DOSE:

120 mg

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

I am currently suffering from the crashing effects of MDMA. A couple of nights ago was the first time I took MDMA in 4 years.

My very first MDMA trip, and several trips after, I always had an 'afterglow' for about a day or two after taking MDMA. I seemed to suffer from no negative effects. I loved MDMA and the first experience especially was one of the most profound and therapeutic experiences of my life. I opened up so much in a real (not artificial) way, I cried and admitted my feelings of love for the people I was close to, I came out of my shell a bit and felt such immense happiness. I strongly believe MDMA could be used as a therapeutic tool for those who find it hard to open up, in a healthy way, themselves.

I had done the research, I knew of MDMA's potential negative effects on the body (or brain rather, although I knew this information was highly controversial), so, although MDMA was by far my favorite drug, I stuck with things a little less harsh on the body for the most part. I did MDMA every blue moon and always felt positive and warm to people for about the 2 days after coming down. I just felt like I think I normally should, like a well-adjusted happy individual.

However, I am writing this now because for the first time I am feeling many negative effects after coming down from MDMA. The day immediately after I took MDMA I was still in a mostly positive and chipper mood, but I noticed I was incredibly exhausted (even though I was able to go to sleep fine after about a 6 hour trip and slept a full 9 hours that morning).

Today is the second day after my come down from MDMA and I am feeling highly irritable, incredibly lazy (I didn't go to my college class today) and, at times, I feel the desire to repeat the MDMA experience again to just have that happy feeling again. I think I am mildly depressed hence the irritability and laziness so I'm relying on other milder substances (cannabis, a few glasses of wine last night and 1 Klonopin, which could also contribute to the hangover) than MDMA to help get me through the MDMA crash. Cannabis works pretty well with the crash, although I am noticing some fuzziness of vision and some difficulty concentrating a bit, not too severely, but I'm starting to get an idea of the toll MDMA can take on my body.

I should mention that I infrequently use E and from the first time I tried it (when I was 18) until now (I'm 26), I've probably taken a total of 20-25 hits of E during that span of time. This is the first time I am experiencing the negative crash as opposed to the 'afterglow' effect or just feeling back to normal with no negative effects. My opinion is that E is not something to be taken lightly, as it does take a toll on your body and I imagine in time, with frequent use, could do quite a bit of damage. However, the first experiences using E can be very beautiful, profound, life-changing, therapeutic and enlightening (and continue to put one in a very, very good mood/state of mind several experiences after).

I'm not a doctor and I have no idea really of whether or not MDMA is truly harmful to the body, but I think it's safe to say that it's not something that should be used frequently. That's only an opinion though, I don't have the knowledge to say for sure.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 84629
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: May 19, 2019	Views: 746
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MDMA (3) : Hangover / Days After (46), Retrospective / Summary (11), Unknown Context (20)