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Both Terrifying and Fascinating
Salvia divinorum (20x extract)
by Claire
Citation:   Claire. "Both Terrifying and Fascinating: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp87458)". Erowid.org. Sep 19, 2019. erowid.org/exp/87458

 
DOSE:
1 bowl smoked Salvia divinorum (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 95 lb


First Salvia Trip

I have taken LSD and various other drugs on numerous ocassions, though not for many years. Lately I have become fascinated with lucid dreaming and have written my dreams down for nearly 7 years. I have had lucid dreams and experimented with natural supplements such as galantamine and vitamins. My experience with salvia was like nothing on earth.

Admittedly I had not researched dosages and what to expect when I took it. I had a sitter and a 20X extract which we put into the bong shortly before 9pm. I'll get straight to the experience. I was at home in the top room of my house. I was with my best friend. I took a hit on the bong, holding it in as long as possible. I blew it out the window and the last thing I said before I hit the floor was 'I'm going.' The next thing I remember is climbing my stairs in my house, and a feeling of clawing, scratching down the left side of my body, pulling me back with tremendous force. I felt there was a being next to me, a female being, though how I knew this I don't know. As I climbed the stairs into the room I saw the room fall apart and turn into a dimension I knew nothing about. It was incomprehensible, then I find myself in my childhood bedroom and again the whole place falls apart and unfolds into an unknown world. At that moment I knew, as sure as I am sitting here now, that my reality didn't exist, that my parents, the people who gave me life, never existed. This was the most upsetting part of the experience. I was here, alone, in a place I knew absolutely nothing about and everything I thought I knew had been an illusion, this was my new reality
everything I thought I knew had been an illusion, this was my new reality
.

Again I find myself climbing the stairs in my own house, only to find the same thing happening again. The scratching, clawing feeling is trying to keep me there. The colours I see are maroons, reds and browns, I hear a deep droning sound and see a corridor of 'beings' who are not human, but more circus-like, they have a metallic appearance and they are not pleasant.

AS I start to come round I see my best friend and the sight of him is terrible. I feel as though he is waiting for me, telling me smugly that this is it now, now I know what reality is and it's not what I had thought. I don't know him, I don't feel at all calmed by his presence, and I am paranoid beyond belief. As I try to make sense of my identity and surroundings I grab his arm and repeatedly say 'Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.' I ask again and again who I am, what day it is. I try to reason with myself, tell myself I have a job, an identity, friends, but none of it seems real and I feel that I have lost my mind and can't ever come round from this. I know what it feels like to be insane in a sane world and I don't know how I am going to explain this one!

Slowly I begin to acclimatise but it takes a long, long time. My initial reaction is that I will never do this evil drug again, but once I am sober I know that I cannot wait to explore this realm again. I am back to normal by 11pm, two hours later. Oh, and I threw up at about 9.45pm.

In a lucid dream I know I am dreaming, when I take acid I know I've taken it. With salvia, I didn't. This IS reality and I have to face it.

This was the most profound experience of my entire life. I feel like I know what it's like to die, and I find it both terrifying and fascinating.

I'll be back.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 87458
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 33 
Published: Sep 19, 2019Views: 209
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Salvia divinorum (44) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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