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The Chaos From Which Form Arises?
DMT & Cannabis
by IllumiNation
Citation:   IllumiNation. "The Chaos From Which Form Arises?: An Experience with DMT & Cannabis (exp81808)". Erowid.org. Jan 31, 2018. erowid.org/exp/81808

 
DOSE:
    DMT
      Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT: 148 lb


So, I have mixed feeling on whether to repeat this again, just because it seemed like I got stuck there and could literally get stuck in this other timeless dimension, from which all form arises and the Mind must conquer this chaos resulting from complete loss of context, direction, identity. But all four times I went in I found myself going deeper, and the last time I would come out, and then it would start again. It seemed like I kept getting stuck.

Oh shit, I died. No I'm still connected, I'm breathing very slowly; wait, am I breathing? I have no body, I'm stuck, can I walk? I stood up, whoa! Sideways. Alright I can grasp this. I go into the bathroom, my pupils are two massive black holes with crystalline rims of blue around them. That is one thing I remember, but I think the gist of it all was just too much to bring back into this form. At first, I considered whether I was in hell or not. Then, I said no, this what I? Make it, but that launched me deep into a place I wasn't ready to be yet.

I think God is the One who conquers the chaos, and through which we are deified. The compassion of God subdues the manifestation of evil from Tao, or the bardo, or wherever I was (the I, the Mind), but does not destroy it, for when it is destroyed, all existence must be destroyed with it, literally creating the need for a new heaven and a new earth. Maybe...

Or maybe this was a reality of my own Soul when I lose this form and have a chance to conquer the chaos I was thrown into. I got scared about literally getting stuck, moving on and not having the chance to live out this Ego.

'There is no out there. It's all in here'--Alex Grey

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 81808
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 21 
Published: Jan 31, 2018Views: 797
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DMT (18) : Unknown Context (20), General (1)

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