Citation: legi0n. "Just Another Day: An Experience with Heroin (exp81868)". Erowid.org. Jun 25, 2019. erowid.org/exp/81868
I awoke on the couch in my grandmother's home only a few hours my last fix. It was early morning, maybe 2am, my grandmother upstairs in bed, cat sleeping peacefully on the recliner, the TV casting a bluish hue on the walls of the darkened room. I was groggy and dazed, but already feeling the anxious tension that precedes opioid withdrawal. I suddenly became aware of my heartbeat, which reverberated through my skull with an audible force. I was rapidly becoming more lucid as anxiety and a subtle feeling of dread began to overtake my thoughts. What my body and mind was telling me was clear; NOW is the time for another fix. One more shot, then I would head upstairs to bed and sleep some more; same shit, different day.
My gear was always within arms reach, in this instance directly below me, under the couch. I reached down with the intention of obtaining a syringe when I realized that I already had several in my pocket. I hobbled the short distance to the bathroom and shut the door, turning on the light as well as the ceiling fan with the intention of masking any conspicuous noise. The bright fluorescent light pained my eyes; my forearm reflexively raised to my brow in defense. With my free hand I unlatched my belt and tossed it to the floor. I sat down on the toilet seat for a moment, slowly lowering my forearm from my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the light.
With both hands I reached into my side pockets. From the right pocket I retrieved an unwrapped bundle of New Jersey dope and a large wad of cotton, from the left a spoon, lighter, and an unused 30gauge 100cc syringe. Without a second thought, like an airplane on autopilot, I laid the spoon on the sink, tore off and balled up a small bit of cotton, unsealed 6 of the 10 packets of dope and uncapped the fresh syringe. From the sink's faucet I drew 50cc of cold water into the syringe and immediately discharged it to rinse out any residue that might have remained in the needle from when it was manufactured. I carefully and meticulously unfolded and opened each small packet, all of which were stamped with the word 'Take Off' in red and had a small picture of an airplane, and dumped the fine white powder into the center of the spoon. I drew another 50cc of cold water into the syringe and squirted it in a circular motion over the powder, making sure all of the powder was in the pool of murky white/brown liquid. I picked up the spoon, holding it between my thumb, index and middle finger, and heated it using a Bic lighter until the powder was fully dissolved, leaving a clear dark amber solution. I put the spoon back on the sink and dropped the small ball of cotton into the center of the spoon. The cotton immediately turned from bright white to brown as it absorbed the liquid.
Nervous anticipation overcame me as I put the syringe to the cotton and eagerly drew the heroin into it. I turned the syringe upside down, the eye of the needle skyward, and tapped the barrel to eliminate small air bubbles trapped at the bottom. I pushed the plunger until there was no air left in the barrel and a tiny droplet of the heroin solution could be seen coming out of the eye of the needle. I retrieved my belt from the floor and secured it tightly around my right arm, just above the elbow. Within a few seconds, my favorite vein began to bulge and swell, making for an easy hit. I tapped the vein a few times, felt it and examined it to avoid any potential complications, such as missing the vein or hitting an artery or nerve. With my free hand I picked up the syringe and positioned it at a 45 degree angle relative to the vein and slowly pushed in the needle, feeling the resistance of scar tissue and skin as it slid through until I was in the vein. Heart beating faster and hands starting to tremble, I pulled back on the plunger and registered a lovely rose of blood. I loosened the belt's grip and immediately began pushing down on the plunger. In a matter of seconds, the syringe was empty, all of the heroin was in my bloodstream on a direct path to my brain's pleasure centers. I removed the syringe from my arm and put it aside. In less than 10 seconds, I felt the familiar tickling sensation in my throat that indicates the hit was good.
Still sitting on the toilet, I crouched over and rest my head on my arms which were resting on my knees. A brilliant surge of warmth and serenity instantly and dramatically replaced all negative feelings with pure bliss and contentment. All pain and bodily discomfort melted away, replaced by a bone deep warmth and intense pleasure that could be felt in every cell of my body. My eyes instinctively closed and I was thrust into a vibrant colorful dream world, navigating through endless psychedelic landscapes with no fear or anxiety, only perfect harmony with myself and the world. A flurry of abstract thoughts and ideas presented themselves at a rapid pace, too rapid to fully comprehend and explore. They would come in the form of imagined conversations with people or situations in scenes that changed rapidly, but there was no anxiety nor was it overwhelming; just tacit acceptance of whatever was being presented. The outside world faded out of existence; there was nothing but now, and now was all that mattered. All of my problems, my families' problems, the world's problems were nothing but absurd notions conjured up and made real by the power of people's belief in them. I was enlightened; shown that in the end, nothing really matters, and that people should stop worrying so much enjoy life more. As I enjoyed these intensely pleasurable sensations, the rush gradually tapered, giving way to feelings of acceptance, happiness, deep contentment and intense bodily comfort. After what had seemed like hours I looked at the clock hanging in the bathroom and saw it had only been about 30 minutes. In the world of heroin, time moves very slow in comparison to normal time.
Still feeling the effects of the heroin quite strongly, I cleaned up, saved the empty bags for scraping if need be, rinsed out the syringe with cold water, capped it, and put everything back in it's place (in this situation, my pockets). I made my way upstairs, lied down in bed and immediately fell asleep. Just another day.
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