Citation: G Spleefland. "Plastic Molten Cosmic Bliss: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (extracts & leaves) & Cannabis (exp84869)". Erowid.org. Jul 26, 2010. erowid.org/exp/84869
I rolled two joints, using equal parts crumbled Cannabis buds and half of my brand new gram of Salvia 20x concentrate... I was still halfway through my second puff when I realized my vision was dissolving. I tried to snuff the joint but the ashtray melted, I became the joint, I was lying in the ashtray, which was like a plant, everything seemed plantlike in structure, myself, the bed, the ashtray, the joint, all morphosizing and merging into one another like a Dali phantasm, and I was sweating like I was in a steam-room...
I tried to snuff out the joint, thinking 'I guess that was enough' when the coal scorched my finger and I panicked-I could FEEL the adrenaline flood into my brain, instantly restoring focus-'Stuff won't fucking go out!' I whisper-yelled, grinding the joint furiously into my pipe's bowl-The physical sensation of gravity became intense, like I was an enormous metal statue, and I laughed out loud... My laughter increased when I jumped up off the bed and went toward the window and my vision and entire AWARENESS seemed to become STUCK on the bed, a stretching ectoplasmic tentacle slowly sucking back toward my physical body.
I began pacing around the small room, considering the magnitude of this plant's powers-I was not only psychedelically high, and insanely paranoid, and completely tripping, I was truly HALLUCINATING-All sensory percetions were warping and merging in ways I couldn't even begin to understand. My vision had stopped stretching apart from my mind, but now I noticed strange greenish metallic electrical energies flowing through my limbs-The concept of LEFT versus RIGHT seemed utterly strange and mesmerizing-The formerly jesting, conversational voices on the radio sounded like they were on trial for their very sanity.
I smoked my second Cannabis/Salvia-20x reefer in the middle of the night, again alone-The sweat absolutely sponged out of me almost immediately, and I got the fear that I'd 'Licked the brightest beam in the rainbow' - the quite possible idea that this must be the strongest hallucinogen in nature, but warped by this new, plant-like consciousness... I wondered why nobody had warned me...
The heat was getting to me, and my knitted shirt felt harsh on my sweating skin. The simple act of yanking this rather heavy shirt and my jeans off was accompanied by the most bizarre biofeedback-type sensations, like looping coils of electric metal wire twisting and contracting in black space (my eyeball vision had faded again to near zero), filling my mind's eye, which now morphosized into an inner view of my brain, resembling the inside of a mouth, and the sensation of LICKING the hollow, palate-like pink structures as I used the various nodules of my lizard brain to move my 'robot' limbs and trunk around... Hysterical amusement filled me at these new, strange sensations...
Then intense lethargy flooded my brain, my sense of a 'self' reduced to nearly nothing, and I could suddenly sense the complete isolation of my laughter, of my entire EXISTENCE, here in this tiny room, surrounded by the infinite blackness of the cosmic void-Suddenly all I had in the world was this angelic electric lamp, and this squawking, unintelligible radio, as my companions-Aside from these, I was alone, and I felt a creeping fear set in, but this faded away as the amnesiac lethargy increased to near immobility, and I sank to the bed like I'd been darted... I could almost feel my awareness seem to rise out of my immobilized body, which seemed weightless, and yet felt like it weighed a thousand tons, sinking into the bedspings. Evey object took on a heavy, steely mass. Things seemed taller, depth perception was seemingly quadrupled, and my skeleton seemed to be made out of metal, with foam rubber skin over it.
Just smoked Salvia again, and it completely unzipped my head-It really does seem twice as intense with each successive trip-Like climbing an immense staircase-I can't believe I was actually worried the hamburger and cigarette I'd had earlier might 'block the high'-HA!-I doubt if even a shot of thorazine could block that rush of intensity... This was my first experience using Salvia alone (not combined with Cannabis). I had the TV on, and I wanted music, but the only thing playing was 'All Right Now' by the 70s band Free-Not one of my favorite songs, but better than infomercials, so I left in on-I packed my one-hitter and blasted a hit...
My vision faded as simultaneously every perception was literally bent, starting at the edges, under the force of some new, internal gravity-I became intensely paranoid about the pipe somehow starting a fire, though it was completely cashed, striving to set it in a ceramic bowl on the coffee table even as my vision warped and faded and twisted into strands of melting, bending rubber-It felt like some intensely powerful force was literally gripping the edges of my total perceptive reality, attempting to rip the the lid off my mind, or as if my mind was being peeled, and divided like an orange, and then actually turned inside out-My visual cortex was continuing to divide into millions of these weird strands, like concentric stripes, which warped at the edges and became warped by a vast sucking sideways gravity-The intense gravity was accompanied by a deep electric feeling in my body
But now sudden confusion annihilated everything-I had no idea what I was doing-All subjective reality fled, and I was left completely at the herb's mercy... Intense waves of fear took hold of my psyche-I felt I'd made some gross error-Somebody should've warned me about this-I actually could not remember that I'd smoked Salvia before-For all I knew in those moments, I'd never even heard of it before today-I wondered why my father had never warned me of this stuff. I had a weird, completely false notion that I'd 'discovered' the plant in my parents's bedroom, and partaken of it like some Forbidden Fruit I was still too young to handle properly, though in reality the first time I smoked it (nonconcentrated leaves) was with my dad-he'd said he hardly felt anything; I'd experienced only a mild, stony buzz-But this was an entirely new experience, blowing away even my intense trip a few days ago
Basically, it temporarily annihilated my normal sense of self-I had no conception in these initial minutes that this plant was totally safe, or that the effects were temporary-I feared it had actually warped my psyche irreversibly-My mind searched in vain for some explanation as to what might be happening to me-This must be the plant's defense mechanism-Again I almost panicked: Why hadn't my mom and dad warned me about this?-Again I seemed to appreciate whilst under this trance that I'd 'licked the yellow band of the rainbow', and that this was simply too much for my awareness...
Surely I must be dying... I felt like I'd already died and was entering the Dreaming forever-I realized this had to be a dream, and yet I knew I was awake-That left only one option-The real world, the world I lived in and knew and loved ans hated and cursed every day, was some kind of weird dream, not really 'real' at all-A completely directed, construced plastic dream set up for me by God and my father and mother, a collossal illusion I'd been obliviously wrapped up in for as long as I could remember at the moment (in a state of partial amnesia, as I later realized), a safe, comfortable illusion, which I feared was now finally, irreversibly dissolving...
I stared at the TV, unable to accept this information coming from my own, seemingly logical awareness... 'All Right Now' seemed to be endlessly repeating the chorus, with an ever increasing sense of hilarious, ecstatic intensity-And I had the unmistakeable impression the singer was talking to ME, trying to tell me I was all right, and yet at the same time laughing at my weakness of mind-I couldn't for the life of me understand how to interpret the way I was feeling. Everything had this striped, banded appearance, as if the world were made of flattened tubes stuck together at the edges-Again I had the sense I'd eaten the 'forbidden fruit'-Panic, confusion, and awe were rushing down on me in vast tidal waves as the chorus continued ad nauseum-The video was full of flat tube shapes, and this proved that everything, even what was on TV, was now specially directed at me, and me alone.
I changed the channel with the now immensely magical-seeming remote control-But every image the flat screen (the 'tube') displayed contained those flat tube shapes, and I didn't want to see any more of those-'Give me something without those fucking tubes!' I nearly shouted, bursting out laughing as our cat Magic suddenly looked up, startled from her nap-She was looking at me as if I'd lost my mind (which I temporarily had)... I now came back to sanity enough to know I was hallucinating, and that my perceptions were being warped by the Salvia.
Every TV channel was talking specifically to me, telling me things I didn't want to hear and couldn't understand-Every random phrase held an obvious, specific meaning, directed at me alone-This had to be a fucking dream-Suddenly I couldn't take it, and bolted for the front door, mild dizziness and the 'Salvia gravity' making it quite an effort-Standing up was difficult, so I sank to the floor-Our porch is seven steps up off the ground, with no roof-The noon summer sun was beating down with blinding intensity, but filtered through tall pine trees-I tried to say something like 'what the fucking shit is this?' but my mouth just produced twisted meaningless mumblings-I could hear the panic in my own voice.
I gave up trying to stand and lay on the bare pine board, rolling from side to side-This went on for only a few moments, I think-I stood up again, now drenched in sweat, and went back inside-The song was unbelievably still going, and the chorus was ecstatically exclaiming how awesome this trip was-I finally had to agree, feeling utterly crazy still but now starting to enjoy the ride-My mouth was filling with cactus-juice-tasting saliva, which I swallowed, thinking this might be my body's effort to flush the drug out of my system.
