Citation: psychonaughty. "How Much Acid Was That Exactly?: An Experience with LSD & MDMA (exp86266)". Erowid.org. Jun 14, 2018. erowid.org/exp/86266
||(powder / crystals)
Allow me to share a recent experience that was unexpected but illuminating and mostly fun. The short version of the story is that I tripped harder on acid than ever before, and that's saying something considering I've taken LSD at least a hundred times, probably two hundred or more (so many I've lost count).
My wife (A) and I had planned to go to a small outdoor music festival a couple of hours from home for a night and a day. I bought beer and food, loaded the cooler, and we headed out when she got off work early in the afternoon. Our plans changed, though, because three or four friends that had been interested in riding along or meeting up with us at the festival all backed out. We were about 45 minutes from the festival, just starting to lose cell reception, when a friend that lived in the town we had just passed called. Long story short, we decided to bail on the festival and go hang out with W at his place and trip.
We met up and discussed the plan. A and I decided to take acid (W had some really good liquid) and a little bit of MDMA. Before dosing we all went to dinner at a brewpub and had a couple of beers. We arrived back at W's house around 8 and put the plan in motion. W is usually in possession of some really exceptional acid, stuff that is several times more concentrated than even the (still pretty good) acid I'm used to getting.
T + 0: A took a drop from the nearly-empty vial, and I could only get about a half drop out. I definitely wanted to take at least a whole dose, so partly at W's suggestion I filled the vial with fruit juice and drank the rest of the liquid. I can't remember if it didn't occur to me that doing so would yield a dose of at least five or six hits of the strongest acid I've tried (which is probably equivalent to twenty or so hits of the kind of acid I usually eat), or if I consciously decided that taking a lot would be fine even though I hadn't planned to. Usually I am meticulous about dosing, even if I plan to eat a fair amount. On this occasion, I had a go-with-the-flow, 'whatever' kind of attitude about it. Immediately after dosing I also took a pinky fingertip worth of molly (probably about 100mg).
What happened next is unusual. Typically the hour or so after dosing is spent with an increasing waking energy, but on this occasion I went nearly immediately to sleep. I had been physically tired leading up to dosing and I think this contributed. I think also the dose was so high that it put me very quickly into a trance state. I remember only being awake a few minutes before passing out hard (T + 00:05). At this point all time reference points are approximate.
I drifted in and out of sleep for maybe an hour. At one point I woke up long enough to hear W make a joking comment like, 'A, your husband is weird, he takes drugs and then goes to sleep.' For a while A and W watched TV while I descended deeper into a trance. At some point they made some azurescens tea with about an eight of mushrooms. They split it equally but I only drank about three sips so I don't think it contributed much to my trip. At some point I slipped into a combined state of ego death and dreaming. I was taken far from my normal sense of self at times.
T + 03:00. For a while I traveled through a sequence of personifications, experiencing existence as other people I knew or knew of. This phase was quite interesting because it gave me a great deal of insight into why people behave as they do. I felt I was being shown the essential set of personality traits in each person and their most basic motivations and purposes. The experience was very immersive - I felt myself a part of these other people in a way that is difficult to explain. My ego was being broken down thoroughly, but for some reason I was not searching for reference points of self, rather I was content to exist as others for a little while. I was travelling through a +++ and towards a ++++.
T + 4:00. At some point this series of incarnations made me have strong realizations about myself and my own essential identity and character. I realized that deep down I am a diplomat and peacemaker, someone uniquely capable of helping draw boundaries in personal relationships and mediating between others in their conflicts or catalyzing their fruitful interaction. These realizations built to a near orgasm of life insight - I felt I was being shown a vision of the rest of my life.
I felt I was being shown a vision of the rest of my life.
Involved with this vision was an overwhelming feeling that something tremendous had happened, that the normal laws of reality had been suspended. I remember having the idea, at one point, that I had been given the choice to die but had decided to remain alive, and that for this to happen time had stopped and some supernatural force had interceded (enter a ++++ state).
The idea of death was not entirely a fabrication of my brain. I was tripping hard enough that I no longer had a sense of having ingested a drug, but I knew on some level that a drug had been involved. At one point I could feel my heart beating extremely fast (what felt like close to 200 beats a minute) and for a couple or a few minutes I had the idea that I was overloading. Strangely enough there was no anxiety or fear attached to this notion. I simply lay back calmly, submitting to whatever would happen. I started to sweat profusely.
