Citation: bloomless rose. "Never Again Thank You: An Experience with Fluoxetine & Lorazepam (exp86143)". Erowid.org. Jan 24, 2020. erowid.org/exp/86143
After a bad experience with a scheduling change at work that destroyed my sleep schedule and forced me to quit, I developed severe depression and anxiety problems. After about three weeks, in which my sleep schedule would not settle down, and in which I started having unprovoked panic attacks, I presented myself to the local ER and asked for some help. I was given a 1mg Ativan tablet at the ER, just prior to being picked up by a friend, and prescriptions for a bottle of 20 1mg lorazepam tabs, and 10 20mg fluoxetine capsules.
I puked up the first lorazepam tablet in the car on the way home. I puked up the next few at home. I'd take one as directed, it would hit me like a frying pan to the head about half an hour later, and then I would find myself running into things on my way to the bathroom to throw up. Once I noticed they were scored in the middle, I started breaking them in half.
I noticed they were scored in the middle, I started breaking them in half.
The first 0.5mg dose I took, I kept down, and it knocked me out for about 12 hours. One of my roommates came in to check me for vital signs. She says I gurgled in response. I have absolutely no recollection of this. The lorazepam was great for finally getting some sleep, but it was impossible to take it during the day and still retain some semblance of mental or physical function.
After I stopped vomiting up the lorazepam, I started taking the fluoxetine. I took my first dose at bedtime. I was awake for six hours, staring at the ceiling, despite also taking the lorazepam. I switched to taking my dose in the morning. The first day was fine. The second day was less fine. By the third day, gravity was all fucked up and there was a 15kHz test tone reverberating in my skull where my brain used to be. I don't think I had an actual thought for days. On day four, I woke up with tingling in my fingers, toes, and the top of my head.
Around this time, I ran out of the lorazepam, at which point I became fully aware of the akathisic effects of fluoxetine. First I couldn't quite un-tense my shoulders all the way, then my lower back too, then my neck and my upper arms. I went straight back to getting sleep, when I got it, in three hour chunks, waking up curled into a tiny ball with my teeth grinding together whenever anything made any kind of noise nearby.
I would love to tell you about the rest of the week I was on the stuff, but frankly, I don't remember a whole lot of it. Fluoxetine made me into an utter zombie. I stopped taking it cold-turkey when I realized I had forgotten to eat anything for two straight days, and although I had obviously showered and brushed my teeth somewhere within that time frame, I had no recollection of doing so. It took about three days before I could stand still for a while without holding onto something to keep track of which way was up.
All of the side effects I got from the fluoxetine were consisted with a mild OD of anticholinergics. I observed absolutely no reduction in symptoms of anxiety -- in fact, the side effects made me so much tenser and more frustrated with life that I went back to the ER to demand something different.
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