Then the next video came on-'A Touch of Grey' by the Grateful Dead-I knew they were telling me I'd get through this, I'd would survive, but the fear was intense-'It's a lesson', Jerry intoned, and I began to sing along-Harmonizing seemed to be a bit more challenging, and a much more awesome ability as well. Strangely, this entire song seemed to pass by in a matter of thirty seconds or a minute-The intensity was leveling off some now, and my comfortable, familiar surroundings began to seem safe and normal again, though waves of awe-struck, weird thoughts continued spilling through my brain-I suddenly realized that my entire 'self' was merely an idea-A safe, comfortable idea of mine, a feeling, and that whenever this familiar comfort zone was removed, I become afraid-I realized how alien the concept of right and left must be to plants, which radiate outward from a central point-This plant is immensely enlightening, taking one to realms entirely beyond our mortal understanding-It's a different journey every time, and I can't wait to go there again.
I just recast my psyche once again with Salvia Divinorum and Cannabis Indica this morning. I was literally sleepwalking--Dreaming while awake... It's still echoing through my mind... This time, I smoked two hits of the Salvia 20x concentrated leaves, this time again mixed with Cannabis. I can't believe those idiots laughing at Salvia-it must be like a mental safety net that I don't have-What I get on the stuff is cosmic DNA-level revelations straight from the voice of God. Now, I'm not a christian, but I've always believed in God-I just logically, rationally saw that the universe (and especially animals) could in no way have 'just formed' by some cosmic accident-any more than dropping infinite marbles on a typewriter could ever conceivably write the Oxford English Dictionary 'by chance'-it could never happen-and yet when my thought patterns first BENT, then MELTED into one another like dripping paint and I could actually now HEAR this voice, a voice one normally only silently feels as a logical push, not only HEAR but FEEL it and SEE it, broadcasting into my left brain from on high like a six billion jiggawatt radio tower, pinning me to the ground, now literally shaking with death fear, it made me feel completely INSANE!!!
The voice spoke absolute truths about existence and love and light and gravity and death and sin-I begged to be released from the grip of this vast boiling machine that was now my brain-the rising morning sunlight filtering in through the window actually seemed like thin orange paint-wretched satanic thoughts ('it's all meaningless,' etc.) were also beaming in, much weaker, from the right, and below, but attempting to imitate the style God was using. The difference between the two voices was obvious, however (I've always been good with voices-I can always tell when a famous actor does a commercial voiceover)... but once the paralyzing fear passed, I was left with all the insights learned-though in the depths of the trip I had a terrible fear that to do so would entirely destroy my mind-that if I remembered these revelations after the drug wore off, I'd never be able to return to 'normal life'...
Suddenly I couldn't take it-I was in a blind panic-I needed escape-I had a vision of happy mindless people dissolving these thoughts with alcoholic liquor-I ran to the fridge and opened it, with a vague intention of getting a beer-But I saw the red and white Reddi Whip can and grabbed it instead-I huffed a huge blast of the nitrous oxide, holding it in as long as I could with my heart going ten billion miles per second-I wanted sedation-Oblivion, God, please-But the gas now seemed to do practically nothing, just barely taking the heaviest edge off this intense mindfuck...
Now, in the clear light of sanity, I feel these same insights are extremely beneficial... I feel like my ego and the outer layers of my psyche went dead asleep while the plant brain at the core hooked up straight into DNA/plant/eve type consciousness and beyond-So there is no single, specific 'trip' or 'effect' of a psychedelic substance such as Salvia... As Aldous Huxley said, when the doors of perception are opened, one is put in direct contact with the subconscious... Salvia can shred my psyche on a mental cheese grater at 1,000 miles per hour and toss it out the window-I can be reduced to Primal Man, the revelations of the Apocrypha can crack down on my head...I just happen to enjoy those kinds of sensations, but that's because (at least some of the time) I was a fucking LUNATIC as early as nine years old-Schizophrenic, obsessive, compulsive, paranoid, delusional, hypochondriac, semiautistic, and just plain CRAZY... So a little psychic cheese-grater action is just perfect for me, if you know what I'm saying-I needed it.
I smoked a good dose of the Mix (Cannabis and Salvia) and walked down the hall. The house morphosized into the Ark as I retrieved my can of Mountain Dew from the spot on the bookshelf where I'd left it in another world... I went out onto the ancient wooden porch, into the blinding midday light of the Garden of Eden-Crows squawking in the towering pine trees announced my exit from the ark-But I was not 'me' anymore at all-I was inside a plant-I tall, old tree which can move itself slowly about on it roots, my trunk draped in tattered denim... I was very old in this trip, a very old tree indeed-I'd been here since the dawn of time (1997), and even witnessed the construction of the ark, even longer epochs ago yet...
But the sun was pouring into me, rejuvenating me with its intense energy-The plants sitting in their pots spoke to me, told me they were going to show me how it's done... And seemingly without the slightest sense of free-will (though I was doing exactly what I'd planned), I slowly sat down on the wooden bench beside the orange tomato plant, symmetrically kicked off the ancient leather sandles, and fully BECAME a plant in the sun there, the croaking crow now seeming to perch on my achingly distant right shoulder....
The idea of the psychedelic molecule salvinorin as some kind of defense mechanism the species produces, a means of confusing, and scaring away anything which might try eating it, was in the forefront of my mind as I blasted a hit sitting in front of the TV. This of course is the type of idea which the persecutors of psychedelic drugs would instinctively cling to, and I pushed it out of my mind. But it seems whatever is in my subconscious, whether bleeding in from the conscious or unconscious, influences the hallucinations Salvia produces. As I was engrossed in this consideration my vision was gone entirely, replaced by a strange gambling wheel of the mind, a full mind-screen image of a warlike whirling mushroom-headed plant Goddess in the style of Aztec reliefs, doing a shamanic dance and spinning like the Tasmanian Devil at 100 miles per second-Spinning me around with her, disorienting me...
Odd thoughts concerning my family, even other people, as 'the tribe' were my only 'conscious' thoughts save this crazy sensation of spinning out of control, and a shafeful feeling that I'd mocked the plant spirit, thinking of her like some 'devil weed' of crazy party 'shocker' gimmick-A joy buzzer of the mind or something-And the plant was warning me once again not to trifle with what I now knew I could barely understand.
Successive hits warped and blasted my vision into another bas-relief-type image-field of pure silver-bronze metallic light-Once again the world was the Garden, a primeval realm where God was VERY near-Again my self-awareness shrinks to that of a tribal unit-But I'm proudly (brandishingly) conscious of myself as a 'soldier' of God at leisure in the SCHOOL of the MIND. Suddenly I got the idea to try playing my drums whilst flying on Salvia-An awe-inspiring experience... I realized the two perceptions Salvia warps the most are gravity and time-Also the two primary concerns of drummers. As I knew they would feel especially enormous, I selected the biggest drum sticks I own (Vic Firth American Classic Metal), took a huge Salvia hit and held it... I was amazed at the wash of guilt-type feelings I experienced before slamming the sticks down and obliterating all thought in a world of pure gravitational pulse. I felt embarrassed to be doing something which OTHERS might hear-But I also KNEW music to be sacred, like the Salvia herself, from God and sacred, and FOR God.
I smoked several hits, mixed with Cannabis (the OTHER branch of the tree of knowledge), stood up, dancing like a geek to Beck's song 'Hotwax'-feeling like a strangely devilish robotic child, then walked around the room, feeling my terminator body's long femur bones working like stilts then my brain flooded with pure opioid lethargic amnesia-I completely lost track of who I was, whilst a jangle of atypical word-thought forms yammered through my brain, my consciousness became confused as to who had said each previous thought, thinking 'That wasn't me, who said that?... he said that,' and unfolding in my mind I saw myself from across the room, morphosizing younger in a kind of metal corridor... all could think was 'who is he?'... I was wearing a striped green shirt, and my hair was long-But only after the tranquilizing amnesia faded did I remember who 'I' was-whilst under the Salvia's spell I'd had no idea who I was, and thought of the man across the room as a 'Mexican' who was standing in a room I was nostalgic about because some groovy parties had gone down their with my 'chorifros' (my band, now ancient, nameless... (That odd word, 'chorifros' from the weird Beck lyrics, the chorus singing in Spanish, 'Yo soy un disco quebrado, yo tengo chicle'n mi cerebro!' bleeding right into my thoughts)
Each successive word-thought was dismissed as being 'not mine', but someone else's-then I'd create another word thought, and it would crystalize into the words of someone else, as I looked at my physical self in this picassoesque mind-mirror. I looked at my drums and they seemed like relics of times past-Everything was a vast storeroom in the Garden, and I was in its farthest, most desolate corner, where the most archaic creations of all time reposed... I shunted my metal-poles and cloth 'self' to the window and leaned on my elbow, gazing out, stunned and transfixed by my complete 'uselessness' and the annihilatingly unsung periphery of my existence-I was an object like a curtain hanging here at the window's side, my entire useless weight propped against this plywood wall.
