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Burning Heart
Cannabis
by bellerphone
Citation:   bellerphone. "Burning Heart: An Experience with Cannabis (exp81940)". Erowid.org. Jun 26, 2021. erowid.org/exp/81940

 
DOSE:
4 hits smoked Cannabis  
    oral Pharms - Paroxetine (daily)
    oral Pharms - Valproic Acid (daily)
    oral Pharms - Zolpidem (daily)
    oral Coffee (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 245 lb


My friend got me some weed for some very bad depression and thought, from what he said, it would really help my mood. Well I put a little in a water bong on three different occasions and felt nothing. I thought perhaps the weed was too weak- I had asked for weed that wasn't too strong for my first time.

I then said for him too get stronger stuff. I sat in my bathtub, nervous and put the 'stronger weed' into the bong and took four consecutive hits and held them for about five seconds each - as a side note my first experiences I only took two quick hits and didn't hold the smoke very long, maybe 2 seconds.

I sat there in the tub trying to read Ayn Rand and I couldn't follow the dialogue. I tried to reread several sentences and realized it must be the weed. I put the book down and immediately I felt as if my brain was swelling and someone was standing at the base of my spine, just below the skull. The pressure grew much worse until I started hearing distant voices like children in the backyard playing.

Then it came, the complete and total immobility that freaked me out. I could move but if I did I felt as if I was being held down and paralyzed (contradictory, I know). When I did move my head an intense burning poured from the back of my head down to my chest and as soon as the fire hit my sternum my heart began to beat as if it was ripping itself out of my body. I started to panic but could not speak or move. I thought I was going to die.

I began to feel very hypnagogic like 'resistance is futile' shit. I forced myself to stay awake so that if I did fall asleep I wouldn't slip under water and drown.

This continued for what seemed about 30-60 mins. I suffer from severe panic attacks where I become basically catatonic. I have depression and take paxil, valproic acid, ambien and drink coffee daily.

I was nervous during the experience and afraid my parents might knock on the door to see if I was alright. If they found me they would have called 911.

It was in a bathroom with no ventilation with incense burning.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 81940
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 28 
Published: Jun 26, 2021Views: 170
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Cannabis (1) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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