Citation: Michael. "Alone in the Universe: An Experience with DMT & LSD (exp81894)". Erowid.org. Jul 2, 2019. erowid.org/exp/81894
Beautiful days come and go, but this day was different. It was the second day at a music festival with some friends, at an amazing location in the middle of a forest by a quarry. We had all been recovering from a pleasant LSD trip from the night before, and took the afternoon to relax and get ready for the night ahead.
It was about 2 p.m. and we had stumbled upon some hash food, which we were more than happy to purchase. So we ate our mysterious cookies and brownies and headed out to the lake to swim for awhile. Everything about this day had been perfect, and we finally headed back to the camp site well before sundown to savor four hits of very powerful LSD followed by a bottle of Jameson. We had met some very interesting characters around our camp, and welcomed them to sit around a modest fire. One of the guests had offered us a few hits of Jerry Garcia blotter acid, which we of course couldn’t refuse.
After about an hour I had started to feel incredibly high. I had already begun to feel the energy of the trees mending myself, the wind was gentle and passed through me as I could see all these colors mashing against people that I have only just met, some were neutral, some were terrifying, some just perfect.
As dusk had been approaching, a man came to our site, and it was only me and another friend at this point. He pulled out a small pouch. Opened it and had told us that if we want to see the truth, that we should smoke this. I looked at him and I saw in his huge black holes that he really wanted us to experience this. So free of charge he prepared it for us, my friend was first, and he had taken a very large hit, held it in and lay back in his chair. I watched as this guy had prepared it for me. I looked at him and could tell he was barely conscious. So then the guy lit it up for me and I inhaled the smoke. I held it for a very long time and it was extremely uncomfortable for about 30 seconds. I slowly let the smoke out and I felt every molecule in my body contract.
The sun was halfway over the horizon and I started to lose all connections of the real world. I lost all emotions. It started with a subtle buzzing sound in my left ear. I was focused on this space in between this tree and the sun. Suddenly the tree started to fade away, and I saw what I would compare to stained glass, mostly warm colors like reds, oranges, and yellows. I then felt as if I had risen out of my body and flowing toward this dark space, a crack between the glass. I moved faster toward it, and the darkness began to fill the sky. Then I remember spinning toward it, as if it was a black hole, and soon I saw what I could only imagine as nothing. And then two figures came out of the dark hallway of nothing, specs of light at first. They approached me very calmly. I could only describe them as male and female figures. The male figure, which looked like an oval, spoke, and said in a sort of digital voice, “do you see it yet?” The female figure, which was more circular, repeated more naturally, “can you see it now?”
I was not myself at this moment. I was what I could only describe as nothing, or energy in its purest form. I could not speak, nor was I aware of anything else in existence. I felt alone. I’m not sure if it was death or birth or just a collapse of self awareness, but for that brief moment after they spoke, was the most beautiful moment of my life, there was nothing. I quickly started to come back to reality. The oval figure broke its shape and formed into voices next to me, and the wind, and the trees brushing against each other, and the circle had broke into the sun, and from there I could see everything like it was brand new, like I opened my eyes for the first time. After that sat in the chair for about ten more minutes, and was just okay with everything. The rest of the night was sort of a blur. From then on I have yet to touch psychedelics.
This experience made me so much more appreciative toward everything. And almost every time I fall asleep at night, for what is less than a brief moment, I can see that same nothing, and I can’t help but smile.
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