Citation: Ackdaddy. "Rewired Brain: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp82637)". Erowid.org. Nov 21, 2013. erowid.org/exp/82637
I was sitting around recovering from my lsd trip from the night before when I got a text from a buddy asking if I wanted to go in on some salvia. I've done salvia 10+ times, and have enjoyed it nearly every time, so naturally I was enthusiastic. I met up with him and another friend and we made our way down to the headshop. Something wasn't quite right in my head still, whether it be from the lsd or the lack of sleep from the night before, but for some reason I was worrying and not talking a whole lot. My friend comes out of the store with Salvia Zone Dark Matter level (the highest available), which I'm fairly sure is new because I've never seen the level on any of the previous Salvia Zone boxes I've purchased. Anyhow, we made our way to a secluded area and parked, and despite my arguing, we remained in the car for the tripping. I smoked a bowl to myself to calm my nerves, which hit me especially hard since I hadn't smoked in quite some time due to drug tests.
Friend #1 went first. He mumbled incoherently and grabbed friend #2s leg, asking him who he was. Friend #2 then proceeded to hit and clear the bong, and spoke the same jibberish I was used to hearing from salvia trippers. Now it was my turn, and for some reason, this strange fear I had been feeling the whole night arose in my again. I took a massive hit, barely cleared it, and felt my heart beat faster than it ever has. I don't remember the point at which I crossed over, but all I know is it was the most terrifying event of my entire life.
The two buddies in front of me turned into red stripes of a candy cane, and the space between them turned white to complete it. I looked to my left and saw policemen opening the car door, asking us questions, which mostly consisted of 'What's wrong with the guy in the back?' My parents and grandparents appeared outside the car, asking me what was wrong? I tried to answer them, explain to them that I was a vegetable but I couldn't. They began to shake their heads, to cry, saying that it was a shame, such a life wasted. I was suddenly transported to a hospital bed, where the vivid hallucinations continued. All of my friends and people I had known were surrounding me, mumbling things about how terrible it was to see me like this, remembering how smart I used to be, and now I was no better than a child with down syndrome. I was transported from here to my school auditorium, where I was given a short introduction as the one who's life was ruined by drugs. I stumbled onto the stage and said with slurred speech, just like that of a handicapped child 'My name's John and I used to be normal but I did too much drugs and now I'm like this.'
As I slowly returned back to my own body, I began to panic even more, checking my phone to see if I had really been talking to my parents. All I could ask my friends was 'Is this real?' I tried to remember who I was and what made me, but I couldn't even remember my own name. It finally came back to me, but all it was was a name and that meant nothing. I couldn't remember my family's name, friends' names or anything that made me who I was. I was completely dumbfounded. I struggled to keep my eyes open, which felt like they were bleeding and being pressed on from the inside out. Wu-Tang Clan was being played, and the words began to change into what I was feeling. Something like 'His homeboys ain't listening, now he's stressin.' The words echoed throughout my head, as they continued to mock me and play on my fears. I'm unsure if my mind was changing the words to what it wanted them to be, or my mind was just absorbing the words as it's own. I told my friends after about 15 minutes that something was wrong with me, that it shouldn't last this long. I was terrified I had been rendered permanently insane. I kept telling friend #2 to change the music, but he refused. I told him it was messing with my head, but he still refused. I tried to tell them I needed eyedrops so I could see, water, and to lie down, but neither of them would listen to me at this point. We made our way to a pizza place and despite my arguing, they forced me to come in with them and sit. I continued to sweat, fearing I had suffered severe brain damage. I slowly kept remembering things about my life and who I was. Another friend of my came to pick me up and I explained to him that I was worried I had been thrown into a permanent trip.
Now I've always been a very mentally strong individual. I don't let things get to me, and very little scares me (I'm a big extrovert btw). It's been a few days since the trip, and I'm really worried about myself. Whenever I begin a conversation, I get extremely scared about getting scared, which in turn causes the person not to listen to what I have to say, which scares me even more. Thinking about things that made me happy and excited in the past worries me now. Thinking about going out in public places scares me. I'm honestly not sure I can even look at another drug without my hands shaking. I in no way blame this on the drugs, but just would like to warn anyone thinking about taking something as mentally challenging as high level salvia, make absolutely sure you're in the right state of mind to do so. If you have any worries or things bothering you at that moment, don't do it
. This was easily the most traumatizing event of my entire life, and I'm praying that time will bring my mind back to the way it was before this.
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