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My Journey From Afterglow to Negative Crash
Citation:   Faerie Dust . "My Journey From Afterglow to Negative Crash: An Experience with MDMA (exp84629)". Erowid.org. May 19, 2019. erowid.org/exp/84629

120 mg oral MDMA
I am currently suffering from the crashing effects of MDMA. A couple of nights ago was the first time I took MDMA in 4 years.

My very first MDMA trip, and several trips after, I always had an 'afterglow' for about a day or two after taking MDMA. I seemed to suffer from no negative effects. I loved MDMA and the first experience especially was one of the most profound and therapeutic experiences of my life. I opened up so much in a real (not artificial) way, I cried and admitted my feelings of love for the people I was close to, I came out of my shell a bit and felt such immense happiness.
I came out of my shell a bit and felt such immense happiness.
I strongly believe MDMA could be used as a therapeutic tool for those who find it hard to open up, in a healthy way, themselves.

I had done the research, I knew of MDMA's potential negative effects on the body (or brain rather, although I knew this information was highly controversial), so, although MDMA was by far my favorite drug, I stuck with things a little less harsh on the body for the most part. I did MDMA every blue moon and always felt positive and warm to people for about the 2 days after coming down. I just felt like I think I normally should, like a well-adjusted happy individual.

However, I am writing this now because for the first time I am feeling many negative effects after coming down from MDMA. The day immediately after I took MDMA I was still in a mostly positive and chipper mood, but I noticed I was incredibly exhausted (even though I was able to go to sleep fine after about a 6 hour trip and slept a full 9 hours that morning).

Today is the second day after my come down from MDMA and I am feeling highly irritable, incredibly lazy (I didn't go to my college class today) and, at times, I feel the desire to repeat the MDMA experience again to just have that happy feeling again. I think I am mildly depressed hence the irritability and laziness so I'm relying on other milder substances (cannabis, a few glasses of wine last night and 1 Klonopin, which could also contribute to the hangover) than MDMA to help get me through the MDMA crash. Cannabis works pretty well with the crash, although I am noticing some fuzziness of vision and some difficulty concentrating a bit, not too severely, but I'm starting to get an idea of the toll MDMA can take on my body.
I'm starting to get an idea of the toll MDMA can take on my body.

I should mention that I infrequently use E and from the first time I tried it (when I was 18) until now (I'm 26), I've probably taken a total of 20-25 hits of E during that span of time. This is the first time I am experiencing the negative crash as opposed to the 'afterglow' effect or just feeling back to normal with no negative effects. My opinion is that E is not something to be taken lightly, as it does take a toll on your body and I imagine in time, with frequent use, could do quite a bit of damage. However, the first experiences using E can be very beautiful, profound, life-changing, therapeutic and enlightening (and continue to put one in a very, very good mood/state of mind several experiences after).

I'm not a doctor and I have no idea really of whether or not MDMA is truly harmful to the body, but I think it's safe to say that it's not something that should be used frequently. That's only an opinion though, I don't have the knowledge to say for sure.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 84629
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: May 19, 2019Views: 746
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MDMA (3) : Hangover / Days After (46), Retrospective / Summary (11), Unknown Context (20)

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