Outside, the after-the-rain dimness was like a child's storybook forest, sectioned into an insectvision grid by the windowscreen, which loomed an inch from my eyeballs. Then I saw the rabbit. The rabbit was mottled whitish greyish brown-tiny, and poised to spring away. But it was looking right at ME, sniffing the air (I can still see those bifurcated pink nostrils pulsing with breath) and this rabbit was 'THE RABBIT'. It had that kind of power, the clarity of a revelation. I stared at it, awestruck, until my mind slowly bled back into reality, and I thought of the white rabbit from Lewis Carroll, and Jefferson Airplane... That must've been what I'd meant when I thought of it as 'The Rabbit'-I seriously had to stare at this rabbit for what felt like twenty minutes, basking in is supple, childlike beauty-It kept a wary eye on me as it nibbled from the tuft of grass beneath my window... I had to stare at the creature until I felt satisfied it was indeed REAL...
Then the amnesiac vision I'd had of myself from across the room, wearing the striped green shirt-NOW I could remember that it was me-And in the dream I'd been growing YOUNGER, which brought about changes in my facial form, not necessarily for the better or worse-I just CHANGED subtly over time (backward time) and my mind flooded with horror at the thought of people moving through time, leaving these old versions of themselves in these memory storage worlds ('stranded in infinity rooms', another apt lyric by Beck-A wave of sadness actually juiced diamondlike tears out of my eyes, as I realized that in this amnesiac state, wherein I'd had absolutely NO IDEA of WHO I WAS, and yet I was LOOKING at myself-or a version of myself that lives in my imagination based on who I might be in the mind's-eyes of thousands of eyes and minds I've seen seeing me and thought of thinking of me, and ideas of who I used to be, and who I might be in the future-In this state of WHO AM I ??? -Of complete existential confusion, I saw myself, and I wanted to BE that 'Mexican boy' (everyone IS a child on this stuff), I wanted to be alive, to have a self, and I fully SAW (can still see) how we wish for a future, every day, and God gives it to us-One creates a person, a self, in one's imagination, whom one wants to become, and we're given that gift, to make it REAL....
Tried reading whilst tripping on Salvia, but it was fucking IMPOSSIBLE-I literally was only capable of either staring at single words, in a kind of existential bewilderment (what in creation does 'THAN' mean, exactly?-It's like you're Clinton all the sudden). And when I'd try to normally scan the text like usual, my eyeballs actually tried to LICK the screen!!!-WHAT IN THE FUCK???-this sensation was a bit rough, like twin rubber erasers squeaking against the glowing glass, which seemed to be beaming straight from God. I'd try to lick these black angular lines of text, and my tongue moved in unison with my eyeballs.
This was the peak of the amnesiac freakout part of the trip... the entire concept of reading was as alien as..well, as alien as ANYTHING 'normal' you try doing on Salvia... Later, when I was back to normal, I tried reading the same page again, and realized that whilst tripping, I'd been seeing the screen in negative-That is, the yellowish green text on the black background had been hallucinogenically flipped, so that I actually SAW black text, on a background of greenish-yellow hue.... Weird Stuff....
Began thinking about the dream world whilst tripping, and I experienced an odd fear, as if to think consciously about dreams were the deadliest taboo, and might destroy me. Awe filled me as I realized my dream self IS my doppelganger-My spiritual, Siamese twin-With a life every bit as complex and rich as the waking one, though possibly smaller (lighter), or on a faster time track. I had a vision of my two selves, joined at the back, the 'waking me' pink, the 'dream me' black, their legs entwining infinitely like Plastic Man and stretching off into their dual time tracks which coiled and wove into the vast mirroring dimensional worlds.
I work at night, and I live close enough to walk. I decided just as I was grabbing my keys and a flashlight to smoke a small hit of Salvia. My memory-brain faded as I quickly stashed my extract and walked out into the wild dark dreaming night. My heels clanged like bowlegged pistons as I moved my body down the driveway, the intense rush making my peripheral vision vibrate. The flashlight's ectoplasmic beam slid down the road like a blue ghost tentacle, and I dazzled myself for minutes on end projecting huge rippling psychedelic shadows of my striding legs on the grey asphalt-The flamelike shadows danced along with me as I walked half a mile in what seemed like half a minute... By the time I got to work, I was pleasantly buzzed, and feeling quite a stony dreamlike feeling, gravity seemingly twice as powerful as normal.
I had just a sprinkle of the 20x concentrate left, so I held it in extra long-Soon my peripheral vision began to pulse and spin, and the intense electric rush metalized my entire world. A thick, heavy, translucent purple liquid flooded down from above into the room, flowing through me and warping my consciousness. I flicked my eyeballs about rapidly whilst staring at my globe and clock and some stacks of CDs, and the objects in view stuck to my viewscreen and stretched like chewing gum, snapping back into place, unable to keep up with the rapidly shifting focal point. I closed my eyes and my vision was replaced by an infinite black void, in all objects (my body included) were represented by simmering neon lines of energy. I was like a glowing skeleton, in a box-grid room. I leaned back on one elbow, and a sensation began like my body being sliced apart at the shoulder, by an electric knife which tingled intensely but produced no pain, moving through my flesh like a hot knife moving through butter.
I was in a horrible, awful mood, and I decided a hit of Salvia might put me on another mental track-And whatever it might do (the effect is startlingly different with each experience), it couldn't make me feel any worse than I already did. So I sat on my bed and blasted a hit, held it in quite a while. I felt my thought patterns melt and wash away under a leviathan tide of primeval ectopasmic holy cosmic ether. I lay back and looked up at the enormous ceiling, stunned and transfixed, utterly shocked to see that my sense of direction had been flipped, so that I now felt myself to be in the southwest corner of the house, rather than the northeast corner-And from the opposite corner, along the ceiling flowed an intense spiritual force which made me shake with fear. A heavy, existential rush shook my psyche and blurred my peripheral vision.
When I could sit up again, I felt like I was in Ancient Greece-Atlantis, or Mount Olympos itself. Every object I fixed my gaze upon SANK into my visual aspect, and the longer I looked the deeper it sank, or the more heavily my psychic hook hung upon the object, the original association linking to infinite branches. Again I realize this is the way I always think, but it seems so unbelievably delicious! I look at the electric lamp and my mind automatically reflects Promethean concepts-Fire, torch, candle, gaslights, neon, Franklin, electricity, Edison, human invention in general. I shifted my vision to the globe and my mind reflected the world, models, maps, planets-Each varicolored country is like a different flavor of icing on this global cake. Yes, the whole world is like a delicious, ancient cake, and to look upon something is to TASTE it and EAT of it with your mind, to sink your mental teeth into it.
I was staring at the TV, already flying, when I hit a second dose. Heavy lethargy froze me like a statue, and I lost access to my knowledge of my own and all other's personal histories and identities-I felt like I'd been stung by some giant paralyzingly venomous hornet. An instinctive voice again frantically reminded me to not forget the awful weirdness of this drug, to warn the others of the 'tribe', as an awesome, juddering ultrasonic energy began to vibrate my mind, coming up seemingly through the 'floor' under my brain in the right side of my head. These few minutes felt like an eternity. It was pleasurable yet almost unbearably intense, like a chainsaw revving inside my sensory consciousness.
I was dreading 24 hours in jail the next day. I smoked two big hits rapidly and my facial image in my mind's eye became a mask of iron cables which I used to produce 'expressions', the meanings of which were vague and entirely abstract. The cables which connected to two my broken, eroded front teeth I perceived to be rusty. This mask was all I was, all I could see, and I felt imprisoned. But I have true sight! I protested, and immediately my vision shifted to the cold flat view out of a cyclopean eye which clicked into place on a revolving disk-shaped part of my 'head'-I viewed the frozen physical objects before me with dead indifference, and this 'true sight' seemed only another hideous prison.
I felt a wave of claustrophobic panic-But I can breathe cool fresh air! I protested, and my awareness seemed to be 'swallowed' downward, and now I became nothing but a single dry, wheezing nostril, sucking hot, stale air endlessly, meaninglessly, into the cavern-like depths of a dry and parched esophagus-But see, I can swallow too! I said, and peristaltically gulping down a tickle of Salvia-flavored saliva with my dry, smoked-out throat became the only function of my existence... The Salvia was showing me what true imprisonment would be like-To be locked into a single sense organ, trapped, with no free will... When memory came flooding back in, the measly stretch of jail time no longer seemed the awful dread thing it had before. Thank you, Salvia.
First Salvia trip after the jail 'trip' (jail being probably the exact opposite of a psychedelic experience). I felt hot and tropical on this warm, late summer afternoon. I ghosted a nice dose of 20x. It felt like a reptile's long, cold-blooded tongue awoke and curled open, unfurling in my brain, licking its way downward as my mind shifted to a more primitive, ancient perspective.
Smoked a hit and held it a long time. An enormous slab of ectoplasmic gel began passing over me, first coating my right side with its warm, sticky surface, surrounding and enveloping me, slowly passing through the space I occupied, like warm butter melting over me, and moving along to the left....
I decided to smoke a hit before I went out in the sun. Electric ancient alien Ark-plant consciousness leaped into me, gazing about in ecstatic astral-projection jet-lag... The front porch was covered in softly shifting pine tree shadows, so I ran through the house and out the back door. I thought I could feel the presence shrink back in fear of the yellow dazzling direct sunlight, and as I pulled off my sweatshirt I thought I could feel the Salvia force leap from me to the shirt-I feared setting it down would entirely disconnect me from the force, so I held the shirt to me, telling the Plant not to fear the direct sun-I felt it must be my eyes, the intensity of the light perceived, which frightened her, and I explained that she was protected inside me, as she'd been protected by her plant body, and that I knew not to look directly at the sun-I demonstrated how I squinted my eyes shut as I turned my face toward the sun....
I was watching some show about gigantic mining vehicles, when I smoked a 20x hit. I tapped my ash and looked up at the TV screen, and was startled to see tiny people standing under tires two-stories high-Just then I felt the Salvia hit-The massive equipment entered my total field of perception, and I could now literally FEEL the juddering, spinning machines like metal blades through my mental ectoplasm, shaking my brain violently (yet pleasurably) until I as hypnotized into a momentary dream vision of my father's top dresser drawer in our old house, illuminated by surreal blue moonlight, the open amber wood drawer which I again felt I'd snuck into while he was away, and taken some LSD tabs, and was now moving through the night house hysterically overwhelmed by this tremendous vibrating electric energy...
The dream state burst and all my thoughts melted together and twisted upward in a red carnival-striped cone-shaped tentacle which then fell like liquid and splashed me back into being on the couch. My vision fazed back into brightly colored view, the spectacle of my bent-legged reclining form enshrouded in its clothing of dead organic matter, like a living mummy shaman, ghosting metamorphically in and out of existence like smoke-My bones and the lacquered boards of the sofa's armrests ling up perfectly in geometric parallels, a microcosmic conglomeration of organic and inert matter, a sentient antique object cloned from infinite past incarnation-One of the present branchlike extensions of the sentient, fermenting universe. I wanted to take a photograph of every object I perceived, so unbelievable was the beauty of a glass, the potted spider plants, the Navajo rug nailed to the wall.
I had two hits left. The first one baked my room into a strange pawn-shop storage closet, where I sat on my hammock-like bed, staring at the reddish board walls and assembled musical instruments, and everything now had a nubbly, crusty, corncob-like texture. I felt like I'd been sitting here a long time, maybe forever. The second hit was a bit bigger, and being my last (for now), I held it extra long. Now a silhouette-like ghostly alien figure came down from on high, taking the exact grass-green color of my new shirt. Its head entered mine like a sold entering a liquid, intense pressure 'pushing' my awareness, mashing it into the 'floor' of my mind. I was leaning on my left elbow, and as I closed my eyes, I could 'see' my physical form as a spike (my left arm) supporting an ectoplasmic blob of dark purple energy, hanging over the edge of the bed, ready to 'spill' over onto the floor...
Got an ounce of salvia divinorum leaves, unextracted. This is an beneficent a plant as cannabis-- a stony cool buzz--I smoked two salvia leaf joints in my backyard in the noon sun (with extracts I usually get a strange alien terror of direct sunlight) and my vision was still there when I'd close my eyes--The afterimages of the tard fuzzing and frying into strange elvin forets villages in Perppermint County, Atlantis.....
Next time I went to the smoke shop, the clerk told me they were all out of the Salvia 20x. 'All we got's the 40.' I felt an apprehensive tingle of excitement as I spent the extra seven dollars and walked out with my new 40x Salvia. All day I carried the little purple container around with me, smoking Cannabis bud, preparing myself for what I knew (but could never have imagined) was going to be a mind-shattering trip. I turned on the TV and saw that Barack Obama was delivering a weighty speech. Behind him were draped many Star Spangled Banners. I packed a hit and took the plunge.
I expected the Salvia would make Obama's speech entirely incomprehensible, but once more I was taken to a place where God was the plant and the plant was talking through the TV-Everything a vast conspiracy-Everything President Obama (he was already president in this trip, though it was still September) was saying was directed specifically at ME-He'd say something about what the country needed to do, some goal, and it was as if God was ordering me to accomplish these goals.
Now I became aware of this alien silhouette invading and possessing my body, orgasmic and exhilarated, laughing at my foolishness. I was completely immobilized, staring at the TV between lively potted plants. I experimentally tried turning my head, and I could feel a struggle within, like I was being held frozen by some unimaginable internal grip-I could almost hear my brain squeaking against the inside of my skull as I strained to turn my head just an inch to the left. I was in a panic someone would walk into the room and see me in this tranquilized, overexposed state, and they'd instantly see that I was 'inside-out'-Then a paranoiac fantasy overcame me that this was test set up by my family, some deal with God, and I'd just passed or failed, and as soon as anyone came forth they would be revealing their implicitness in this conspiracy. Slowly this idea, at first shockingly convincing, faded to unbelievability as the Salvia trip leveled off to it usual heavy, pleasantly stoned state.
This was my most intensely awesome and terrifying experience on Salvia yet. Again only a single hit of the 40x was used. I was dreading a court date the next day, feeling rather like a condemned man. I put the album Hemispheres by Rush on the stereo-The opening track is 18 minutes-The song tells the epic story of the ancient battle for Man's heart and mind between Apollo and Dionysus. I might've 'ghosted' it a bit too long as I reclined on my bed, propped on my right elbow, staring through the digital clock and butterscotch-colored blanket in my field of vision. The feeling started off familiar, my peripheral vision bubbling in concentric wavelike patterns-Then this sensation increased and I woke up in a dream.
The 'roof' was torn off my psychic house and the Creator of the Universe was somewhere above. I realized perhaps for the first time the reality of our mortal, temporal existence. But the paranoiac dream impressed up my mind with utmost belief that I was in reality in a coma in the 'real' world, and my family were endeavoring to wake me up-I'd been living in a dream for some unknown stretch of time, and Salvia was the magical 'key' my psyche had sought to wake me out of this 'dream'-I desperately did NOT want this to be the truth, and I begged God to let me keep 'dreaming', and to let me forget this 'reality'-Now the plant interrupted my begging and said that everyone in the 'house' who didn't smoke Salvia RIGHT NOW was going to die. I knew I'd have to wake everyone up (in this dream I was the only one 'awake') and I knew they'd be angry and confused, but I'd have to convince them to smoke the sacrament-We were leaving the earth
But the word 'house' might've referred to my bedroom, and since I was the only one in the room, I became gripped with death fear-I didn't know how much time I had-I grabbed the bowl and smoked the single hit of green plant material. This action seemed to be done almost against my will, by a supervising, emotionless part of my physical consciousness. Slowly the dream faded back to sensible awareness-Nobody was 'dying', nobody was going anywhere, nobody was in a coma. Then I realized the plant matter which the plant-voice had 'ordered' me to smoke was not Salvia, but Cannabis. In the amnesiac depths of the trip I could not distinguish between the two plants-They were both simply The Plant, the Tree of Knowledge.
It was another twelve hours or so before I'd completely come back to normal thought forms, and realized how completely the plant had tricked me, using my own thoughts, ideas, fears and imagination to form possibly the most terrifying mental situation imaginable. When I smoked that hit, I fully believed were I not to, I would literally 'wake up' in some other place, in another body, in a world in which this one was only a dream.
My next trip with the 40x wasn't as intense (which was exactly what I wanted), as I only held the two small hits in a few seconds instead of 'ghosting' a big one. I was a bit cold when I smoked the first hit. Lovely warmth flushed into me, and I struggled numbly to remove my striped sweatshirt. I lay back and enjoyed the intense rush of energy. After about ten minutes I lit another. It began with a rush of heat and electric energy which reminded me of the excitement of dangerous things, or an intense rush of emotion-Electric orgasmic vibrations pulsed through my body. I saw a perfect classic arch-shaped door in my mind, and now hundreds upon thousands of pink rubbery arches (the doors of perception?) were expanding upwards and looping over my body. I almost seemed to take an interdimensional tumble forward through these arches, looping back on myself like a snake eating its tail.
I was angry and in pain after a trip to the dentist. My brain was swimming with paranoid fears about infections and impossible fees. A single hit of Salvia brought me back to sane, comfortable focus and patient, appreciative bliss-After an enormous ball of tangled ectoplasmic angst-tentacles was suctioned out of my head... I quickly smoked 3 more hits of the 40x, and turned the video camera on, recording the drum set. My brain was ecstatically overloading with intense vibratory energy-Everything looked like fresh, wet, brightly colored paint. Moving about the room was extremely strange, like being underwater almost.
I sat down at the drums, my limb moving with a strange heaviness. I began to play a sort of bombastic rock intro, most of my self seeming to watch as if it were another person playing. Playing felt almost effortless. Suddenly the odd fears lurking in my subconscious swam back at me, this time as a perfect and stunning certainty that this was IT-I had failed the test that was my life-This dental work, possibly caused by my not having taken care of my teeth (it may be genetically weak tooth-enamel), was too much, I was overstepping my bounds, and I was now going to die.
I looked down at the drums and they looked like weird pots or pans with balloon material stretched over them. My hands sank to my thighs, the drum sticks clapsed uselessly in my weak grip. I began to weep with fear at the thought of leaving my life behind. It was just around the corner, everything narrowing down to a vanishing point very near and clear. I stared at the drums, at the camera, thinking this could not be possible. Slowly my full memory came back to me, as the vanishing point simultaneously receded to it proper place far in distant time. I was left with a new understanding of dying, and I no longer take things for granted anymore, yet I don't quite have the same cold, annihilation dread at the thought of death.
I hadn't done Salvia in a few days, and I now had some Cannabis. I found that after a hit of Salvia, the Cannabis tasted incredibly sweet, almost all of the bitter aspects of its taste seemingly transformed pleasant sugariness similar to extremely fresh green crystaline chronic buds. After a hit of Cannabis the Salvia tasted different as well, somewhat sweet also, but smooth and silky and purplish, like some kind of exquisite cake. I smoked alternating small hits of each plant, and gradually began to feel all the houses around me, millions of them, lined up in rows, or at right angles, and the bed I was on, lined up with all the others in perfect cardinal parallels...
I had one bowl for Salvia and one for Cannabis, and the decision to 'consolidate' bowls came to me like a perverse revelation. I worndered if I should. Seemed alright to me... I took the plunge, grinning in a way that almost creeped me out. I felt very insectlike. I continued smoking Cannabis for awhile, enjoying the warm, glowingly pleasant buzz. Another Salvia 5x hit washed me back, seeing closed eye fractal movies of corpuscular life cycles. I could see my brain as two soft egglike image projection screens. I leaned back on my elbows, and I felt/saw a huge caramel-colored ectoplasmic bubble push into my psychic domain. The two plants made exquisite love in my body and mind, a fantastic threesome with these alien minds. At times I must admit I felt almost like a mere vessel though-A house, a meeting place for these two ancient lovers, their millionth host. But I was kept in thrall with a vastly uncatalogable stream of morphosizing images, all of earthly history merging and lapsing and swelling together in sheer hallucinatory phantasmagoria.
In the early morning, with my brother lying asleep on my bedroom carpet, and my cat snoozing in her little bed, I took a big dose of Salvia 20x, heating the pipe up, getting Cannabis resin vapors as well. My mind warped and slowed, and everything became very heavy. An immortal, archangelic force awoke inside me, seeming to rush up into me from deep within the ground, a black ectoplasmic titan with a cyclopean dragon eye, opening in my mind, awakened from the sleep of the Gods, summoned like a genie wearily into my gravity-bound body. Again visuals like tangling yellowish tentacles twined through my brain. The entity's disdain for my psychic blathering and awestruck emotions was palpable. I could see it, rushing up through the magma and dense layers of black wet soil, rising like heat, to become temporarily imprisoned in my flesh. The Salvia dragon was angry at being burnt in the pipe, but bound by holy law to come to me. But it would not tolerate the hunched-forward position I sat in, wrenching my back straight like a rising king cobra, wining its single enormous eye open and enjoying the heavy liquid crush of the atmosphere.
Another mix experience gave me an amazing visual of my brain, in glowing jellyfishlike sections of pink and green, with the normally conscious sections sliding off into tranquilized sleep after first jolting the dreambrain awake, even giving a brief explanation of my current situation and how to behave so as not to look crazy. This blind sight viewscreen played out in my head, tthen when I opened my eyes, everything was cartoonlike and enormously heavy-A heavy, dreamlike sense of awesome illumination, objects tasting sweet to the eyes, ith mind soft, melting around ideas like gelatin.
An awesome trip gave me intense sensations like electromgnetic atmospheres gyroscopically rotating within eachother, sensed rather than seen. The image of the geometrically aligned livingroom repeated and stretched off to a vastly distant concave horizon, like a cosmic mandala rug stretched up by its corners.
I felt my mind slow to a heavy, ponderous depth of melancholy sensual ecstasy as my vision tinged purple. I felt like a purple Salvia flower rooted to the bed, slowly turning my angular petal head as I gazed into the aquariumlike room.
Tripped while drumming again, and the drum set felt like an enormous crocodilian dinosaur rearing its clashing armored taul up into the air, as I beat and bashed on its heavy thumping body and clashed at its metal armor plates like a cyclopean ecstatic homunculus.
I got the awesome impression that Salvia had just 'peeled off' and awakened a layer of my soul which had been asleep since about age twelve or thirteen, and that was exactly what it felt like.
It was midsummer, the noon sun was out, finally, after weeeks of stormclouds--I blasted a hit of salvia, put on my sunglasses and stepped into my sandals--Stood up--felt like I suddenly weighed roughly 700 tons, and was made of tempered iron and plasticene gel--Got the strangest feelings of myself as a red bull-type demon creature, hunted, despised, as I peered out my window--I'd intended to walk out inton the sun, dressed in nothing but cut off shorts--But now that idea seemed as insane as suicide--I peeked out the tiniest part in the curtain, scoping paranoiacally for spying neighbors--If I went out there like this, they'd see my red unholy skin, sense my alien attitudes and call the agents in to do God knows what.....
Only now, many months later, do I understand the ideas behind this trip. I was experiencing the insane programmed jangle of paranoia accompanying the thought of going out even partially 'nude'--the idea that in this country, if I were to go out fully nude, with every bit of my 'evil' skin exposed, I wold be arrested for it--I'd be considered a 'criminal'--And the fact that I was getting stoned, ingesting the 'evil', 'illegal' plants, some kind of goddmaned demonic heretic by all legal and religious standards--So I was perceiving the ridiculous thought process which accompanies the 'gamble' of walking outside--'What if my shorts fall down and I commit INDECENT EXPOSURE?--What if somebody's KID sees 'it'? (the CRIME)--How long will I be caged in the dungeon of the sherrifs?....
This next 5x hit completely hypnotized me, and I can recall very little of what I experienced between rolling my head back in ecstasy and the moment when I stare at the camera, shake my head and start laughing. It was a paranoiac rush accompanied by the most aerobically pounding heartbead, seen in my mind like a bulbous cartoon frog heart right below my neck thumping a hundred times a second. This intensity was influenced by the tempo of the crescending music ('Halleluwah' by Can) playing outside my conscious mind, building to a panicked intensity like I've never felt before. Everything I knew was a cartoon phantasm, most likely a collosal hallucination, and I had the sudden realization (and not for the first time) that the truth about these plants has best been described by Terence McKenna, in his speculations of intelligent extraterrestrial (or extradimensional) contact through these botanical species. Or perhaps the truth lies somewhere between such scenarios and the tree and serpent story and other interestingly psychedelic legends in the Ethipoian (Rastafarian) Bible and Apocryphal texts (texts banned by the satanic popes).
I was compelled to smoke salvia in the middle of the night--After smoking good Cannabis for several hours.... I had a deep pain in my spine. On the stereo Bob Dylan was singing Visions of Johanna at the cavernous Royal Albert Hall in 1966--In my front brain I asked for the trip to be 'Visual' (subconsciously inspired by the title of the song?) but as I packed the hit into my pipe I said 'The body of Christ'.... I took the hit and perhaps for the first time hld it as long as I could. Barely recall exhaling.... Closed my eyes and phased through a red blue neon chrysanthemum which took me into deep oceanic realms of submerged subconscious aquatic knowledge....
Suddenly I woke up in heaven, terrified, my heart pounding--My bedroom has been grafted into heaven--I'm eith in the process of dying or have already died and have just realized it. I'm sweating and steel and weigh a thousand tons--Dylan is a wise elfin ancient Jewish gnome who sings to me, describing all the infinitely mystical wonders which shall now be revealed to me. Everyone shall now come forth and explain the truth--The room was superimposed with a vast blue phantom magic carpet of music projecting a cavern of jewels and infinitely distant stars--I could barely move I was so overwhelmed with fear--my heart was pounding like I'd just run a mile--When Dylan sang 'Hear the one with the mustache say Jeez,' I was fully expecting my father (who died in 2004 and all my life always kept a mustache) to come through the bedroom door. I was weeping with raw terror and emotion. 'Jewels and binoculars hang from the head of the mule'....A feeling of intense motion--We are all hurling through the cosmos beyong the speed of sound--A raw wind through the bones--I felt like I could see through everything--Right through to the stars....
I decided to smoke a hit right bfore I ate two tacos I'd just reheated in the toaster-oven--The salvia gravity made holding the heavy plate a strange balancing act more fit for the circus than the dining room, so I set the plate down on my bed. This brought a momentary peace of mind, but now as I attempted my first bite, the intense paranoia salvia often brings came over me--I feared the food might still be just slightly too hot, and might slowly cook my stomach were I to wolf the tacos down like my ravenous appetite desired. I realized human eating habits have become atricky timing act--we heat the food up till it would scorch you were you to eat it too fast, and then wait just long enough, till it's cool enough to tolerate--Even during the course of our dining the food changes temperature drastically, from steaming hot to almost room temperature.
I believe this natural medicine, Salvia Divinorum, can wake up the dream brain, the psychedelic brain-The seat of the soul, of imagination, of true (uncompressed) memory, and of real emotion-As distinguished from ideas, thoughts, memories-The seat of true FEELING... Many of my trips, at the tranquilized, amnesiac peak, evoke the feeling of preparing myself to enter the water I used to experience as a small child-Sometimes I'll get the impulse to take my clothes off, in preparation for entering this new medium. I can see/hear/feel my cells bracing themselves excitedly for the sudden shock-'We're going swimming'...
I think this 'reverse tolerance' stuff is bullshit, though-I became accustomed to the effects-plus, as the plant reveals the comically absurd notions hidden in my subconcious mind (such as subliminal religious programming), if I keep the lessons learned in focus the next time I smoke, the plant isnít able to 'trick' me the same way again. Basically it can act as a sort of 'sinister exaggerator', amplifying my thoughts and sensory impulses-Gravity will feel like 'super' gravity-Light is more intense-I become conscious of things I normally filter out of my conscious thoughts....
I believe this plant (and possibly others such as Cannabis, Psilocybe, Lophophora, and Claviceps) to be intelligent. The spirit in the leaves experiences death, and stasis, and then reincarnation in the brains of those who consume it... I think Brahma, the creator, the God which made the first plants and animals (and possibly the universe), is seen most strongly incarnate in Cannabis, dogs, and male persons (including queer girls). Shiva, the transformer (sometimes erroneously called the 'destroyer'), in Semitic myth seen as Satan, or the Serpent, is most strongly incarnate as Salvia, cats, and female persons (including queer boys). She is the Transformer, as shown in the ancient story of the Garden: the Serpent enters the crystaline Rastafarian minds of the first man and woman, transforming their entire outlook on existence. I can feel her beautiful, curious, laughing spirit. I asked her why she's come into our world and she laughed with hysterical amusement, showing me eerie scenes of cities at twilight. She's attracted to our strange ways.
It lasts half an hour at most, with a sudden shocking peak and rapid fadeout--feel like Gumby, weighing roughly 700 pounds, living in some mollusk aquatic tank, perhaps the nine billionth avatar of some God somewhere, everything lines up in crazy Olypian/Atlantean perspective --it's like clicking that puzzle box from Hellraiser into place and the Cenobytes come through the wall--only sexy, like being thrown into a swimming pool at age three in the noon summer sunlight--all things seem possible with this plant--this is the Eldorado of myth, the fountain of youth, the source of all the Mayan and Aztec art styles, the calendar, the mythologies of Greece, Scandinavia, India--This plant is quite possibly a God incarnate.
Last time I tripped this entity says she was just inhabiting a marble statue before she leaped into my body--Then I FELT what it would be like to slumber for a hundred years in the nerveless cool warm stone--the ancient immense weight--The idea was that since nobody has beieved in the Gods for millenia, they've been left to sleep in the statues in the ruins of the Mediterranean--'I believe in you,' I said, brought to tears by this ancient benevolent presence smiling at me in the archaic classical style, wreathed in tarnished stone grapes and olives, carved right into the white marble walls of Atlantis.
I've already turned on several friends to Salvia Divinorum, and all of their reactions have been amazing. Some have been nearly as overwhelmed by it as me, but this medicinal spirit seems to have the greatest effect on those with true psychic schisms or delusional paranoias, or obsessive compulsive behavious, all of which I suffered before my acquanitance with Salvia. I'd pulled all the hair on my scalp out up to the top of my head, FOUR TIMES, four years in a row, and had to shave my head for about two months each time while the bald spots thankfully regenerated. I'm sure some such lunatics aren't so lucky, and their hair never returns. Since that first Salvia/Cannabis joint electrified my soul in plastic molten cosmic bliss in June 2008, I haven't plucked anything but a few stray white ones, and even there I feel a strong, steely presence guiding me away from such obsessive nonsense and into the gleaming firey dimensiona of sharp color and heavy substance which are the matter of infinitely free mind.
One of the oddest trips I've had was when I smoked Salvia extract right after C.J., who'd never had it before-He had to sit down all the sudden, and I thought he might go berserk and start flailing about and breaking everything-but he was just a bit mentally overwhelmed-it felt like my ghost did a complete forward flip inside my body, and everything went purple and black, almost like a solar eclipse....
Salvia is absolutely the most amazing thing I've ever encountered. I've made three or four trip videos, but I hardly do anything except mumble a bit, but I wrote some of the stuff I saw down. Salvia has totally recharged my writing abilities (all but dried up before I found the Plant)... I usually smoke Salvia just once a day (5x), and I wish I could do the same with Cannabis, but it's been pretty much 'Wake and Bake' for almost ten years now. But whenever I can't get any for a few months it's just as bomb as the first time again (complete with unbelievable paranoia and the electric sensation I can only describe as 'Total Soul Burn')... I'd say once a week sounds about right, in order to 'recharge'. Otherwise I just kind of stay 'stoned' (half-baked)....
The possiblities with this plant seem to be infinite, like the mind of God. Lucid dreaming and the feeling of 'deja vu' seems in some way related to salvia, and a feeling of recalling blocked memories-as if each time I smoke it, a part of my brain comes awake, with its own separate memory system, not normally connected to my waking consciusness, inaccessible ... I persoanally believe the plant to intelligent, and to have full control over the brain while inside me-She can make me see/feel/believe/ anything imaginable. I know this sounds insane, but I can't help it. That's what my heart tells me. to deny her would feel horrible, like denying God-I sense a specific personality, a sense of cosmic humor, knowledge, love, wonder, and frankly I can feel the entity moving around in my brain, twisting my thoughts, injecting her own, at one time cutting off all memory-the effects are just too varied nd complex to be a 'drug effect'-that's there too, after the serpentine Goddess slids gradually away, yes, Iím still flying on this electric koolaid energy, but Iím once bascally alone again in my mind, but while she's inside I can't help but feel her beautiful spirit, rejuvenating as a cat, invigorating as sunlight, my every cell singing in (what else can I call it?) sexual awe. This is a true holy communion.
I smoked some 5x and was digging the amazing crescendos of synesthetic energy waves when I felt a strange twitch on my left ring finger. I looked and saw an enormous platinum ruby ring there-It looked ancient and beautiful, and I knew it was my special Divinorum Ring which meant I belonged to an elite small group in the world who'd been given 'The Secrets'-Now the Ring was sucked off my finger and off to the north east at the speed of light. Now salvia herself left me like a freight train locomotive taking off untethered, laving me shivering and stunned. My immediate fear was that I'd ben booted out of this special club, my insignia ring taken away never to be returned-I'd somehow Offended Them (God, the aliens, the plants, the angels) and the were Through With Me... When I came back to normal I remembered all the amzingly revelatory accounts of trips which were so like my own, and the fact that this plant was ALL over the WORLD. I realized then that I'm not in any special club-ANYONE who wants this can 'break on through' and Salvia seems duty-bound to teach-And these Teachings make even the best school seem like what it is-A babysitter and some old books.
Last night, while my brother (who is scared of salvia, so I don't usually trip around him anymore) was out for a cigarette, I smoked some of my new wickedly potent 5x Divinorum extract (more like 20 times the strength of some weak leaf like the dry old stuff I got from 'freshsalvia.com' (though their extracts are good--yet a bit stemmy)--this trip was mind blowing--once again the dude singing on TV (Def Leppard of all things) was speaking to me when he sang 'We're going OUT OF HERE!' and everything was a vast conspiracy--everybody ws now going to reveal themselves--God was going to tear off the fucking ROOF and we were LEAVING the PLANET
Sweat was drenching off me like I was baking on the surface of mercury--I realized salvia was definitely hammering home the fact that I really do still believe my life to possibly be 'directed' in some special way, as if I were different than others--I too have a strong sense of being somehow a 'prophet' or somehow able to see thing others don't--It's a lot like The Matrix, where you feel like the entire world is a 'holo-deck' type mindscreen scenario projected for you alone--No more 'real' than a dream--but now I'm coming to see what salvia is saying--by showing me that 'real life' is really 'just a dream'--Then you can flip it, see it the other way around: that the (immortal) Dreaming (AKA Heaven) is every but a REAL as this (temporary) biochemical universe we are currently trapped in.
No plant has truly scared the hell out of me, or made me feel fully reborn, since I first tried Cannabis, over a decade ago. Until I found Salvia Divinorum, the Diviner's Sage.
I first tried Salvia about seven years ago, when my father gave me some finely ground Salvia leaves, along with some Cannabis. I smoked the two herbs together, the Cannabis smooth yet intense as always, the Salvia new, seemingly milder than the Cannabis. My Dad, having been on hundreds of acid, cactus and mushroom trips, and even having once been unknowingly dosed with Datura tea, said that he hardly felt anything from it. I've never been able to locate LSD, but the few tiny pieces of psilocybin mushroom I'd eaten a few weeks prior were definitely similar in feel to the Salvia leaves. I was enjoying the contrast between the tastes of the two smokes, trying them alone, and in mixture. I liked the Salvia. At this small dose it produced a lovely, dreamy feeling of excitement and anticipation, with a slight physical lethargy.
About a year later, I had a hit off a pipe packed with some Salvia 10x concentrate. I got one or two good hits off the bowl. The world seemed to subtly stretch out, to become almost flattened. Weird, cartoon like imagery flowed through my brain. We tripped during a thunderstorm-induced power-outage, and with nothing really to look at but a flickering candle, I closed my eyes and thought about other dimensions, time stretching out to where a minute felt like an hour. The smoke shop in my town recently put up a poster in their window. 'Purple Sticky Salvia.' I remembered enjoying the effects, and couldn't understand why I'd ignored it for five years. perhaps my father's death had diverted my mind down a terribly walled-off road. I'd been trying for four years to get away from the horrid labyrinth of guilty feelings and paralyzing death fears which my mind had become. I read about Salvia, the immense powers ascribed to the plant, and its unique nature, and thought it might be exactly what I was looking for.
I had the awesome idea while tripping, several times actually, that salvia is an Archangel or alien (sort of the same thing in way, or so the psychologists would say. a higher intelligence) who has volunteered (sort of like Quantum Leap I suppose) to be temporarily forced into the hot, prison like confines of human forms when summoned by eating or smoking this plant.
I've never dared smoke more than about three one-hitters of 20x and that type of dose almost inevitably makes me think I'm about to ascend into the next world with a feeling of unspeakable terror and awe which then mercifully recedes.
I've also seen and felt bizarrely convincing evidence that a person's body gains I'd say about ten or twelve pounds while in the depths of a salvia trip. Another weird thing I've noticed: I like going out in the full noon sun, for about half an hour every other day or so (if it aint raining) and a few times I've tried walking out whilst tripping on salvia. Booyah! A force filled with alien terror grips me as I open the door and the direct sunlight becomes visible. I feel a force almost wrestling for control of my limbs as I strive to walk out the door, panicking at the 'threat' of being taken out into the full noon light (they do say salvia plants are killed by direct light and need shady diffused light. so there's one for the spirit of the plant 'as is' proposition). Of course, the cynics and douchebags would sneer and mumble that it's all just hearing the typical thought going through your brain but scrambled 'randomly' (why such idiots must always see everything as 'random'. evolution for example. is a mystery to me) by the 'drug' (all is merely chemistry to some jerkoffs, nothing by static numbers to others even sadder yet). Now this idea, of an Awareness, a Mind, being incarnate somehow in a Plant or drug, this idea is completely new to me from from smoking salvia. I've never in my life had such an idea before, but now I'm staring to think other plants might be in communion with humanity as well.
I smoked some 5x and was digging the amazing crescendos of synesthetic energy waves when I felt a strange twitch on my left ring finger. I looked and saw an enormous platinum ruby ring there. -It looked ancient and beautiful, and I knew it was my special Divinorum Ring which meant I belonged to an elite small group in the world who'd been given 'The Secrets'. -Now the Ring was sucked off my finger and off to the north east at the speed of light. Now salvia herself left me like a freight train locomotive taking off untethered, laving me shivering and stunned. My immediate fear was that I'd been booted out of this special club, my insignia ring taken away never to be returned. -I'd somehow Offended Them (God, the aliens, the plants, the angels) and the were Through With Me.... When I came back to normal I remembered all the amazingly revelatory accounts of trips which were so like my own, and the fact that this plant was ALL over the WORLD. I realized then that I'm not in any special club. -ANYONE who wants this can 'break on through' and Salvia seems duty. -bound to teach. -And these Teachings make even the best school seem like what it is. -A babysitter and some old books.
Last night, while my brother (who is scared of salvia, so I don't usually trip around him anymore) was out for a cigarette, I smoked some of my new wickedly potent 5x Divinorum extract (more like 20 times the strength of some weak leaf like the dry old stuff I got from [deleted] (though their extracts are good. --yet a bit stemmy). )--this trip was mind blowing. --once again the dude singing on TV (Def Leppard of all things) was speaking to me when he sang 'We're going OUT OF HERE!' and everything was a vast conspiracy. --everybody was now going to reveal themselves. --God was going to tear off the fucking ROOF and we were LEAVING the PLANET. s
Sweat was drenching off me like I was baking on the surface of mercury. --I realized salvia was definitely hammering home the fact that I really do still believe my life to possibly be 'directed' in some special way, as if I were different than others. --I too have a strong sense of being somehow a 'prophet' or somehow able to see thing others don't. --It's a lot like The Matrix, where you feel like the entire world is a 'holo-deck' type mind mindscreen scenario projected for you alone. --No more 'real' than a dream. --but now I'm coming to see what salvia is saying. --by showing me that 'real life' is really 'just a dream'. --Then you can flip it, see it the other way around: that the (immortal) Dreaming (AKA Heaven) is every bit a REAL as this (temporary) biochemical universe we are currently trapped in. I think most people see heaven as some bizarre cross between a courthouse/prison complex and vast monastery. in other words you're arrested when you die and sentenced to go to church mass for eternity. but I think God really just lives in the 'Real' World and the 'Dream' World just like we do.
I do fully believe salvia to be an intelligent plant. If you're totally open to the idea, and she knows it won't blow your mind, she will reveal herself to be full conscious inside. I've been given numerous demonstrations of this. and she is a thousand times more intelligent than we. We are like chimps to her.
that is the essence of salvia: I'm instantly thrust into a completely lucid dreamlike state while retaining full sensory input. someone else said something cool: 'Even if salvia didn't have any psychoactive effects, I'd still use it for the the way it makes me feel afterward'. And I totally agree. The best antidepressant ever. Such states as boredom, sadness, nostalgia, self. pity, death fear, all seem literally impossible for days afterward. This plant literally saved my life from constantly stressing out to the point of near cardiac arrest. From driving 90 miles per hour fucked up on oxycontin, morphine, vicodin, booze. From cancer choking cigarette death, from all kinds of psychic torments I wouldn't wish on anyone short of Hitler or Jeffery Dahmer. I spent every waking hour in a schizoid hateful obsessive nihilistic depressive rage. I was fucked up, and I knew it. if I hadn't had cannabis I would've definitely. drifted off into a sad end for sure.
