Citation: ReefTrance. "So Terribly Fucking Disorientating!: An Experience with Beer & Cannabis (exp81778)". Erowid.org. Jul 21, 2017. erowid.org/exp/81778
Insane in the Membrane - SPINNING = SHIT!!
I had done pot a few times before this particular night, but this time I was drinking as well, and the two substances together in a high dose is not a good thing especially for me, considering I'm pretty much a lightweight when it comes to anything.
So I was at one of my mates place with a heap of my other friends, maybe ten of my friends, and my mates older brother and his friends. We were just having a bit of a gathering, having a few drinks, smoking some weed together. When I first got to my mates house who shall be called C I came there with my two best friends H and S. I was feeling a bit awkward and tense when I first walked up the stairs to the second floor to Cís house because I had only been there a couple of times before and I had never met his brothers friends, and I was feeling a bit intimidated by them, since they are so much older than me, and are all pretty big guys. Anyway C cracked open some drinks for us and me H and S went onto the platform at the top of the stairs, and the sun was just starting to go behind the horizon. There I exclaimed to them my fear of vomiting from over drinking, because I had never been that drunk before so Iíve never puked, the only time I had vomited was when I was just sick, and everybody knows how horrible that is. S was telling me that I wouldnít throw up anyway, so why should I worry about it? Word to the wise, donít ever let your friends tell you that you wonít puke. Because it will have the exact opposite effect.
About half an hour later more of our friends rocked up to Cís house and I was starting to feel more relaxed, partly because more people I knew were there and also because the alcohol was making me feel very calm. The night went on in that cool feeling within me, I was very at home wherever I was, but the outside me was having a really good time partying. I was very happy that I was escalating towards the drunk side of the moon, I could feel it inside me, the buzz was very strong and very exciting for the first time.
About two hours later I was drinking more and more, which resulted in me gaining enough confidence to go talk to the guys that I was previously intimidated by, they were in a room smoking pot. I went in like we the best of friends and just started chatting with them, they were sitting down on the floor and passing the bong along the line. Eventually it got to me. One of the guys had just smoked his turn away so he was packing the cone piece for me. The guy who was packing it was a regular stoner who smoked nearly every day, so he packed a fucking massive cone for me. Not knowing or not realising that because I'm pretty skinny my body couldnít handle that much and it was seriously strong weed too.
my body couldnít handle that much and it was seriously strong weed too.
I got him to light the cherry for me, because I was just starting to learn how to work a bong, and they are very strange contraptions when you just start using them. I pulled the whole thing with a bit of effort and as soon as I did the bong went round in a circle again. When it got back to me for the second time I was very much on the way to getting high, my head felt very light and my hands got that sort of tingly pins and needles feeling, the one where even the smallest grain of sand could be felt, and it would feel fucking cool! So I sat there on the floor feeling the carpet with my hands and still making conversation with the guys.
The dude packed me another huge cone and I smoked the whole thing again, but this time round it went straight to my goddamn head! It very nearly felt like I was rocketing toward the moon. After that I understand why its called getting ďHighĒ because my head felt like it was in the clouds. This wasnít a bad feeling but it was scaring me because of how foreign it felt. Amazingly I managed to tell the guys that I was leaving the room, I got up and walked (or flew) to the door.
Outside the room the world was a total stranger to me. Everything looked the same but everything was VERY different. It felt like my eyes had sunk into the farthest side of the back of my head and were looking out into the holes that were left behind where my eyes had been. My vision had sort of a black border around the edges, like I was trapped in a box. I'm not sure if this is the feeling people talk about when they say that they feel like theyíre in a movie, and watching themselves through their own eyes. But I did feel like my head and my body were two separate elements, like I was watching everything that I was doing from far away, while also being there and doing things at exactly the same time. To some people reading that wonít make much sense at all, especially if youíve never smoked the green before. But I know itís a pretty common feeling, but this was in the extreme side of things.
I was stumbling down the hall toward the lounge room and about halfway there (and the hall isn't very long) I suddenly felt like my legs were just gliding along the floor. But thatís not really the best way to describe it because it felt like my legs werenít fucking there at all! So my legs no longer existed but I gained strings attached to my head and shoulders, like I was a puppet, and these strings kept my head very still and straight giving me the ability to stay upright. So I could not feel my legs not one little bit, but instead of falling over like some people with numb limbs do, I felt as though I had never moved more gracefully in my entire life. When I normally walk, although I donít pay much attention to this, I can see that the world is slightly moving up and down with every step I take, but because I had no legs but was instead levitating like I was something from the future the world was moving by me incredibly smoothly. It was the weirdest fucking feeling, very, very strange. This was the only time in my life I have ever felt like this, and I suppose one has to be extremely high Ėas I was- to feel it.
