self in a way I could not predict.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 81707
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Jan 9, 2010	Views: 35,610
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