DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

My fiance had smoked marijuana before I met him, but had to stop due to drug tests. A few months after we started dating, we decided to give it a try.

The first time we did it together, we had amazing talks about God, our relationship, and many other things spiritually related. We were so happy that the marijuana helped us think about these things, so from then on we smoked every day. Each day we tried to revive those talks, but after about a month they ended. Our days were spent at our friend's house smoking all day, and any money we got was spent on marijuana. Soon we started forgetting our convictions, doing things just because they felt good. We started flirting with other people, getting in terrible fights involving hitting and threatening each other, and so on. We had daily morning fights where after smoking the night before, I would wake up extremely sensitive , and he would wake up extremely irritable. This was a terrible mix--I would be on the floor weeping because his anger was scaring me and he would be screaming at me and telling me that I was useless and pathetic. I became afraid to cry around him because he would always yell at me for it.

Our relationship was never like this before we started smoking pot. I started to realize what pot was doing to us, so I would beg him not to smoke because I did not want to fight anymore. I have always been close to God, and since we started dating he became close to Him to, but during this time we did not even talk about God like we used to, we did not have enlightening conversations or pray together at night, none of it.

One day, we happened upon some acid. We were very excited and decided to do it the next night. The trip was beautiful, and we did not smoke pot on it because none was available at the time. At the peak of the trip I remembered how I had been flirting with other people (we did not know about each other doing this). I was suddenly overtaken with guilt. Terrified that I would go into a bad thought loop, I grabbed him and said 'I have to tell you something...I'm so sorry...' And I got it off my chest. He started crying, and said that he had been doing the same thing as well. He said he knew it was wrong and he even felt guilty while doing it, but he couldn't resist it--he just wanted to feel wanted. We decided then that pot was evil, and that we could not have any part in it.

Since then, we have tried to make pot work for us, but have failed each time (thankfully not as bad as the first time). A trip has always seemed to remind us that it is not for us. We have gone from thinking it is evil, to just not for us , but the point we're at right now is that we already know for sure it's not our thing, if it's other people's thing, then let them be--if it's not, they'll find out for themselves hopefully.

One couple we are friends with recently ended their 3 year relationship over marijuana, and a couple that we consider our best friends is very close to that point right now. They saw it almost happen to us, and I really hope that helps them.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 84344
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jul 9, 2019	Views: 451
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Cannabis (1) : Hangover / Days After (46), Relationships (44), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)