As far as I was concerned the whole no legs thing was pretty cool and I would gladly like to feel that way again, but if it means I have to go through what I went through next, I would shove the whole no logs/ levitation thing up my own arse and rip my liver out my ear.
So as I slowly levitated toward the sofa the feeling in my head that everything was cool slowly disappeared. My legs were not there again until I sat down. This was maybe 10/ 15 minutes after smoking my first bong that night, but I can only figure that out in hindsight because as many know, time has little meaning when you are intoxicated, and it felt like I was in the hall for a very long time.
I sat down and, yup, my legs are definitely there now. But as I rediscovered my legs, I couldnít make sense of anything anymore. Nothing could be seen or felt because my head was spinning so goddamn fast. This was made worse x100 because as I was spinning I was flickering my eyes from side to side trying to focus on something that was staying still. Anyway something caught my attention and I donít know how I managed to focus but I did. It was the TV. And music was playing through the stereo and the TV had all the swirling colours that pulse with the music. It was fucking hypnotic and I couldnít look away no matter how much I wanted to because I was soo fucking dizzy. It felt like I could have been staring at the swirling, pulsing colours for hours but I know that it wasnít because the same song was still playing. As I sat there, with my brain flying out my ear one of my friends noticed how completely fucked I was and asked if I was ok. I managed to look away from the TV, to look at the floor before choking out that I needed a bucket.
That was it for me. That was when I as I knew it left the building. My body was no longer controlled by my head, and my head was lost under water, very deep down.
Although I never actually lost consciousness I could feel my head slipping away from me. The next thing I knew was that I was vomiting all over myself before anyone had retrieved a bucket. But the disgusting thing is that I was vomiting uncontrollably on myself but I couldnít give a shit. You know when your drunk and you throw up? Itís like sweet relief; it feels kind of good to expel all that shit in your system. All I wanted was for the spinning to stop and to feel normal again
All I wanted was for the spinning to stop and to feel normal again
, and I knew the sooner I finished puking it wouldnít be so bad, but I had drank alot before hand and there was still alot of shit in me, so it didnít come very easy.
I donít really know for sure because I was so lost inside my own head, but I guess in my friendís frantic search for a bucket she had got others to help her. And I wasnít exactly inconspicuous myself, looking like a human fountain. So before I really knew what was happening a bucket was being shoved under my face and voices were all around me. I tried to pull myself back to the surface again but I could only get so far. I made sense of my friend C, he was asking if I was ok to somebody in a frantic voice. But then I slipped under again.
I could feel the surface underneath me shift until I wasnít there anymore. People were trying to make me walk to the bathroom back down the hall. But I'm pretty sure my friends figured out I couldnít stand at all very quickly, because then I was lying on the ground with hands all over my hands and legs. I somehow managed to figure out what they were trying to do even though I was trapped inside my own mind. My friends were going to carry me by my limbs to the bathroom.
This is where time had zero meaning.
When I was trapped inside my own head time moved at normal speed to me, but it was actually moving extremely slow, because every time I would manage to claw my way out of my brain and half way to the surface my friends would often be on the same step they were taking the last time I slipped under, or just a little farther down the hall, but it felt like I could have been under for a few minutes. This was so terribly fucking disorientating! And since I had already gone so far over the edge I was afraid that I wouldnít come back again, in my head I was freaking the FUCK out. If you were watching me though you would have just thought that I was passed out, unresponsive but still throwing up, but I was still awake.
I got a hold of myself a little more as we got farther down the hallway and I came to the conclusion that I was dying of an overdose of marijuana. I didnít know that there has never actually been a case of somebody dying from smoking too much weed, so thatís all I could hold onto. And when I wasnít worrying that I was dying from an overdose I was sure -that in my state of not being able to move my body- I would for sure die from choking on my own vomit. It was very hard to breath with it still coming out of my face like a river.