T + 4:30. Around this time I started to trip hard enough that I was periodically blacking out. In fact I can only remember about five or ten minutes of the period between 10pm and 2am. I had tripped this hard once or twice before (on ayahuasca) but never on acid, even though I really like to eat acid. This is where things started to get a little strange. When I had fallen asleep/gone into a trance I had started to dream. Then when I woke up tripping my nuts off, my mind conflated my dream world and my normal waking reality. As part of the spiritual experience and sense of near-death and suspension of time, I became convinced that a somewhat fantastic reality would soon come true, and that in order to facilitate it I had to convince someone (mainly my wife) of some of these things.
The dream reality is hard to describe because it involves so many seemingly random people and events in my life pieced into a narrative that (at the time) seemed perfectly sensible. A few highlights are worth repeating, though. A major theme was the first girl I fell in love with, call her B. I was convinced, among other things, that (even though we had a falling out a while back and haven't spoken since) that at some point soon (whether that night or in the coming days) she would show up with a large amount (like a kilo) of cocaine (?!) and we would all get high and have good sex. A male friend that shared the same name also featured - I thought he, too, would soon show up with cocaine. Even though this friend (B2) and another (D) were at the festival we had planned to go to, I became certain that they would show up at any moment, even though they had never been to the house where we were staying. I was so convinced I even called D's name several times at different points, leaving A and W to wonder exactly what was going on in my head. For about an hour I was narrating this sexual-and-drug-fantasy-tinged dream to my wife as I floated in and out of a deep trance state.
This situation was slightly embarrassing of course but my wife wasn't very upset because she knew I was not my normal self. For a little while, when I started to sweat and rant, A (wife) was slightly worried about me and whether I had suffered some kind of mental break. W, who has more experience with people being extremely high, reassured her that there was nothing to worry about. And, really, there wasn't. I was extremely high, but not in any distress.
I was extremely high, but not in any distress.
It was good that I had experienced sitters around because I might had tried something silly (not necessarily harmful but just troublesome). It was a good example of the importance of not creating fear with someone who is deeply altered. My wife cold have reacted angrily or with stern questions and concern, and this probably would have put me into a bad state of mind. But instead, she listened with kindness and put her hands on my arm and just waited for me to return to normal, which I did before long.
T + 5. Eventually the dream state ended and I settle back into a more normal sense of reality, albeit still tripping harder than in a long time. The visuals were extreme, often covering my field in vision in multiple layers so that I could barely make sense of what I was looking at. We went out for a few minutes of fresh air and the sky was amazing. The stars looked far brighter than normal and all looked interconnected.
From about T + 6 to T + 10 I lay in bed with A, physically nearly exhausted an on the verge of sleep but kept awake by a still active mind. When we all arose around 8am each of us could tell the others were still powerfully affected. We each drank a bloody mary, had some breakfast, and went back to sleep for several hours.
I woke up (T+16) STILL tripping fairly hard. The visuals were no longer overwhelming but were definitely present and I still felt somewhat disoriented. We went for an hour hike and when I got back to W's house I still did not feel normal but had no qualms about driving.
The drive home was uneventful (mostly easy highway miles). When we got to the outskirts of our city I decided to take a new route to get to our house from the interstate. At one point I missed a turn and ended up driving around in a big loop in unfamiliar territory for twenty minutes. I thought to myself 'am I still tripping?' but soon made it back to the usual road without much trouble.
Upon arriving home I spilled onto the couch in my basement in front of my stereo and passed out almost immediately. I was quite wiped out from the intensity of the experience, and slept from 8pm until about 11am the next day. After a good night's rest I was able to make sense out of what happened (the strange dream-reality overlay) though at the time it had caught me off guard.
I have no regrets about the experience even though I had not intended to trip that hard. It was actually pretty fun, and I learned a lot about myself. I probably won't trip that hard again in the near future, but I plan to keep taking LSD with moderate regularity as I have for the last four or five years. That said, though, pay careful attention to your dosages. Psychedelics are powerful, and I am certain that a less experienced person or a person without as comforting a setting could have had a bad trip and suffered lasting trauma.
Be careful and respectful, but seek knowledge! Peace...
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