Citation: btherbal. "Incredible Pain but With a Good Outcome: An Experience with Anadenanthera colubrina (exp86191)". Erowid.org. Dec 7, 2016. erowid.org/exp/86191
I am a somewhat experienced individual when it comes to drugs (having smoked marijuana numerous times, dropped lsd once, mdma twice, smoked salvia a few times, taken many different types of amphetamines, opiates, and many different pills, and even had one experience with opium). I may be missing a few but let’s get on with it.
I had discovered yopo/cebil (anedenanthera colubrina were the seeds I got) when searching for legal entheogens to try. Despite the fact that I know I am not too experienced with psychedelics I still wanted to try them. I ordered 50 seeds thinking that amount would be enough for more than just a couple experiments. They came in, but it ended up being almost a month until I first tried to experiment with them, I had done my homework on what to expect when snorting these so I thought I was completely ready to trip from these little seeds. Man was I wrong!
Since it was my first time I decided to use 3 of the yopo seeds (this may not be a good beginner’s dose, who knows). As I said before; I had done my homework on these seeds so I was sure I knew exactly how to prepare them. Even though everything I’ve read says you need to put the seeds on a stove until they pop like popcorn; I’m lazy, so I decided to just put them in the microwave for 30 seconds, check them, and then put them in for another 20 seconds. Since I could almost smell a hint of a burning smell from these (peanut-smell) seeds, I made the assumption they were ready.
Now it was time to peel off that outer layer of the 3 seeds; this wasn’t too hard (once I figured out how to cut them a little then slide the outer layer off it was pretty easy). Next, they were smashed into a pretty fine powder then I added some baking soda (I didn’t have the lime that the majority of people say to use), about a 4:1 ratio of yopo to baking soda. After that I needed to put a tiny bit of water into the mix, I didn’t have an eyedropper so I had to do this in a very mediocre way but to make sure I didn’t put too much water; I filled a glass with a tiny bit of water then stuck my finger in the cup to get it wet and quickly move my finger over the yopo mixture and try to get some water to drip off my finger. Once again, not the most educated way to do it but it got the job done. I mixed it all up with my finger and a razor (not very smart!) for about five or ten minutes. I put the plate with yopo mix on it in front of a fan & let it sit for around 4 hours (checking on it and mixing it all up together every 20 minutes or so). The powder seemed as dry as it was possibly going to get after 4 hours, so I decided it was time to begin.
During the trip, I was in a room I was comfortable with, and felt it was the perfect room to have this experience in. There was no one to bother me so I suppose I felt comfortable at first. I had read that these little suckers have a very painful (almost unbearable) burn to them when snorted. But I have snorted various pills in the past so I figured I could handle it fine.
As the time got closer for the trip I started getting a little anxious, so I had to turn on some good ole’ Modest Mouse and just calm myself down. I had a box of tissues and a bucket right beside of me (knowing of the intense nausea these seeds cause) on the bed I was going to be laying on while tripping. I looked around, took some deep breaths, and felt I was ready and it was time to get this thing on the road.
Note that I had not written down any kind of trip report at the time of the experience, so this timed experience is from the best of my knowledge of how things went:
I snorted the yopo powder somewhere around 8 p.m.
+0.00: The powder did not burn as bad as I anticipated, so I lay back awaiting the effects.
+1.00: I definitely knew something was coming, my nose was burning but nothing I couldn’t take, and there was almost a feeling of being lifted on an elevator while laying still.
+1.45: BAM! A HUGE body load just hit me; it felt like my body weighed 10000 pounds and had a sensation of millions of bugs crawling under my skin. At first these feelings weren’t irritating or uncomfortable. But after about 20 seconds of the feeling being there it turned into a very horrible feeling that I did not like AT ALL. I still had the elevator feeling, but now it almost felt as though my head was spinning also, and I got pretty dizzy.