The eternity in the hallway was horrible, but it blessed me with one small thing, I could now move my body the tiniest bit, my mind and my body were still too separate elements, but this time it was more defined then before. This time when I was in my mind I could think normally, and I was saying things in my head like ďok, why the FUCK canít I move my own body? I can think normal, but I canít move. What the hell is wrong with me!!?Ē things along that train of thought. I didnít care for where I was or what was going on around me, all I wanted was to be able to move, that was first priority. But when I got my wish, it wasnít what I was hoping for. Much like my mind: when I was thinking I couldnít move. When I was moving I couldnít think, it was like they werenít connected together anymore. So I gave up on the moving thing after a few tries; because moving your arm or leg a few inch isn't much progress when your brain canít tell it what to do next.... By the time we finally got to the fucking bathroom I had purposefully fallen back into my thoughts. I didnít really want to surface if it was so horrible out there; besides, I had control in my head Ė a little anyway- which was better than nothing considering that I had zero to start off with.
Now that I had been successfully moved into the bathroom by at least five drunken teenagers, nearly everyone left except two of the girls, who began to undress me. I was made to stand so they could take off my jeans, T-shirt, bra and shoes before they put me in a cold shower... Standing was the last thing I needed so I began to puke again.
The rumour that a cold shower will sober you up or bring you down is a big fat lie. It didnít make me feel any better at all, especially since I was now basically naked and still throwing up. After a while there was only one girl looking after me, and for some reason she began to cry. I thought that I had made her cry so I began to apologize, telling her to go have fun and that she should just leave me. I was feeling a bit better now, it had been maybe an hour since I first lost my mind, and I had regained considerable control of my body now. But I had realised what I had done and began to feel incredibly guilty for making people worry about me. I mean, when I first lost my mind I was puking my guts up and was sure I was going to die, so if thatís what I thought, then what would everyone else think? But what I was most ashamed of was my guilt about what I got up to behind my parents back. If they had seen me the way I was I think my mother would have cried, and my father would be extremely disappointed in me, and those things were far worse than both of them being mad as hell.
I canít be too sure because I donít remember this part, but after about 1 and a half/ 2hrs in the bathroom I suppose somebody dressed me in some of my clean clothes and moved me to a bedroom. Because after the bathroom period, my memory takes off again in a bedroom. I lost track of time completely now, my only guess is that it was maybe midnight or 1 oíclock in the morning...
So I was lying in somebodyís bed staring at a kettle on the floor. Yep, you heard right. There was an electric kettle on the floor of somebodyís bedroom, and yes, it was real. I canít sleep because if I close my eyes I spin the fuck out, and I was definitely not prepared to go there again, so I lied there awake and not moving my eyes from this strange kettle. The next thing I know 2 drunk people are coming into the bedroom and they get on the bed with me. I may as well have been invisible, because they certainly didnít care that there was another person lying there with their eyes wide open, while they had sex right next to me! Even though I had no intention to move a muscle before they came in, it certainly gave me more motivation to stay still.... I was still feeling seriously strung out from the previous few hours, and there were people having sex next to me but I felt very content where I was. Donít get me wrong, the experience that I had was about as far from a good time as you could possibly fucking get, but the fact that I hadnít died like I thought I was going to, and that I'd be able to see my friends as a friend, instead of a fucked up idiot was very reassuring.
I got up a few hours later -and it was still during the night- to the sound of voices outside the bedroom door. I felt pretty ok now so I talked to my friend H and apparently what had happened to me was called ďgreening outĒ. If you ever can help yourself try not to EVER, in your whole entire life ďgreen outĒ ITíS FUCKING SHIT!!!... It has happened to me twice now; the second time was not nearly as bad as this experience but it was still the worst feeling. It is the spinning that killed me; it made me feel like shit. At times when I have been Greening I thought I was going to die, and other times I wish that I was dead, just so I could escape the shitness of it. Each time after Greening my guts out, I would be overly cautious about smoking weed than I needed to. Knowing your own limits about what you are taking and how much your body can handle is all that can help you.
I didnít create this report to discourage the use of marijuana in any way, it is an amazing plant and I smoke it nearly every weekend now. This experience has helped me discover and understand about how much weed is too much for me, and I am pretty fucking grateful for that knowledge, because Iíd rather not go through something like this again. I think itís ok to push your limits just a little once you are experienced with whatever you are using, so long as your body will be able to handle it and adapt to the change.
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