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I Feel Like Jesus
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Mary Jane
Citation:   Mary Jane . "I Feel Like Jesus: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp85071)". Erowid.org. Jul 8, 2010. erowid.org/exp/85071

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 capsl oral MDMA (capsule)
  T+ 0:30 1 capsl oral MDMA (capsule)
  T+ 2:00 1 capsl oral MDMA (capsule)
  T+ 0:00 1 capsl insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:00 1 capsl oral MDMA (capsule)

BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb


On a drizzly April night the long-awaited event finally arrived. Tonight me and a group of friends were going to see Passion Pit live and take molly (pure MDMA). I was extremely excited about this night because I had previously taken molly five times at raves and concerts and I have always absolutely loved my experiences. My previous experiences I had taken one or two caplets of MDMA but never more than 3.5 caplets at one time. My experiences felt like rushes of euphoria and happiness as well as feeling an indescribable connection with all of the people around me. However, at some of the raves I watched my friends who had taken four or five pills and their eyes were rolling back in their heads with pure joy and I would just see that they were experiencing a whole new universe. I decided this is the night that I wanted to get on that level, ďtravel into outer spaceĒ as some of my friends have described it.

I started the night off at my boyfriendís apartment just relaxing with a couple of friends. We were all sitting around listening to music and talking about how excited we all were to roll together tonight. I was filled with anticipation and excitement and just wanted to feel that beautiful loving molly feeling once again. We each drank a couple of beers just to loosen up and then headed off to the concert.

We parked in a secluded area of the concert hall parking garage and decided to take our first pills. I anxiously grabbed one pill out of the baggie and started chewing; my mouth was instantly flooded with that incredibly bitter molly taste. Feeling ready and excited we went into the concert just in time to see Passion Pit play their first song. We were all dancing and in a happy excited mood and just enjoying the music.

After about half an hour I started feeling little rushes of energy in my legs and my stomach started to feel anxious. I turned to my boyfriend and asked him if he was feeling anything yet. He said he thought he felt it coming on. We were just vibing and letting the music take us over, singing along and dancing like crazy to Passion Pitís amazing set. About an hour in my body definitely felt light and my arms felt really fluid when I moved them around above my head. Even though I was starting to roll a little bit it was not very intense at all, just a faint feeling of lightness. I decided to take my second pill, so I chewed it up on the dance floor and tried to get into the music so I could finally start rolling hard.

For the remaining hour of the show I was kept on the same level of feeling body lightness and rushes of energy flowing through my body. I realized that I was chewing on my gum fanatically to relieve the tension in my jaw and I could start to feel my eyes begin to jiggle when I moved my gaze from light to light. I felt pretty awesome, but I knew that I still wasnít rolling as hard as I wanted to. One of my other friends, a more experienced roller said that the effects he felt werenít very intense at all and he thought that the molly was probably cut with something else, so it wasnít very strong.

After the concert we all felt a little disappointed that we hadnít reached our peak yet, and the night was definitely not over yet so we decided to buy different molly from a friend that we had met up with at the concert. We drove from the concert to the friendís house and immediately all took another pill which our friend assured us was very pure, strong MDMA. After taking the molly and drinking some water we headed to an after party to dance some more. While driving there, I felt the feelings in my body start to become more intense and I was just laughing and talking uncontrollably and feeling social and ready to party.

We headed into the house and downstairs into the basement where there was a d.j. set up, the room was packed and all the lights were off except for lasers. This was the perfect after party environment for my group seeing as we were all rolling pretty hard at this point. I was just filled with a feeling of euphoria and excitement and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness of being in this awesome environment with all of these people all just dancing and losing themselves in the music.

My boyfriend went to the bathroom with a couple of friends to rail (snort) another pill because he said that it would hit you a lot faster than chewing or swallowing it. When he returned I looked at his face and his pupils were so gigantic that I could barely see any of the blue of his eyes. He was chewing extremely hard to release the jaw tension and he just kept saying over and over again: ďMy god I feel amazing. God I feel so good. Letís go to outer space babe.Ē He told me I should try railing a pill to see how it felt. Seeing how amazing he must be feeling, I instantly decided to take another.

Me and another friend went to the back of the room and he broke apart the capsule onto a credit card. I had never snorted molly before, so I was anxious to see how I felt after this, seeing as I was already feeling great. I snorted up the line and then put a little bit under my tongue, causing my tongue to become numb. About ten minutes after snorting the molly I felt an intense rush of energy and excitement building up within me and I just felt so overjoyed with pure happiness.

My body felt so light that it felt like I was floating above my own body. I told my boyfriend that I was feeling like I was entering outer space and he picked me up so my feet werenít toughing the ground and took me over right in front if the fan. This was the most amazing, indescribable feeling I have ever had. Without my feet on the ground I felt completely weightless and combined with the fan it literally felt like I was flying through outer space.

After the party ended around two in the morning we decided to head back to our friendís apartment to have our own personal dance party. The apartment had such a relaxing, comfortable environment that is the perfect chill spot to hang out when rolling. We started the fireplace and put on some Kid Cudi and decided it would be great to just chill and smoke some peppermint hookah. We all drank lots of water to cure our dry mouths and then just relaxed in a room filled with pillow mattresses, tons of soft floor cushions, lights, and beautiful art and tapestry on the walls.

