Clinging to Sanity
2C-E
Citation:   A mob's ending. "Clinging to Sanity: An Experience with 2C-E (exp86345)". Erowid.org. Oct 8, 2010. erowid.org/exp/86345

 
DOSE:
20 mg oral 2C-E (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb
In high school, I experimented greatly with all sorts of drugs. None of them were productive experiences and nearly all were given to me with the sentence 'Here try this, it'll fuck you up'. Now that I am older, I've begun experimenting again towards more productive, exploratory means. I had just acquired 500mg of 2c-e through a vendor a few days prior, I already had a scale that a friend used for methlyone, and had a friend (D) that wanted to try as well. My wife (M) and the friend's boyfriend (F) were our trip-sitters. I measured out 16mg for D and 20mg for myself (as we have experience with mind-altering substances, and I have specific experience with 2c-e as well at lower doses), drank them down with water at 3:30pm on an empty stomach, and waited for the come-up.

I noticed alerts nearly right away and advised D that she would too. D sat on my computer while I played around with M's computer preparing music for the trip. About 40 minutes in, M and I both began noticing the first visuals: walls seeming to breathe, lights seeming a bit brighter than normal. D started to feel somewhat confused, and F worked to comfort her. I lied down on the floor due to the body load increasing (I almost always get nauseated on substances, so this is not too abnormal for me), figuring it would go away shortly. It did not.

I heard D repeating a few phrases in the other room, mostly 'what's happening', 'where's R' (R being me), 'I don't understand', which eventually became a meaningless echoing noise. M went in to try to help D. By this point I knew I was going to be sick, so I went to the bathroom and vomited. This went very poorly, as my vomiting was so violent that my throat became raw and bleeding, and I starting choking while vomiting.

It is worth noting here that being unable to breathe is a signficant fear of mine.

I was far from everyone else in the house and unable to get help. I started to panic, and the trip was entering what I thought at the time was it's peak. I was unable to breathe for at least 20 seconds. I finally managed to calm myself and clear my throat.

After cleaning my face and brushing my teeth, I walk back out to the living room. M enters the room from the other side at nearly the same moment and asks if I am ok. The adrenaline from feeling like I nearly died was enough to sober me up a bit for the moment. I got some water and talked to M about D for a while. D had injected other phrases into her looping (such as 'I hate C' [F's ex] and 'Facebook' sometimes as an exclamation, sometimes as a question). I attempted to go in and help her for a while, but I quickly realized that her panicked tone was making me worse, and left the room. I ended up fearing that room for the entirety of the trip.

I came back out into the living room and realized I was breathing heavily. I tried to catch my breath and lied down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. M came out and lied down with me to try to comfort me. Right as I was starting to complain about still feeling ill, the true peak began. The white ceiling began during various blues and reds, the music began to echo and pan in my head, and I hit the moment of 'holy shit, this is why I took this'. I asked M to turn the bass up, as I noticed the treble felt unusual (synethesia). The bass temporarily turned my body load into a +++ body high. I was feeling great. My wife is with me, the universe is with me, life is with me.

M goes in to check on D again. I wander in thought to myself on the floor, and somewhere it all goes wrong. My thoughts turn depressing and apathetic towards the world. Unusually, I cannot remember any specific thoughts I had here, just that they got very bad and that I was losing my grip on things. I wanted to scream but couldn't bring myself to. I finally jump to my feet and walk over towards the kitchen. Eating something will make me feel better. Water will make me feel better. Something, anything.

I begin absently eating crackers, hoping it'll calm my stomach or help the trip subside. I drink water. I notice that as I wash out a cup, the water looks almost syrupy when I pour it out of the clear, plastic cup. I look at the clock. It is 5:45. I've only been tripping for about an hour. I enter the state of worry that I will never be sober again, that I will be on this drug forever. How will I go to work? How will I talk to my family or friends? I'll be locked up, I'll be shunned, I will never connect with another soul again. Looking back, I believe I was nearing ego death. I start to panic. I have to begin repeating to myself that this is a temporary trip. I will come down. I did this to myself. I wanted this. Buy the ticket, take the ride.

I go back to the living room floor and attempt to lie down again. I begin hearing this loud humming/whirring sound echoing endlessly. It sounds like an airplane in a tunnel. It keeps getting louder and louder, changing tone and direction. What is it?? I get up and try to find the noise. I think it's my computer. I turn my computer off. I still hear it. I turn off every electronic device that I can and it's STILL THERE. I go into the bathroom to lie down and avoid the noise. I get lost in destructive, paranoid thought again. I consider calling a friend that has benzos to help calm me down. This trip is too much. How is this too much? I've done plenty of other drugs before and I know what I am doing in my own head. What is the problem?

