DOSE:	1 hit	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)
	1 hit	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

Myself and two friends agreed to try salvia last night. None of them had tried it before, and I had tried 25x salvia before with no effect, so myself (being a little skeptical, as well as the one actually purchasing the salvia) decided to go with a higher potency, and purchased 40x at the closest tobacco shop this morning. We got back to the house I'm currently staying at at around 12pm, excited, and a little nervous.

Myself being the only person in the group with experience in psychedelic substances is nominated to go first (I have no objections). I fill the bowl of my water pipe with the salvia and collect my thoughts. I spark the lighter and hold it to the dark leaves, inhaling lightly until I heard the tell-tale sizzle of a beat bowl. I pull the slide out, hold for as long as I can, and exhale slowly. I remember leaning back into my friend's couch, and looking up at the crease where the wall met the ceiling, and that was when it began...

The line appeared to stand alone for a moment, floating in clear, white space. Then it doubled, quadrupled, and then an infinite amount, mesmerizing me, and causing me to do what I can only describe as blacking out for less than a second. When I had 'come to', I was in a plain, wide void. The room I was in was gone. I was in a white void, spanning in all directions with no end. I was in a whole new reality. A new dimension. The bizarre thing is, I knew exactly what was going on in this void. I can't remember if it was a subconscious voice, telling me what was happening, or a memory from another dimension. Whatever it was, I knew what was happening. It was armageddon. Not just the end of the world, the end of existence. Matter. Color. Thoughts. Emotions all gone. Swallowed by the void. And it was still hungry.

When I began this trip, I was seated on a couch. I remained seated for the duration, but it didn't feel like it. I felt as though I was in a classic 'superman' pose, arms in front on me, legs being sucked backward into the abyss. I was clawing, crawling, and trying to call out to anyone who might still exist. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw something. A box. Spinning into frame and stopping suddenly in the center of the void, unaffected by the g-forces that have clearly devoured everything else.

Not a box, a room missing one of its walls so that I could see into it. My friend's room. The wall missing is the wall that the couch I was sitting on was placed against. I begin clawing and trying to drag myself towards the room, as they all stare at me (I felt a strong feeling of abandonment here, as I felt as though they saw what was happening to me, but refused to help.) I finally managed to drag myself onto the floor of the room, and instantly began begging for them to help me, or trying to at least. My words dribbled out of my mouth and dripped off my chin.

Finally, reality began to set in. I felt the wall close behind me, and I remember trying to ask my friends things like 'you mean it's not real?', and 'wait, so I'm okay? I can stay here?' then, I just snapped back to reality, and was fine. To me, the reason salvia was so different than other psychedelics I've taken, was a mixture of it's fast reaction time (almost immediate), the way it doesn't just alter what I perceived, it threw me into a whole new world all together, and its ability to make me completely forget that I was on it. It's almost like a dream while being conscious.

So after I came down, everyone else did their dosage until we had only a small amount left. Me and a friend decided to split the remaining amount. I figured now that I knew what to expect I would be prepared, right? Wrong. I sit on my friend's bed this time, hoping the change in location would change my mindset, and give me a new experience. I load up the water pipe, burn, sizzle, and exhale. I feel a wave or two shoot up my spine. I try to focus. Don't let it take over. I can still taste it, and the taste makes me think of my first trip. I look up and say, 'it's that taste again', and as the last word disappeared into the air, so did reality.

Instantly I feel the pulling again, only this time things are different. I'm still in the room this time. This time I getting pulled down into the bed. I begin laughing uncontrollably, but I am terrified but am unable to express it because I can't stop laughing. I'm almost in a lying position, but I'm holding myself up with my elbow, to fight the pulling. I look down at my elbow to see what was pulling me, and I instantly became more terrified.

You know how the landscape looks when you look down from an airplane? Imagine a pop-up book like that, but all the pieces popping up are solid squares of earth tones. Now, imagine being in the crease of that book as someone began to slowly close it, grinding up everything. I begin to laugh harder, and I don't want to. I reach out to my friends and beg them to help me. They don't. I'm still laughing. They think I'm enjoying myself, when I am, in reality, scared out of mind. I feel as though some entity, some all-mighty being is forcing me to laugh. It knows I want to cry out, and it's forcing me to laugh as I am slowly ground up. I remember, the entire trip, I felt a strong feeling of anger. Not myself, I wasn't angry. I felt as if the world around me was very angry. Then I remembered 'I smoked salvia. I'm on salvia. I can stop this.' bad idea. As soon as I thought that, the deity became a lot angrier, and the pull got stronger.

I kept repeating in my head 'I can control this. I can stop this.' with my free hand I grabbed onto the sheet, and pulled up with all my might until I could see my friends' faces, and as soon as I could, I was released. The angry deity had let me go. The trip was over. I remember feeling a strong connection between the taste of the salvia, and the angry grinder. Something about everything being ground up for food or something.

Although both experiences left me terrified, I am thankful for them, and I do plan on doing salvia again in the future. I'm still trying to figure out if there was any subconscious/psychological meaning behind my experience.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 84556
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Dec 7, 2022	Views: 240
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), Mystical Experiences (9), Entities / Beings (37), Small Group (2-9) (17)