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A Bad Experience, But Not Without Merit
Salvia divinorum (20x extract)
Citation:   Betts. "A Bad Experience, But Not Without Merit: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp86871)". Erowid.org. Jan 13, 2020. erowid.org/exp/86871

 
DOSE:
2 hits smoked Salvia divinorum (extract)
BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb
To put this trip into context: I was 19 years old and had just started my first year of university. I was going through some bad experiences regarding relationships and friendships at the time. I had moved out of my parents' house on a whim and in with a friend of mine from high school about 2 months previous. We spent most of our time smoking weed and cigarettes on the porch during the 4 month period that I lived in this apartment. I had done mushrooms twice by this point with phenomenal results, so I wasn't entirely a stranger to hallucinogens.

I came home one night with my friend after class to find a party happening at our place. My roommate informed me that he'd gotten a hold of a small amount of 20x salvia. He had watched a guy smoke it on our kitchen floor and trip out for about five minutes and tried to convince me to try it as well. I declined, because I was in a bad mood, and I am a firm believer in being in a good mindset while trying new drugs, especially hallucinogens.
I am a firm believer in being in a good mindset while trying new drugs, especially hallucinogens.


The salvia sat in a small bag above our fireplace, leaning against the bong for a few weeks, so we were constantly being reminded of its presence. During this time my roommate tried a very small amount of it and described his experience to me. He said he was sitting on the couch, took a hit of it out of one of our bongs, and felt for five minutes as though he was sinking into the couch. After this, every few days he attempted to get me to try it. 'Come on,' he said. 'It's not a big deal, it only lasts for five or ten minutes, there's not even that much left.' I consistently declined for about a month, waiting for the proper mindset for doing hallucinogens, but it never came.

One late night in November, he came tapping on my bedroom door to offer the salvia to me once more. I thought about it for a moment, and then accepted, even though I was still not in the best mood. That was probably a mistake.

My roommate got all excited and rushed into the living room to retrieve the small bag of salvia and the bong. I ventured into the living room, sat down on the couch and got myself comfortable. I was pretty nervous -- I had read accounts of salvia trips that were both terrible and amazing and I wasn't sure I was ready for either extreme. I brushed off my inhibitions and took a hit from the bong while my roommate sat to the left of me and spotted diligently. It was not a huge hit, and I blew it out immediately, remembering while doing this that I was supposed to hold it in my lungs until my vision started to vibrate. Nothing happened, so I took another hit and held it in. As soon as my vision got a bit wobbly I blew out the smoke, then looked at my roommate and shrugged.

Suddenly, I was just being born. I opened my eyes. I was sitting in a small cottage in the middle of a beautiful breezy field full of long yellow grass on a summer day. I looked out the window at the puffy white clouds. I had no idea where I was, or how I got here, but I had absolutely no recollection of any previous life. All my memories were entirely wiped, and I knew nothing. This was all there was. The walls were bright yellow, and I examined the room fondly. My dining room table had some nice flowers in a vase. I was a bit nervous, because I appeared to be completely alone, but I decided that I really liked this place and I was glad to be born here.

I looked to my left and spotted a strange boy in colourful clothing sitting next to me. I was a bit startled because I had previously thought I was alone. He was staring at me and I got a little bit uncomfortable.

'Hi,' I said warily.
'Hi,' he replied.

I looked away, quite confused that he was not telling me what was going on or where I was, or even introducing himself. He was still staring at me and it was kind of freaking me out, but I was still very calm. I tried to think of something to say.

'Are.. we supposed to be going somewhere?' I asked him.
He looked confused. 'Do you want to go somewhere?' he said.

By this point I was thoroughly baffled. He appeared to know exactly what was going on and, I guessed, figured that I knew as well, although I had no idea. My mind was racing as I attempted to figure out just what the hell was going on and where I was, when suddenly I remembered -- I had smoked salvia
suddenly I remembered -- I had smoked salvia
.

'OH MY GOD!' I shouted, and leapt out of my seat. The strange boy was my roommate. I suddenly remembered his name. 'OH MY GOD!' I shouted again, pointing at him. He tried to get me to sit down but I was not having it. I ran into the kitchen and turned around to look at the couch I had been sitting on. 'Oh my god, you have no idea what's happening to me right now, oh my god,' I rambled to him. I was visibly freaking out and he had no idea what to do. 'THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS? NOTHING IS REAL!' I yelled, and promptly bolted down the hall into his bedroom and threw myself into his bed. He followed, trying to get me to tell him all the while what was wrong and why I was so upset. I just kept rambling and freaking out. I got up, ran into my room, and screamed and cried into my pillow for five minutes.

When I returned to my roommate's bed, he looked terrified, as if I was about to attack him. I told him about what had happened, how I had no memories and no recollection of who or where I was, and then we smoked some weed and calmed down.

I haven't done salvia since, but it was so wonderful and beautiful at the beginning that I am not entirely opposed to trying it again, when I am in a better mindset. I am quite terrified of the prospect of my entire reality being torn apart like that again, so maybe not.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 86871
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 13, 2020Views: 536
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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