Citation: Blake. "Interesting but Intense: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) & Cannabis (exp83846)". Erowid.org. Nov 22, 2020. erowid.org/exp/83846
After an evening of relaxing with my wife and our pets at home vaporizing some cannabis, I decided it was time to try my luck with a truly mind altering experience. At the time of the dosing and its subsequent reporting, I am 25 years old.
My wife was a reluctant sitter - I've been researching psychedelics for about six months now and voraciously reading every book or experience report on a whole variety of substances. My wife who I love very much had bad associations with Psychedelics from her high-school years, so it took some haranguing and bribing but with the wifess blessing I purchased 1g of 10x standardized extract from an online source.
I am generally a happy person, I used to get intense bouts of depression a few times a year but since I met my (now) wife several years ago those have disappeared. The day had been a little challenging with a small fight with the wife in the morning and a relaxing a leisurely afternoon, overall I was in a very good mood.
Lights were dimmed or covered with handkerchiefs, tribal flute music playing softly from the laptop on the tan ottoman, I turned the visualizer on and made it full screen just before initial dose.
At about 9pm on a Saturday night I took a very small pinch of the dried extract and loaded it into the bowl of my first bong (purchased for the occasion). Using a torch lighter (also purchased for the occasion) I vaporized the bowl and held the smoke in for maybe 20 seconds. It was a medium sized hit. I immediately set the pipe down and lay down on one of the couches, my eyes fixed on the ceiling. I was apprehensive but excited, and after lying there for about 60 seconds I glanced at the laptop, the visualizer had taken on a slight 3d element, it appeared that the colored shapes were sticking out of the screen just a little bit, like it was modifying the texture of the screen, but beyond that everything else was normal. After another 30 seconds I realized that I hadn't taken enough to break the threshold. Using the same bowl, I relit it and took a larger amount of smoke into my lungs. This time I held it for maybe 30 seconds and as soon as I felt my vision start to jitter I exhaled.
Effects were immediate and enjoyable, I'd put my experience somewhere between level 1 and 2 with all walls and objects taking on molten texture, I was still very aware of my surroundings and went around to all 4 of our animals asking them if they had anything to say to me. That part is my personality, not the Salvia - Really at this point the world felt a little altered but I was entirely aware of my surroundings and in control, which contrasts sharply with my next re-dose.
While I was still feeling the effects of the first dose, and maybe 5 minutes from the initial dose I repacked a slightly larger bowl, still just a pinch though. Using the torch lighter I milked all of it this time and took a very large hit. I placed the pipe on the table and lay down on the couch, after about 40 seconds I exhaled and opened my eyes
My wife was sitting on the couch opposite me, looking a little concerned but mostly amused and then it was as if the scene laid out before more (My wife on the couch) was just a moving image that I was watching like one would watch a movie projected on the wall, except instead of being made up of objects and individuals and structures, the whole scene was built with hands that moved, changed color, etc. as the scene changed.
I've struggled to find the right words to explain it because the utter weirdness is difficult to fathom.
Think of a computer monitor, the images and symbols that you're reading right now don't really exist as 'real' things, but rather they are larger images created by complex and shifting arrays of pixels. My experience was similar to that, if instead of pixels they were hands (same behavior though, changing color and arrangement to display the correct picture) and instead of 2-D images conveying only height and width to the viewer, I was seeing real life being rendered before my eyes in true 3-D.
Then all the hands let go of each other and the scene went out of focus, all of my focus was on the universe of hands. I realized that my whole life and everything I or anyone had ever cared about was just a complex impression created by the hands and that all of the time and effort I had put into building a life was really for nothing since the hands had decided they were done with my story. During this part I felt separated from my body but I was later told I was in fact moving.
After about 30 seconds (which seemed like at least 20 minutes when I thought reality had ceased to be) the hands seemed to get back to work and the scene started reforming, it still felt like my vision wouldn't focus on the scene, instead choosing to show me very clearly the hands. Going back to the movie theater analogy the best way to describe it is watching a movie at the theater, but focusing so hard on the projection screen and all of the scratches and details on it that you don't pay any attention at all to the movie being projected on it.
The last interesting (and frustrating) effect from this dose was while the world was still out of focus whenever I tried to get up (and I was trying pretty hard) It was like I was sending out clones of myself who peeled off from my body and did whatever I intended to do while I lay there unable to move.
The 2nd time lasted about 3 minutes and felt like about a half hour, I came out of it slightly bewildered and very happy that reality is not made of hands, or if it is they seem to do their job reliably except when I take salvia ;) For the next hour (at which point we went to bed) I felt fantastic, very invigorated and euphoric, that feeling carried over when I woke up until I ate at around 10. It felt (and feels) good to be alive, Salvia was and wasn't what I expected and I have since gingerly re-dosed (to level 1 effects).
It took me about a week to be able to arrange my thoughts in a way that I could explain it to my wife and I think she appreciates that it's not something I'm likely to get addicted to (her primary concern based on previous relationships). I wouldn't describe my experience with salvia as a good or a bad thing really, while it was difficult at the time I feel like I've had a breakthrough in being forced to rationalize my fears because, in the big picture of things, my petty fears aren't that bad when compared against non-existence, and even non-existence on a physical level isn't that bad once you get used to it, which I was able to do.
I anticipate further explorations in this area, as I feel I have more to learn from psychedelics in general about myself and the nature of our existence.
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