Citation: hyperspacepilot. "Serious Addiction Potential: An Experience with 4-methylmethcathinone (exp85851)". Erowid.org. Sep 24, 2010. erowid.org/exp/85851
This is a trip report detailing my long term usage and subsequent addiction to the chemical 4-methylmethcathinone, 4-MMC, or simply Mephedrone.
I initially heard about this chemical when searching the internet for legal alternatives to MDMA. I had been a long term user of MDMA and had become very dissatisfied with the quality of tablets I was buying off the streets. Many times I was sure that the pills I was taking did not even contain MDMA at all, or very little of it. Even when I could find 'pure' MDMA powder or crystals, I didn't necessarily trust the source and would question if or what the powder might be cut with. Doing some research online, I found that pills being tested were shown to contain piperazines and other chemicals that were MDMA-like, such as Methylone. I thought to myself, 'What am I doing? I'm taking pills that I don't even know the contents of.' This is what led me to find Mephedrone. I wanted to know what it was I was taking. I didn't want to chance it on pills that contained some cocktail of unknown chemicals anymore.
My first experience was in early 2007. I bought one gram of the powder from an online vendor. The initial dosage I took was on the mild side, only 100mg. This produced a mild euphoria and some slight stimulation. I was pleased with the effects, considering I had only taken 100mg, and that seemed to be on the lighter side of things. The people on different internet forums had been talking about 300mg as a starting dose, and that they could easily do 1 gram in a night out at a rave or a club. Now of course, these people weren't people I knew. They seemed to not care all that much about taking large doses of research chemicals. One person who said 250mg - 300mg was a starting dose also had a trip report on the same forum detailing his experience with a dose of 100mg of 2C-E. That is a very large overdose, and I was shocked to hear that he didn't end up in the hospital or worse. Anyhow, I figured the short duration of effects from my dosage of 100mg of Mephedrone was due to it being only a threshold dose. I was soon to find out that the duration of effects is very short, and is immediately followed by a very strong urge to re-dose.
In the past I had been involved with MDMA, as I mentioned. I had also had a brief, very brief, addiction to cocaine. The first time I insufflated cocaine I was addicted. I fell in love with the drug immediately and my addiction was hard and fast. Thankfully I was able to get myself off cocaine within six months of first trying it. I had spent all the money I had, sold many of my possessions, and lost friends over arguments related to my cocaine usage. I mention this because I feel it is necessary to illustrate that I am familiar with a high level of addiction. The addiction I soon experienced with Mephedrone completely rivaled that short addiction I had previously with cocaine. It absolutely over-shadowed it and made cocaine addiction look like child's play in comparison. The urge to re-dose with Mephedrone was at least five times as strong as cocaine was. But by that time I was already in very deep with the Mephedrone addiction. I even failed to see it for myself, living in denial, for the first six months or so. By that time I was experiencing very disturbing side effects, and was no longer able to deny that I was addicted to a very serious, and possibly very dangerous drug.
After that first one gram bag, which lasted only two weeks, I purchased a ten gram bag from the same supplier. That was a huge mistake, looking back on it now. I had used the first 1 gram bag in a recreational setting with some friends. We all enjoyed it and likened it to MDMA very strongly. A few of my friends said that they would gladly pay for some of it, if I was to order more. So I thought to myself, sure, why not, I can buy a larger amount and sell what I don't want to my friends. The day that the ten gram bag arrived I consumed almost 1 gram within twelve hours. I had tried insufflating the powder but much preferred to take it orally in capsules. I had taken four 200mg capsules within twelve hours without realizing it. My judgment was definitely impaired, and my desire to keep the euphoric feelings going was much stronger than my knowledge that I had to work the next day at 7am. Late that night I decided that I would call in sick the next day, since I had already went a little overboard with the Mephedrone, and stay home so that I could recover and then come back fresh the following morning. I ended up staying awake, constantly re-dosing, until almost 12 noon. I only stopped because my chest began to feel tight, and my hands and feet were feeling unusually cold. I also was experiencing mild visual hallucinations. That frightened me. I thought, 'O.K, I'll take it easy with this stuff from now on.' Easier said than done.
