Ltd Ed 'Solve et Elucido' Art Giclee
This reverberating psychedelic giclee print is a gift for a
$500 donation to Erowid. 12" x 12", stretched on canvas, the
image wraps around the sides of the 1" thick piece. Signed
by artist Vibrata, and Erowid founders Earth & Fire.
Loss of Self
Citation:   urbanshaman. "Loss of Self: An Experience with Ketamine (exp87516)". Aug 4, 2017.

  repeated insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)
I moved to university being a drug user who could live my life well whilst taking drugs recreationally, being healthy and living what people would call a “normal” life with big prospects ahead of me. I had heard about ketamine and wanted to try it. After the first few time of taking it I was a fan and found that my tolerance rose dramatically. I eventually decided to quit uni and moved into a squat with fellow ketamine fiends.

Over the course of a year I dread to think how much I took but after six months a gram line wouldn’t touch me and I found myself taking about ten grams a day. My weight dropped from 9 ˝ stone to 6. My personal hygiene was not an issue for me anymore and I was being taken advantage of by the squatters that I had moved in with. I sold the majority of my possessions to feed my habit and lost all of my family and friends.

The first time I had ketamine kramps I thought I was dying.
The first time I had ketamine kramps I thought I was dying.
I had never experienced a pain like it, and as my “friends” were so ketted they could do little to help me. Having no phone to ring an ambulance I screamed in pain for what seemed like forever, I pissed blood and was sweating and shaking profusely. This carried on for another six months, I was heavily deluded and thought I was living the life. Luckily I was found by an old friend who took me and helped me get of it.

It has been a year since this and mentally I’m almost there. I can feel happy and my ability to socialise and work is coming back. I have regular flashbacks, anxiety, panic attacks and low self esteem. Physically my weight's increased by half a stone however, I have constant indigestion and get bad cystitis, some of my teeth have fallen out due to my poor personal hygiene and my hair is going grey from stress.

I always considered myself a clever girl and thought I was gonna go far. I was told ketamine wasn’t addictive, had little side effects and was practically harmless but it destroyed my life for a year and a half. I’ve learnt from my mistake and don’t have regrets. I hope that someone will read this and see how dangerous this drug can be, because they might not be as lucky as I was.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 87516
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Aug 4, 2017Views: 2,458
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Ketamine (31) : Not Applicable (38), Post Trip Problems (8), Addiction & Habituation (10), Health Problems (27), Retrospective / Summary (11)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults