Citation: Jordal. "A Higher Consciousness: An Experience with Mescaline (exp83578)". Erowid.org. Apr 24, 2010. erowid.org/exp/83578
I wasn’t a spiritual person, I was skeptical if anything, but a foot of cactus changed everything.
I should first mention that I and everyone involved are moderate pot smokers, and that we had never tried any other hallucinogen apart from the person who suggested the idea.
I heard about Mescaline through a friend of mine. He described it as a life changing experience, and although I had never tried a hallucinogen before, I was hooked on the idea. He built the intensity of the trip up so high that I couldn’t believe it. I may have even swung to ingesting it just out of sheer disbelief of his experience. I was completely wrong.
We trekked to the city to buy Mescaline at a small hippy store. It cost us $30Aus for each foot of the plant. Just to point out, the store we brought it from was selling the cactus for “growing purposes only”, and even though the owner and I knew that’s not what it was there for, it was a legal technicality. We immediately took the cactus home to prepare.
The preparation of this cactus was extremely hard work. We had three foot between four of us. The preparation involved first skinning the cactus, then cutting out the core, cutting the rest into cucumber size pieces and finally freezing it. It took a total of about 2 hours. Once letting it freeze, we started to put individual pieces into a bowl then mashing and cutting them up. The idea was to mash all of it up, then filter through a cloth (we used an old singlet) then repeating till no more liquid came from the solid. After a solid 2 hours work we got about 1800ml of green liquid out of three foot of cactus (600ml = 1ft).
Ingesting cactus could have possibly been one of the most unpleasant times of my life. We sat in the backyard with a cup each of the disgusting green liquid and a 2 liter bottle of apple juice to remove the taste. The apple juice did not help. Nothing we did to combat the taste of mescaline worked. The trick was to open your throat and let it slide down without you tasting it, otherwise it was hell. We soon learnt that using straws placed at the back of your mouth worked quite well. Trying not to gag or throw up was the hardest of it all. Me and one friend were able to ingest close to 500ml, whereas my girlfriend and another friend were only able to down about 200ml, with fair reason. They resorted to smoking bud to intensify their trip.
For the next hour after ingesting we all felt incredibly nauseous. I closed my eyes and powered through it. Once it started to kick in I felt incredibly “on to it”. I looked at everything with an understanding that it was changing. Everything around me started to slightly sway. At this point I think we chose to walk down to the store. I cannot remember what we did down there for the life of me, apart from being scared of going into a lift and that the toilets were extremely bright. People also kind of freaked us out.
Arriving back home, about an hour and a half after ingesting the cactus, we considered trying to drink more as we weren’t feeling anything too intense, but the sight of it was disgusting. We sat outside looking at things and listening to music until one of us got up to throw up. As soon as he came back outside he had this intense look on his face, and all he could say was “you have to throw up!” So we did.
I had a completely empty stomach, so throwing up was hard. I had to force it, and I was gagging a lot. As soon as it happened, I tripped fucking balls. A wave of intense pleasure came over me as I was leaning over the toilet and I stared into the tiled floor, watching all the different elements bend and fold over into itself. I made my way outside with the biggest smile I’ve pulled in my life. From this point in, everything was amazing. The nausea was covered with waves of mescaline. These waves came consistently without fail, each one hitting us all at the same time. I sat outside, watching the brick wall eat itself. The fence had rain hitting it, which morphed into different faces. One of us went inside and called us in, he was holding a blanket, which we all immediately collapsed into. He then said “Do whatever you want in the house, enjoy yourself, everyone be happy.” We messed around with our trip, looking at different things, moving paintings around the house, controlling the movement of the carpet. Then shit got real.
One of us decided to sit on the arm chair of the couch as we sat outside to have a smoke. We looked at him as he spoke, visualizing everything he said. Then, all at the same time, noticed what he was, or more so, what he wasn’t sitting on. He had his legs crossed, knees at a ninety degree angle, and tricked himself into sitting on nothing. He had missed the couch arm and was instead sitting on air, with a bit of his leg touching the side of the couch. He tricked his own mind into believing the couch was there when it wasn’t, he accidently manipulated the energy of the couch with his mind. He then proceeded to try walk on air, which failed. It showed that he couldn’t consciously manipulate energy like that. At this point everyone enveloped themselves in our own thought processes. All that came from each of us was mutterings and realizations. I understood that Mescaline was a form of opening your mind and using more than 10% of your brain power. Past the point of 10% I believed (and still do) that things are meant to be seen as you do on mescaline, or even more than mescaline. At the point mescaline took us too, we could accidently and subconsciously manipulate the energy of anything around us, and if we were to harness even more brain power, we could consciously manipulate energy around us. I understood that nothing is real and everything is the same. Everything is energy. Nothing makes us different from a chair apart from our consciousness. I stood up, took off my shoes and stared into the clouds and let the rain hit me.
Later on, after we tripped more, we decided to try going outside the house, but we didn’t get past the driveway. I instead came back with a dirty mop I had named Nathan. The outside world was a scary place from this point on. Someone knocked on the door and I immediately ran outside and hid behind a plant, I was extremely frightened. Someone managed to deal with the person outside and they then left us alone. The four of us were in our own little world, that no one was allowed or deserved to invade. We four had stumbled upon something amazing within ourselves and each other. We all started to feel extremely close to each other, and decided to instead of make use of all this space around us, huddle into a corner of the room with the back door open and lie down blankets and pillows. It was our monster pile. From our monster pile I started to see the aura’s of everyone around me. One was green, one was yellow with a red overlay, one was crystal and I was blue. Everything had a purple and indigo tinge to it, the meaning of a higher consciousness. We felt and shared each others aura’s, and witnessed one of us touch on bliss and enlightenment. Watching her do it was unbelievable, she glowed and looked truly happy. From that point she could control the flow of her aura. All of us were seeing the exact same thing. All our trips became the same. It became more than a trip, it was a realization, we reached a higher plateau of consciousness, and our minds had been exposed to extremely vivid and real happenings that couldn’t be dismissed as an “intense trip”. It was more than that. We then watched the stars distort and change colour and distance, then slept.
So much happened that I haven’t been able to account for it all. What my realizations were was the most important part of it. I, along with who I was with, feel more enlightened than others that we pass on the street. Other people are more confusing. Other people tend to scare me. Other people don’t always make much sense. I’m closer to the three people I shared the experience with more than I ever have. To do this with the three people I did was perfect. After Mescaline, I feel that I understand the world that little bit better, enough to understand more and change for the better. I became a better person, and understand the inner linings of others much better. Occasionally I will feel others energy’s and try to emit my own or absorb theirs. I cannot explain Mescaline any better, and this is still far off from its true meaning and intensity. I can only suggest that you go into it with a real desire to change and explore yourself and the world, but to not ignore the intense visualizations and feelings either, as it contrasts perfectly with your mind state.
I don’t know when I’ll do it again; I haven’t been able to decide for sure. It’s something so significant to me that I’d regret trivializing the cactus into anything other than what it was. Mescaline wasn’t a drug, it was a journey.
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