I decide to get up and check the scale. Was it broken? Did I just read it wrong? I take out the scale and the test weight it comes with. The test weight is 2g, it registers as
1.998. That's fairly close, probably just a rounding problem with the scale. I weigh a brand-new penny (which is supposed to weigh 250mg). 248mg. What is the problem? I take out a dose of 15mg MDPV that F had measured out for himself at home to compare it with. It registers as 8mg.

Fuck.

I zero out the scale, reset it, try again. 8mg.

Fuck.

I measure all of the 2c-e, using an identical empty bag to zero the scale.

424mg left in the bag.

Means D and I, combined, took ~76mg.

FUCK.

D comes out at this time and talks about how everything is alive. Her new loop has become putting her shoes on, attempting to drink water, heading towards the door, stopping as though she has forgotten something, removing her shoes, sitting down, getting up, attempting to drink water, etc. She has begun having difficulty identifying who she is, or who each of us are, often calling us by the names of other friends. This calms me down; if she's doing ok I should be too. We probably took similar amounts, so if she is ok, I'll be ok.

I decide to brave going for a short walk. M accompanies me. I am having lots of trouble communicating what I am thinking or what I mean to say, and everything looks like it is a group of 2-dimensional objects placed in front of each other. Colors are very exaggerated, and the clouds are casting shadows. Sounds pan around me and seem to almost leave visual trails.

My roommate comes home and recognizes we are tripping hard, so he fucks with me a little bit while he comes out to make food. The food he makes smells really good, so F and I decide to go to McDonald's for some cheap food. F needed a break from trip-sitting anyway. He had taken the MDPV shortly before leaving, hoping the hyper-focus will allow him to better pay attention to D and be interested in her saying the same ~10 things for hours.

While we are driving there (he is driving, I am not), he begins to feel anxiety and freaking out from the MDPV. The experience jars me. I begin imagining us driving out of control and crashing. Being pulled over by police and going to jail. Him having a heart attack and dying. [Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

After a few seconds, he calms down, but I'm shaken. I have difficulty in ordering food (I apparently left off which number I specifically wanted each time I tried to order). I eventually get it out. We head home.

It is approximately 10pm by this point. When we walk in the door, D is lying on the floor. J says her name and she half sits up, stares at him blankly for a second, and lies back down. She does this for the rest of the night: occasionally responding to external stimuli but barely saying anything (and not making much sense when she does). We attempt to watch TV; the show that comes on is a horror of some kind, and it makes me find my entire apartment scary. I ask to change it after a few minutes. F plays silly SNES ROMs; this keeps me calmed.

By 1am I am mostly back to normal, but experiencing the general sense of discomfort that goes with 2ce comedowns. D still is silent. I keep F company while M goes to sleep, as she is exhausted. F and I try a few methods to gently get D's attention. She seems more frequently to be attempting to get up, as though she hears something or is surprised. We eventually decide to leave her to her world, as she is likely just still tripping very hard. F and I begin to worry greatly. It's been nearly 10 hours and she is still completely withdrawn, and has been for hours. We decide that we will keep an eye on her and if she is not up and cognizant by 12 hours, we will have no choice but to call a hospital. Thankfully, she sat up on her own at around 3am, seemingly snapping completely back to normal. After confirming she was fine, I went to bed but was unable to sleep/get comfortable until nearly 8am. I felt very tired the entire next day and still have a headache 2 days later.

To characterize the entire trip, it would be a constant echo. Sight echoed. Touch echoed (the most unpleasant experience of this was petting the cat, as it felt like the cat hair stayed on my hand for several minutes). Sound would echo, pan, flange, and distort; within seconds what I was hearing was no longer related to what I originally heard.

This was a very very high dose that I never intended to do and do not advise to anyone. While the visuals were intense at their peak, and while D had a very revelatory experience (that she was not prepared for), I worry that unsupervised I would have harmed myself and that even under supervision, someone could have the potential to do themselves or others great physical harm, to say nothing of the chance of a psychotic break. While the ability to enjoy my trip was likely affected by my concern for D, I do not think it would have been much better if that were not the case.

Be careful.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 86345
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Oct 8, 2010Views: 8,160
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2C-E (137) : Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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