Plus this stuff is fucking SEXUAL. have I forgot to mention that? She feels like a wet naked panther snake horse woman slitheringly invading my flesh from within and charging my nerves with pulsing purple and white reptile skin mosaics of translucent ectoplasmic dream stuff while her tongue writhes and twines around the lobes of my cerebellum. But that is just one of infinite possibilities but the feeling is always like through the looking glass wonder land shock and awe. But even if I feel like my head is melting or being sliced into a million pieces, ten minutes later I'll be right back to normal, even trivial trains of thought picking up as if the neurons had been merely paused temporarily.
I used to hallucinate at night, when I was around two to four years old. Lying in bed in the grainy semidarkness, I'd see dozens of candies drifting across the ceiling, moving from toe to head, varied and delicious. looking treats wrapped in particoloried cellophane. I believe this capacity to hallucinate, or to see what I'm wishing to see, or to see my own body (the classic 'out of body experience') from a secondary perspective, which you really always hold in a certain part of your visual brain (the 'mind's eye'), are a regular part of our consciousness, especially as children.
Salvia stung me like a wasp and I was paralyzed, my body frozen like a statue on the couch. with TOTAL amnesia. I was just Adam or Man or whomever. just a human being. my only thought was that I should warn the others of my 'tribe' about this dangerous plant (though it was more like a bug which had envenomated me in my strangely vague amnesiac consciousness) and then, as I saw the wall like a Teepee or Hogan sort of ancient dwelling next to my right side I felt what I can only compare to the hydraulic drill they used on a tooth socket one time at the dentist. but more like INSIDE my brain. Ultrasonic vibrations juddering my mind to complete ecstatic oblivion. Almost an orgasmic sensation, like committing suicide with a chainsaw. The last flash of sensation as the chain blades slice through the meat of my brain like a cactus. but with no pain, as though anesthetized. I've had sensations also like an electric samurai sword slicing diagonally through my torso though these types of phenomena aren't usually combined. It almost seems like salvia has a limited power supply (sort of like Spawn in the first comic book), with each trip. Like Quantum Leap on a limited battery. So it can be either really intense (but short), or longer, but more stony, mellower, spacey.
Two extremely strange salvia trips yesterday. first I tripped to our music and my brain was once again invaded by what I feel as a demonic alien force, laughing and evil, which speaks of our ultimate destruction on 2012 etc. then Josh, tripping beside me, says 'what the hell is this?' referring to his own guitar-driven music, and in my state I took this to be the alien invader's voice, and I answered 'Wes Miles Virus', you heard of us? almost absurdly, the 2012 alien released its demonic grip on the back of my mind and said 'it's okay, they're with us'. Of course, after that I don't know what to think. Is Salvia the alien force, or merely showing me these demonic entities, but then I did another hit, where it was more like what dying must be like. But it was that EVERYONE I know is already dead, this IS the afterworld, and I was just realizing it (after all these years, HAHA!).
they'd all just been humoring me all along, waiting for me to figure it out.
I'm 31 but I've never even seen LSD, mushrooms or cactus, and the quest for those unnattainable (at least in Arizona) substances was damn near driving me mad when I discovered Salvia. I actually smoked more of that stuff today than ever before. and I feel completely back to earth already. honestly I don't think I would want the feeling to last for hours, but it is awesome.
Salvia gave me a weird trip where like in Laserblast I seemed to fully possessed by a demonic green alien force after I ghosted a hit of 10x with a crack head torch lighter. The I got a horrible fear that Josh's uncle Mike was God, that I'd offended him and was going to jail or possibly Hell. Josh was looking at me like I was having a stroke or something. I had the insane paranoia that the cops would somehow convict me of 'participating' in Josh's parole violations. Jesus, if they started arresting everyone guilty of that 'crime' everyone would be locked up. In that state, I was incapable of speaking to or even looking at Josh, so fearful was I of being 'caught' associating with a 'criminal'. Again, Salvia has shown me the fears which writhe inside my subconscious and cripple me unknowingly. Smoked salvia 15x for the first time by myself outside of our property. In the setting sunlight behind our back gate. I was wearing jeans, sandals, and sunglasses. I had a 20 ounce bottle of Mountain Dew. The brilliant orange yellow green and blue colors of the sun splotched oak forest before me intensified. My flesh took on the quality of heavy, slick foam rubber. Suddenly I became terrified of an alien invasion. The caffeine inthe green soda seemed like some kind of addiction-breeding conspiracy of the aliens. War of the Worlds type ideas bringing instant panic. I ran for the house and realized I'd split completely in two, mentally. It was my left side that panicked and ran for the open gate. I looked to my right, fully expecting to see another 'me' still standing there in the big patch of sunlight across the rocky trail. My two halves had become entirely separate. I could hear the two distinct voices in my head (Virgo and Aries?), yammering away in completely different fashions, struggling impossibly to understand the crazy state I was in. I thought maybe this is what someone feels like immediately following a lobotomy. I ran back inside and got the idea that I could use my salvia extract stash to 'glue' or more accurately 'zip' my brain back together (this makes no sense, since salvia is the thing which 'unzipped' me to begin with), by rubbing it up and down the symmetric divide of my head.
There's a curious quality to the taste of cannabis smoked after salvia--not so much with brown mexican shwag, but with the good stuff--after smoking a hit of salvia, while my mouth is still juicy with the taste of salvia (like red wine and black tea leaves), I quickly smoke a hit of cannabis (preferably in a clean pipe, and not the one I smoked the salvia in, tho it still works--I use the same pipe all the time): the cannabis will taste extremely sweet, and citrusish--almost like lemon flavored sugar crystals. The best taste in the world.
A vision of every single one of the billions of axons/denfrites in my brain, seen as pink tentacles, each ending in a microscopic human hand... The random, floccilating, writhing lone motions of my hands are seen to be echoed by every single micro hand in my brian--grasping and twisting, disconnected in infinite chaos. When I switch to a Carl Childers-like, calm, smooth, hypnotic type of hand motion, bringing the palms together, I can feel every single micro hand come together in the same instant, washing an infinite calm through my whole head. I late heard a lecturer on trnbascendetal meditation use this same metaphor for the axons/dendrites.
(Films and books and groups and artists and albums which prepared me in some way for the Salvia experience, which may have influenced the thought forms of my magic mint trips, or which the Salvia experience to me in some way recalls, or which in some way remind me of the Salvia trips: Salvador Dali (the photorealistic dream world of infinite metamorphosis. Even his name sounds like Salvia Divinorum),. James Joyce (utterly melting multidimensional psychedelia), Pablo Picasso (vision fractured and flattened), Francis Bacon, Hieronymous Bosch, Zdzislav Beksinski, M.C. Escher, Robert Crumb, Mike Mignola, Like a Velvet Glove Cast in Iron by Daniel Clowes, Frank Herbert (the Spice, the Water of Life), Anne Rice and Stephen King's entire works (communication from alien or spectral entities), Samuel Beckett (states of complete and partial amnesia, selves and identities merging and submerging), William S. Burroughs (states of time and 'reality' and consciousness merging and blending), Charles Bukowski's Pulp, Thomas Pynchon, Edgar Alan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Franz kafka, Jorge Borges, Carlos Castaneda (the magic of plants and reality), Allen Ginsberg, Gabriel Garcia Marquez (time stretched out to infinity), the Pentateuch and the Apocrypha (the Tree of Knowledge, the 'Ark' (earth), Lewis Carroll (Through the looking Glass, etc.), Hunter S. Thompson (complete paranoiac intensity, imagination bursting through into reality), Timothy Leary, Whitley Streiber (alien contact), Ray Bradbury, Charles Manson, Jimi Hendrix Experience, the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Tool, Black Sabbath, Radiohead, Led Zeppelin, Rush, White Rabbit by Grace Slick, Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive by David Lynch (astral projection, dual reality); the Terminator and the Abyss by James Cameron, Twelve Monkeys and the Fisher King and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Terry Gilliam, Jacob's Ladder, Back to the Future, Pulp Fiction, Total Recall, Blade Runner, the Wizard of Oz, Jason and the Argonauts, the Twilight Zone, Quantum Leap, The Butterfly Effect, The Truman Show; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Being John Malkovich by Chalie Kaufman, Black Swan, Inception).
2018 Addendum: My Salvia Renaissance
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