+3.00: After just several seconds, once again; BAM! The nausea hit me like a fucking train, and god damn was it horrible, probably one of the most aggravating nauseous feelings I have ever had in my life, it felt like I had to vomit, it would come up and come up, then right when I get the bucket because I feel it coming, it (the vomit) would drop back down to my stomach then start coming up again, that process just kept repeating itself, jesus christ it had to be one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life.
+3.50: The nausea just kept repeating that same process, until I finally grabbed the bucket and just pushed with all my might, and it almost seemed like a fucking river of vomit flowed out of my mouth (it was a pretty large amount). After all that shit got out I laid back & just let out this huge groan that felt amazing (there was still an incredible nauseous feeling though). Right after I let that groan out I realized I was sweating very badly; the sweat was just pouring from every part of my body, it felt like it was 103 degrees in that damn room. I knew the effects had started so I blew my nose.
At the same time that I was getting the shit out of my nose, there was a feeling I don’t know how to fully explain it but I had an incredible anxious feeling but it wasn’t completely a mental anxiety, it felt like an intense physical anxiety where I could literally feel the anxiety all over my body, nothing has ever made my body feel like that, it was horrid that I would never wish it on anybody. Also, there was a prickly, stinging feeling all over my body but I felt it the most on my face (note: this was all happening very quickly and basically almost at the same time). I started regretting ever snorting those devil seeds.
+5.00: As all these horrible things were happening I realized that I haven’t tried to pay attention to the trip part of this experience. I tried to turn my mind set off of the pain and towards the actual trip. And after I mentally forced myself to do this I could notice more than just the pain (don’t get me wrong, the pain was still there and incredibly uncomfortable).
Now for the good stuff: the first thing I did was look around this tiny room & the wall on the far end from where I was looked as if it was getting farther and farther away from me and just stretching in a way. Then I thought to myself “wait I’m supposed to see the real crazy shit when I close my eyes”. So I rolled over, still in pretty horrid pain but trying my best to ignore it, and I covered myself up with a blanket (I don’t know why I did; I was still sweating. My head wasn’t working properly I guess) then closed my eyes & pushing my face into a pillow. The CEV’s I saw were incredible but very hard to explain, so here it goes: it wasn’t like the colors and geometric shapes I have read in other experiences. The first thing I saw was, well it looked like infinite neon blue lightning bolts flashing around like a strobe light, but the incredible thing was how clear, detailed, and bright it was. It amazed me, in fact I wouldn’t really describe it as lightning, I would describe it more as never ending 4-dimensional lights (how light would exist in the fourth dimension), words are not able to describe what it was, it was out of this world. I watched this amazing image for about a minute then I opened my eyes.
+6.20: Unfortunately I did not see any major open eyed visuals; but when I opened my eyes I (for some odd reason) did not feel like I knew exactly where I was, like the room didn’t really seem too familiar to me. I was curled up because the pain I was in, but when laid there and just stared at the wall it just looked like it flowing away from me, then I changed my point of view and looked at the lamp that was lighting the room (it was pretty dimly lit, not too bright), and as I was looking at the lamp, I saw the light slowly fade from dull to bright, it was to the point to where the whole room looked incredibly bright, & as the light brightened so did my perspective on this experience and my perspective on how my life was at the point in time. I still felt physical pain but mentally I felt a little bit happier yopo.
A sudden thought hit me saying yopo is a very strong psychedelic and it can/will bring you pain and suffering but if you can withstand it then it can help you in some way if you accept it and let it do its job. At that point it was a sort of mental relief where I knew the rest of the trip would be easier and better (it definitely wasn’t a physical relief but I could tell all the pain I was in would start to calm down very slowly but surely). After I realized all of this mentally, I tried to lay there and relax the best I could. Then came the REAL mental trip….
+8.00: This was when the real mental trip. This phase of the trip was very odd (but interesting when I look back on it) so I will try my best to explain what happened: Of course the physical pain was still there, but it was slowly fading away so I now had the chance to just basically fall into the psychedelic mental phase of the trip. So I lay there just thinking about what is going on right now & all of a sudden something hit me and I felt like I was not the only soul/human being in the room I was in.
