DOSE:

Salvia divinorum

(extract - 10x)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

This is a story I wrote trying to describe what happened.

It all happened so fast. I took a couple deep breaths and calmed myself down. Nothing really happened at first, until I closed my eyes.

And then I fell. Not down or up, not left or right. It was as if I fell through myself, and time fell parallel to me. It was all a blur, but held a common sense of déjà vu. All at once, I felt every emotion that I ever felt throughout my childhood. Blurry images of friends and enemies surrounded me, all speaking unintelligibly, yet I understood. Everything started to fade, and I was surrounded by green grass and blue sky.

It took me a second to realize where I was. I was in the backyard of the home I lived in when I was five years old. I look around and saw my little brother playing on a swing. I watched him swing a little bit, but I soon became jealous of his swing. I yelled, “Its my turn to swing!” Right as I started running towards the swing, the setting changed. My jealousy was forgotten, and my brother and the swing were gone.

My eyes, still adjusting to the light, were trying to make out my blurry surroundings, but my ears were faster. As soon as I heard the familiar monotonous singing, and silence beyond, I knew exactly where I was. I was in church. I felt pressure on my arm and saw my dad’s stern look as I turned my head. I was supposed to be singing. Immediately, I began to sing the words of the song that I had heard and sung so many times before. I started feeling the confusion and frustration that I knew so well. Once again the setting changed. The voices became more and more distant and everything became blurry again.

The walls were enclosing, more and more. Right as I started to panic, they stopped. I looked around. I was in our computer room in my old house. As I looked down, I saw my hands typing, and as I looked at the monitor, I saw pictures of nude women filling up the screen. I felt curiosity burning, and my guilt was increasing. But as I reached for the mouse, the setting changed.

Suddenly, the sounds of screeching trumpets and flutes filled my ears. I listened to the shockingly awful musicians while waiting for my eyes to adjust. I soon realized that I was in my 6th grade band class. The students stopped playing abruptly and as I looked to the front of the room, I saw the anger in my teacher’s eyes and he yelled and screamed at me to stop sitting around and play my part. The humiliation of all the eyes staring at me soon turned on a new rebellious flame inside me. I angrily walked to the door, but as I was about to grab the handle, the door was gone and a wall was in its place. I turned around, and I realized that everything was gone. I was surrounded my pitch black.

Fear bubbled up inside me. I desperately ran around searching for a door. When I knew that there wasn’t one, I screamed in hopes that someone would hear. But my scream was cut short when I felt my feet melting through the ground. Slowly, I sank further and further until I completely fell out of the darkness. I looked around and realized that I was in a canyon at night, but this time I did not recognize my surroundings.

I saw several glowing dots in the distance. As they came closer, I knew what they were. They were the faces of every single person that has ever evoked an emotion in me. Once again, I felt a rush of every emotion that I have ever felt. Jealousy and thankfulness; love and hate; joy, pleasure, and sympathy; sadness, anger, and frustration. I could not bare it. My hands smothered my ears as I screamed at the top of my lungs, trying to drown out the omniscient yelling of all the glowing faces.

I ran and ran, with no destination as the yelling became louder and louder. But then I saw a door. I stood in the middle of nothing; it was not an entrance to any visible room or building, and no walls surrounding it. But the yelling got louder and I had no choice but to run to the door. The glowing faces tried to block the door. I ran and yelled as I have shoved all the faces aside. I grabbed the handle and when I threw the door open, my eyes were opened.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 86607
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Mar 11, 2020	Views: 548
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Salvia divinorum (44) : General (1), Unknown Context (20)