Citation: Swell. "Just Another Day in Paradise: An Experience with MDMA (exp86807)". Erowid.org. Jul 14, 2018. erowid.org/exp/86807
||(powder / crystals)
||(powder / crystals)
Seeing as this is my first so-called trip report, I'm not entirely sure where to begin, so Ill just get right to it.
My first experience with MDMA was spontaneous and unplanned. It was a beautiful and sunny Saturday in August, and I was over at my friend D’s house. D had thrown a small party the last night (that I had unfortunately been unable to attend), and most of my best friends were there, albeit very hungover.
Anyways, everyone was sitting outside, idly smoking and sharing stories/trying to piece together what had happened the night before. To give some brief background, my friend G is an experienced MDMA user and always sings its praises. He was telling me about how my other friend B had tried to score some “Molly” (that is, pure MDMA) from him last night but he didn’t want to wake his dealer.
I asked him if he could get some now that it was morning. He could. Two phone calls and half an hour later, and I am sitting in front of 100mg of Molly in a gel capsule and another 100mg cut into five small lines on the back of a Pineapple Express DVD case. G shows me how to roll a $20 bill so that it won’t unroll in your hands and I begin.
The molly snorts easier than coke, but burns much more. Being a tad bit of a masochist, I love the burn and am disappointed when it subsides after a few minutes. I then take the capsule with a can of soda. We sit and talk for a while longer, then G asks B for a ride home to shower. I eagerly agree to accompany them, hoping to be near G when I start to come up. I placebo a lot on the ride to G’s house, trying to convince myself I am coming up when really I am not. We drop G off and I climb into the front seat.
B has to drive to Dick’s (a sporting goods store) to buy binoculars for come reason. Still excited and jittery for the roll to begin, I accompany him inside. I’m standing at the binocular case when the Molly kicks in. An orgasmic rush of warmth flows up my spine, into my neck, and gravity can no longer hold me. I lose 135lbs over the course of two minutes. My field of vision widens to 180 degrees and I can feel my pupils beginning to dilate. An ethereal and sparkly mist hangs over everything, obscuring nothing yet somehow still visible. The mist isnt so much a visual as an intensification of the ambient light and a result of my rapid change in perception. I begin to bounce up and down on my feet, feeling invincible and overflowing with happiness. I flit around B as he picks up the binoculars and we head to the checkout.
Standing in line is the hardest thing to do at this point. I vibrate around and pick up various objects off the shelves, feeling their wonderful textures. One of my favorites is a small rubber ball filled with liquid and covered in tiny rubber spines.
I know that I am visibly intoxicated, and everyone in line seems aware to some degree of my buoyant mood and unconventional behavior. I just do not care, which is a big deal for me, since I am usually obsessed with how others perceive me- even strangers. I feel freer than I ever have at this moment. I even flirt with the cute cashier who rings us up which, again, is a major change for me.
As we leave the store, I am grinning ear-to-ear and practically weightless. When we are in B’s car a few moments later, he puts a CD on and cranks up the volume. The pumping beats of the techno fill me with energy and euphoria. I cannot resist frenetically pumping my fist and bobbing my head to the music. I grin, fully aware of how ridiculous I must look but loving every minute of this wonderful chemical.
B drives us around town for a while, ending with us picking up G and heading back to D’s house. G and D leave again, leaving me with D and our other friend L. D and L are playing video games, and I join in. It is hard to keep track of whats going on in the game and I keep getting distracted by how fascinating my surroundings are. The right angles and corners of the walls seem particularly interesting, and the patterns on the wood are strikingly perfect.
After another half-hour or so the high shifts down a few gears. The frantic must-dance attitude drifts away, leaving a deep contentment and intense yet gentle euphoria. It becomes easier to focus. Conversation flows more effortlessly than it ever has before. Almost a filter between my thoughts and my speaking that I never knew was there had been removed. Eventually we all pile into L’s car and head to the mall to buy a poster.
The drive is very relaxing and my high continues to shift into a more philosophical mode. The landscape is achingly beautiful and I am aware of every little detail that would normally escape my attention. Trees ripple in the breeze and the sight sparks feelings of divinity. The three of us begin talking about life and purposes, about energy and matter and vibrations. God and light and the shadow of the human psyche. The conversation is deeply fulfilling, and I feel incredibly in-tune with those around me.
When we arrive at the mall I discover yet another quality of the MDMA; movement is effortless. I am walking more gracefully and easily than I ever thought was possible. Another interesting thing I noticed is that women seemed drawn to me. Every one that passed me smiled back, with many even going so far as to strike up conversations or make flirty remarks as we went by. Its marvelous what can happen when one sends out such pure, positive vibes.
On the way back to D’s, the effects decreased in potency (it was 4 or so hours since ingestion). The comedown was worlds apart from cocaine or other such “happy drugs”. As the chemical’s effects gradually wore off my own warm glow and serenity of spirit replaced them. I was not bothered with wanting more of the drug, nor did I once think about re-dosing.
We played several rounds of disc golf on the way back. Despite not having played in months, my game was vastly superior to what it normally is. Trees still caught my attention as they had previously, and it felt absolutely breathtaking to be surrounded by nature.
Later in the night when it was time for me to drive back home, music still deeply moved me. I drove aimlessly around town for at least another hour, listening to Jamiroquai at high volume and reveling in the clear night air.
I slept very well that night.
The next morning I awoke to a clear mind. No traces of negativity or an unpleasant hangover were anywhere in sight. In fact, the hangover is almost as good as the drug itself. I blissfully went about my morning, immediately going outside and sitting in the grass. Drinking apple juice and contemplating trees was the simplest and most organic of life’s pleasures.
In the future I will not make any important decisions while on MDMA, nor the day after. Later that Sunday night I made a very stupid decision about opiate dosage, still being caught up in the warm everything-is-all-right glow of that morning, and ended up on death’s doorstep. Luckily, everything turned out all right…
Finally. This is a very potent drug. I think, like all drugs, it should be treated with the utmost respect. If one allows it, it can take one to new heights and connect one with humanity and nature in a most beneficial way. They say that one dose of MDMA is worth three good months of psychotherapy. And I am inclined to agree with that statement. Since my trip, I have been a happier and more good-natured person. MDMA showed me a lot about myself.
Hopefully you found what you were seeking in my words.
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