I suddenly thought there was a grandma and grandpa hospitality feeling all around me, since I was in pain it seemed like there was a grandma type of figure trying to take care of me like a child, and the grandpa like figure was just sitting in the chair just watching me to make sure I am alright. If I would actually look around the room I wouldn’t see them but if I lay there and mentally relax they would be visually visible in my mind, basically seeing and feeling the grandma and grandpa souls being there without physically looking for them, they would be there when I let my mind take hold. For a while, I got lost in the feeling of having them in there with me. Then after I knew they were there, suddenly in my mind I observed and could notice everything around me just in my mind, every single thing; the bed, room, all the belongings and furniture, just everything that was in that one room I noticed. I believe I was at a higher level of consciousness during this time.
One thing I realized NOW that I could not realize during this point in the trip is that whenever I was in this mentally higher level my mind was working at the speed of light while my ego was almost completely gone; my brain was acting in a much more complex way than the brain usually thinks
my brain was acting in a much more complex way than the brain usually thinks
, I look back on it now realizing that even though I looked brain dead at the time, my brain was working at the highest level possible, almost alien-like.
It felt like I was in that higher state of mind for an eternity when it was only actually around 4 minutes. After that the complex mind slowly went away and I just laid there for what felt like forever just thinking about a lot of things in my personal life. I just thought and thought and thought about things.
(Note: during the whole mental aspect of the trip I was still having pretty bad physical pains and some nausea but I just dealt with it and let my mind float free as you’ve read above. And also, some of these things I have wrote about, specifically the higher consciousness, I didn’t realize had happened until after the trip, during the trip my mind was just working on its own so I (me, myself, my ego) at the time could not completely comprehend all that was happening).
+21.00: After laying there my brain was starting to come back to me and at this time few parts of my mind were in a different place and I noticed that the physical pains were FINALLY dying completely down, and I could actually move around without getting nauseous. It felt amazing to not have those pains anymore. For the next couple minutes I just laid there thinking “what just happened”.
+25.00: I got up and left the room, walked into the living room where my cousin is and I explain to him what just happened. For around an hour after that I just enjoyed a pretty good feeling afterglow that felt like a tiny weed buzz with a pinch of nausea every now and then. For some odd reason during the afterglow when I would walk around there would be a sharp pain in my leg, but it was gone after half an hour. For the next couple hours I just thought about the trip.
(Note: The whole “trip” lasted around 20 minutes, the trip felt like forever but in reality it wasn’t too long. It distorted time & during the trip I couldn’t comprehend every single thing that happened, but later after the trip it was much easier for me to recall what had happened)
The time log in this trip report may not be completely accurate, but it is close (to my knowledge).
Yopo is not a drug to underestimate, it put me through some of the worst pains in my life, and then it turned around and showed me some remarkable things. From what I see, it can be a powerful psychedelic or it can be a powerful poison. Personally, I do not know if I will try yopo again, when I look back at it, it showed me some pretty damn amazing things I could never imagine. But then again, it put me in some of the worst pain I have ever been in. I doubt I will do it again because yopo seems like a type of entheogen for insight on life, the brain, and just the unthinkable.
When I think about it now, when I was tripping it kind of showed me to cherish and be thankful for some of the things I have more because it took me to a painful hell making me think “I will do anything for this to end right now please I will do anything”. Then it showed me what fourth-dimensional light looks like, how other souls can be with me visually-mentally, how I can observe everything around me mentally, what a alien-like higher conscious is like, and how complex a brain can be at its fullest potential.
I may try yopo again, if I do I will know what to expect and be ready. One thing I know is yopo is not a recreational drug, unless you find intense nausea and hellish physical pains fun. Yopo can be a devil, or it can be a teacher. Pain and knowledge. That is all.
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