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Punching the Mattress
Salvia divinorum (Salvia)
Citation:   dguiron. "Punching the Mattress: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (Salvia) (exp85044)". Erowid.org. Jul 17, 2017. erowid.org/exp/85044

 
DOSE:
2 hits smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 10x)
BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb
I am not a casual smoker. I became interested in the 'mind-opening' potential of entheogens in December 2009. Since then, I conducted a thorough research of the most common entheogenic substances. What interested me most were tryptamines and LSD to some degree. However, the illegality of those substances forced me to look for legal alternatives. Among, several of the options, Salvia Divinorum caught my interest, particularly because of its novel path of action (kappa-Opioid receptors). Moreover, the fact that this is not liked as a recreational substance and is just suitable for divination purposes increased my interest tenfold. That is because I think (may be naively) that substances of real entheogenic value need not necessarily be pleasing.

I procured 1g of 10x Salvia Divinorum and a classic tobacco pipe in February 2010, but it took me a while to convince myself to smoke it. Firstly, I was afraid of what it might do to my brain (which earns my living). Secondly, I was not comfortable with the idea of adding myself to the group that “does drugs.” You see, I have been taught from early-childhood to stay away from all intoxicants and people who use them. In fact, I never even drank alcohol or smoked cigarette (I am not planning to start on either of these though). However, after reading numerous trip-reports on a reputable website, I decided that it was finally time to give it a try.

It is April 24, 2010 Friday midnight. I had my dinner at 9pm. I take regular high-potency multi-vitamins, whey protein, creatine, and glutamine. I have been feeling a bit homesick for the last couple of days, but in general, I was relatively relaxed. I looked up a playlist of meditation music on YouTube (btw, there are some amazing ones). The first music was 'Buddhist Meditation Music - Zen Garden - Kokin Gumi'. It was just shy of ten minutes. I turned off all but the corner light in my room and started the music on my laptop. Then I hopped on my bed and lighted the Salvia in the pipe. I could not hold the first whiff in for more than 5 seconds (I know, novice), so I took a second whiff. While I was inhaling the second whiff, I felt things starting to melt and I was also feeling very lightheaded. I tried to hold the second whiff for about 20 seconds. As I exhaled the second whiff, I felt my body being drawn into the bed. It was like someone was pushing down on my shoulders. I thought this might be a good time to put down the pipe (as if I had a choice).

As I lay flat on my back with my eyes shut, I started to see myself standing in a garden under the balcony of the apartment I grew up in. A side note: the apartment was in a private community of twelve apartment buildings and playing fields. So, there was a yellow tint to the overall scene. It was not an exact reproduction of the garden, but it was pretty close. Interestingly, there was a copy of the apartment building on the other side of the garden. I was standing in the valley (garden) created by the two mountains (buildings), staring at the horizon. There were so many things going on around me that it is difficult to isolate them from the overall environment and talk about them. I could hear children playing on the streets and the music seemed to have personified itself as a member of my family and was staring down at me from the balcony. No sooner that I was trying to get a sense of the environment that an entity tried to talk to me.

I could not see it but it felt like something non-human, something that could hold a space in air, like a smoke. At this point, I became a little uncomfortable and distinctly remember yelling out “There is no one here but me!” I probably punched the mattress several times and was breathing very heavily. Yet, I felt paralyzed and unable to control my state in the environment. So I accepted the situation and tried to return back to exploring the environment. I eyed the two apartment buildings again and shifted my attention to the garden which seemed to hold the secret to ultimate closure and peace. However, I was being dragged back to reality. I tried to scratch at the door-bars of the entrance to the environment in order to stay in there longer, but could not affect anything.

As I came back to my senses, I stared at the smoke-detector on the ceiling and saw it doing waves. That went away in the next five seconds and I noticed that I was drenched in sweat. As I turned to check the time on my laptop, the music stopped. I was “in there” for about 8 minutes. I felt very refreshed; almost like waking up from fever. I was physically disoriented for another 2 minutes. As I tried to think about what just happened, I felt very sad (the nostalgic kind). I wanted to get back in that environment, explore the garden, talk to the entity, and play with the kids.

An interesting difference between my experience and others on I have read about is that I felt that the apparent trip-time was very short while almost everyone else felt that the apparent trip-time was much longer than the actual trip-time. On the other hand, a lot of the feelings that I did not understand in other people’s trip reports started to make sense. Particularly, I felt an almost infinite degree of love in the garden. Nothing in there seemed inanimate. Everything, the plants, the flowers, and even the concrete in the buildings seemed to have life. It is as if you could interact with every single thing around you. Although, everything in there was personified, they all seemed to be part of a free-flowing, yet perfect system.

All in all, it was an amazing first experience in entheogens. However, I have yet to make sense of all the visions; there was just way too much information in very short time. If only I could stay in there longer to explore the secrets of the garden.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 85044
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Jul 17, 2017Views: 958
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), First Times (2)

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