Citation: jessew6889. "Withdrawl to Get Excited About: An Experience with Oxycodone (exp86932)". Erowid.org. Mar 10, 2021. erowid.org/exp/86932
I'm not going to get into the specifics of what opiates did for me, how they made me feel, etc. There are plenty of other reports describing how great they make one feel, and how much better life is on them, If I could take opiates for the rest of my life I WOULD.
I began abusing pain meds after returning from Iraq in 2005, later learning it was to suppress the memories I had from that experience, which later returned, 4.5 years later, and 20 days sober in an event called delayed onset post traumatic stress disorder.
I never stopped using opiates, despite how much they ruined my life (love, financial, family, friends, etc). Didn't stop when I lost my license, didn't stop when I got someone else arrested for Dr shopping, didn't stop when I owed thousands to drug dealers who would come by and threaten me... I didn't stop because I was terrified of withdrawl.
Eventually, with no money I ended up living with a family member, and its only a matter of time before you are making impulsive, irrational, consequential decisions, and they do catch up. When they did, I checked into rehab and got medically detoxed...
What I feared for 4.5 years, was so much less nerve wracking than being an addict ever was. I was put on clonodine, a bp medication that works on withdrawl (wonderfully) valium, again, wonderful. Gabapentin (works wonders for pain and cravings) and phenegran (promethazine) for nausia. I felt NO withdrawls AT ALL.
In all honesty, if i could use opiates without consequence, I would. I love them with all my heart, and would trade most everything I have for them, I already have before. I am not willing to give up my life for them though. And although I have pending narcotics possession charges, dr shopping, forgery, and insurance fraud charges pending, I thank god I got away from them when I did, because they would have taken my life away from me.
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