At around 3:30pm. the next day, immediately after work, I took another 200mg capsule. I sat and stared at it sitting on my coffee table for about ten minutes before I decided, 'Just the one today.' By 12 midnight, I had taken an additional three 200mg capsules. At this point I had not sold any to my friends, and was quickly working my way through the ten gram bag. I was beginning to be reminded of the brief war with cocaine addiction I had about a year prior. I thought to myself, 'I won't let that happen again.' I took the next three days off from using the Mephedrone and started to feel like I was back to my normal self. But that bag of powder hidden in my closet; I was always aware that it was there. Every time I walked into my room I was aware of it. That weekend I gave into temptation again and went out with some friends and decided to do 'at the very most' three 200mg capsules of Mephedrone. I did end up selling two and a half grams to some of my friends. I was happy that they were happy. Most of them seemed to have a little more control over the re-dosing than I did, perhaps because they did not have any previous bouts with drug addiction.
The one friend who had never done MDMA or any other drug besides Cannabis, seemed to be in the same boat I was in. He bought one gram that night, and left in the morning with 200mg. I told him about my, albeit limited, experience with Mephedrone and that it can easily sneak up on you. Telling him of my tight chest and cold extremities, as a warning. He, evidently, was smarter than I. He did the 200mg a week or two later, and then said he didn't want to buy any more. He said that he wanted it too much, and that something that felt that good couldn't be good for you. I have to say, he may be right.
As the months went on I was regularly buying ten gram bags of Mephedrone and selling only minimal amounts. Several times I went through the whole ten gram bag myself, in a short period of time. My judgment was severely impaired, and my recollection of those months is still somewhat hazy. I had lost my job and was living with my girlfriend, who was paying for my food and the rent. I eventually ran out of money, and started a small legal highs online store myself. Selling only ethnobotanicals and no research chemicals. At that point in time I was doing Mephedrone for days on end, the longest stretch being 78 hours. I remember that vividly because I had not eaten or slept for those 78 hours and I began to hallucinate and was experiencing extreme paranoia. I would do the drug for days, then take a day or two at most to recover. When taken in such large doses for such a long period of time, I lost all appetite for food. I would drink plenty of water to try to stay hydrated, but I could not force myself to eat until I had comedown from the Mephedrone high.
The euphoria was very short-lived, followed by a longer period of stimulation. The more I re-dosed, the shorter the period of euphoria I experienced, it seemed. And by the time I'd reach one gram or more, I'd be feeling only extreme stimulation, but be hard-pressed to stop myself from taking 'just one more dose'.
After months of staying awake for days, only going outside to get the mail or deliver packages, I decided I needed more money. I started another online business selling piperazines and other research chemicals. Then I was able to make more than enough money to support my Mephedrone habit. I have since stopped selling research chemicals and have stuck with the entheogens/ethnobotanicals. At that point, I realized I had a problem, but couldn't or wouldn't stop. My relationship with my girlfriend was suffering, and yet I continued to take Mephedrone. She didn't even realize I was doing this chemical, I hid it from her successfully until I was finally coming off of it and started to feel guilty about it. I just broke down and told her. She was angry at first, then concerned. When I described the chest pains and other side effects like loss of concentration, my extremities going cold, minor visual distortions (black circular flecks) that lasted for more than a full day after my last dose, she was very worried. I went to see the doctor to get a check up, just to make sure I didn't have any serious medical condition from such prolonged use. I mentioned the drug to the doctor, and he had no idea what it was. I tried to educate him the best I could, because he basically had no idea. He did some blood tests and a complete physical and found nothing seriously wrong. He said that the physical signs, from what he could tell, seemed like an addiction to any stimulant like amphetamines or cocaine. So he told me to get plenty of rest and eat good meals, and if anything like shortness of breath or chest pains happened, to get to an emergency room. Thankfully, I did not experience any further physical symptoms after stopping my usage.
So by the beginning of 2009, when I finally quit, I had been doing Mephedrone steadily for about two years, with no real break. I lost approximately sixty-five pounds. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a much older man. I was still in my mid-twenties, and I looked at least ten years older than that. The only other drug I had been doing during my love affair with Mephedrone was Cannabis. I didn't smoke cigarettes or drink any alcohol (I still don't) and didn't even drink coffee. I would smoke Cannabis when coming down from the Mephedrone to combat the residual stimulation and to try to stimulate my appetite. The addiction definitely took a serious toll on my body, as well as my mental state. I was pale, skinny, and looked older than my years. I now experience anxiety and bouts of depression. These are lasting side effects that don't seem to be going away. Physically I'm alright. But with time, who knows? Not much is known about this drug and ten years from now I could be faced with something much worse than anxiety and depression. I obviously regret becoming addicted to this substance. It happened really fast and was a difficult thing to overcome. Anyone thinking of even trying this substance should be well aware of the addiction potential it has. It can be a pleasurable drug, but it can also be a dangerous one. Be careful and be safe.
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