Smoking hookah felt absolutely amazing. When I breathed the smoke in it felt so cold and soothing on my throat. I couldnít stop smoking the hookah and was having a wonderful time practicing smoke rings. Laying there I noticed that my body was covered in a clammy cold sweat, but it didnít feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, my body felt amazing in a way I canít describe. It felt great to touch my skin, my skin felt so soft and squishy. I reached over to my boyfriend and started scratching the back of his head with my nails. He shivered a huge quake moving through his entire body as his eyes rolled back into his head in pure ecstasy.

Noticing how amazing we all felt, we all started to massage each other while smoking hookah. I had friends give me foot massages and scratch the back of my head, which sent uncontrollable rushes of energy through my body so intense it left me breathless. Not only did it feel good to be touched, it felt good to touch other people because everyoneís skin felt so soft. We were enraptured in conversation with each other. It felt so good to be in such an open, relaxed environment and we were all in such a loving mood, telling each other how wonderful we were and just enjoying the pure bliss that we all felt.

After an hour or two passed we decide we might as well take more molly. I snorted another capsule and waited for that amazing feeling to consume me. This being my fifth capsule of the night, it is safe to say I way rolling harder than I had ever rolled before, and I was loving every second of it. Even though it was four in the morning I felt wide awake and started dancing energetically to the music. I told my boyfriend to pick me up off of the floor again and just burst out in laughter at the feeling of soaring when my feet left the ground. I just remember yelling out at the top of my lungs ďI feel like Jesus!Ē

After having a little dance party we smoked a second hookah bowl and then decided it would be pretty amazing to go up onto the roof and watch the sun rise. Although I was actually terrified of climbing up on the slippery roof I managed to get up to the top and snuggled under a blanket with my boyfriend watching the sky slowly turn a light pink and blue. I was filled with a feeling that everything was right with the world, that I am so happy with everything in my life and I never want this moment to end.

Finally at six in the morning me and my boyfriend headed back to his apartment to try to sleep. On the walk home me and my boyfriend talked about how light out bodies feel, we tried to describe it as feeling empty with your soul floating above you. I was mesmerized when the rising sun created light that hit the rain puddles and glittered a bright beautiful shimmering on the water.

When we got back I was still feeling so amazing that I didnít think I could get to sleep. I laid down in bed with a down comforter on top of me which felt so unbearable soft that I couldnít stop touching it. I laid there staring at the ceiling and felt my eyes jiggling out of control so much that I wouldnít even focus my eyes on one thing. I reached my hand up to my face and felt my jaw chattering uncontrollably. Since neither of us were able to go to sleep at this point, we turned on some music and just laid there, basking in the amazing feeling that still lingered in our bodies.

Laying there my mind and body went on a crazy journey unlike anything I have ever experienced before. At this point I could tell that my body was physically exhausted from dancing for hours and hours but I was still feeling so light that I felt like my body was floating above me, like I was not a part of my own body. I closed my eyes and felt the sensation that my body was moving as if I were on a conveyor belt, or as if I was floating down a river. My mind was looping in the craziest manner, conjuring up strange images in my brain. Trippy cartoon figures, swirling designs, and flashing lights overtook my vision when my eyes were closed. When I stared at the ceiling, my eyes unable to focus, I saw the texture of the ceiling morph into colorful patterns that swirled and melted into each other. I had never had visuals on MDMA, in fact I didnít even think that it was possible. I have had similar visions of moving and morphing patterns on low doses of psychedelic mushrooms. I felt my eyes trembling uncontrollably and I began to get a little anxious, wondering when this would ever stop.

Lying on the bed I felt my stomach churning and started to feel nauseous. I figured that it was just the chemicals in by body and drank some water and tried not to worry about how I was feeling. To be honest, I was wondering if I had taken too much and it was having negative effects on my body. I laid there with my eyes closed and I was in such a strange space that I was feeling very disoriented. I would open my eyes and be confused as to where I was because I kept thinking that I was back at our friendís house still and was confused as to why I was lying there. My mind took strange tangents to the most unused corners of my mind and I found myself literally blurting out random words yet not knowing what I meant. All I knew was that my brain was painting some crazy, trippy visual scenes. This was one of the strangest feelings I have ever experienced. The best way that I can describe it as an awake-dream state where I was awake yet my mind was in a dream, creating the craziest thoughts.

Finally, after about an hour I was finally able to sleep. I slept solidly and woke up around 2 pm the next day, feeling absolutely drained. My jaw was aching and I could feel raw sores on the inside of my cheeks where I had been chewing relentlessly. I felt incredibly spacey and like my brain was definitely not fully functioning. I rolled out of bed and smoked a spliff with my boyfriend. We drank some chai tea, ate bagels and then just laid in bed watching t.v. shows and napping all day, which was a great way to recover.

The next couple of days I actually felt fine as I went to my classes, worked out and did all of my homework as usual. I would start to feel a little bit down and depressed for no reason at some points throughout the day, and at this time I would just smoke some kush and feel fine again. I cannot stop thinking about this amazing, amazing night. I wish that it could have lasted forever, that I could exist in that permanently blissful state. Oh molly, you are the best drug ever.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 85071
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Jul 8, 2010Views: 28,559
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MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Large Group (10+) (19)

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