Citation: kay. "Perfect World Perfect Clouds: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp87842)". Erowid.org. Jul 16, 2017. erowid.org/exp/87842
I suppose I should start with my experimentation. I began smoking tobacco (cigarettes) when I was 11 years old, just out of curiosity and it was easy to get them by stealing them from my dad. Then, at around age 13 I started getting puking drunk with a few of my friends. Shortly after, the day before my 14th birthday I began smoking marijuana. I smoked marijuana frequently, but once my parents caught me I needed a safer way to get high. So why not pills? The first recreational pill I tried was Xanax.. Shortly after I was introduced to Hydrocodone, ect.
I did plenty of drugs throughout this period, too many too name. Most notably Oxycodone, Adderall, DXM, gasoline, computer duster, and many others.
This is not about my overall drug experience though, this is about the king. The 'bee's knees' so to speak. At age 14 I figured out my mom's use of methamphetamines.
I didn't know much about this substance, however I had seen my mom use it. Smoking it out of her funky glass pipe that looked way different than a pot pipe.
I did not live with my mom, I only went to visit her on school vacations. But I loved being over there, probably because she let me sit on her couch and toke all day.
Anyway my mom had told me plenty of stories (obviously there were more than a few deep conversations between me and her considering I loved to talk about random nonsense while high on weed and for her it's pretty self explanatory) about her younger days and how she dropped out of school in ninth grade, ect.
My mom had also told me about her experimenting with cocaine and crack in her younger days. At this point I was more than curious about harder substances than just pot and pills. I began looking up all the main substances. Slowly I learned about every substance I even had the slightest desire to try.
On to the report...
The very first time I tried meth was not something I was particularly proud of. I saw it similar to 'cheating' the drug as I had not gone out and gotten it myself.. But it was about 2 summers after I had first started visiting her since she started allowing me to smoke pot.
I was with my cousin, and looking through my moms room. I loved to look through my moms room for drugs and other things. And I seemed to feel like any substance my mom had was open to me and I was pretty much obligated to check it out.
Anyway, there lied my mom's meth pipe. Something I had seen before but figured useless without the substance to go in it. This time was somehow different.
For some reason or another I began holding it. I don't know why... My mom wasn't home, and nobody else except me and my cousin. So I just was amused holding and looking at this pipe that my mom seemed to love so much for some reason or another (addiction).
Anyway, after messing around with my cousin pretending to hit the pipe and what not (I was 15), I began messing around on a different level. I took the lighter and held it directly below the bowl of the strange pipe. I did not expect anything to happen because there was (seemingly) no meth in it. To my surprise smoke started coming out of the top hole of it and without thinking i began sucking to see what would happen....
Needless to say I got a hit. Followed by another, and another, and another, and another. I offered to my cousin but he smartly refused. I probably took around 15-20 hits. I started to feel a pleasant buzzing type sensation coming through my whole body as I took more and more hits. My cousin sitting there staring the whole time in disbelief.
After I had smoked the pipe practically dry it was brownish when before it had been white. My mom was going to notice...
But at that moment it didn't matter anyway. I started by smoking a cigarette, and oh my god did that cigarette feel good. It was as if I had dranken like 10 cups of coffee or something, yet I wasn't shaking. I was 100% relaxed and content. I was sitting on a couch, smoking cigarette after cigarette feeling completely free from any restrictions life could have put on me in the past. I was free, I could do anything I wanted to. And cigarettes we're getting better and better the more I smoked them.
I was basically spilling my guts to my cousin about everything I had ever experienced pretty much. I told him everything I could think of about my life at home and all my friends bad or good and every memorable moment that even meant a single thing to me. Then I kept talking. My mind was racing at 2000 mph and not resting for nothing and at the same time I was getting unbelievable rushes and my body was completely relaxed.
I called one of my other friends and talked to him pretty much in the same way and just couldn't stop talking to him or my cousin or both at the same time. All that mattered was thinking, talking, and smoking cigarette after cigarette.
At some point I began smoking weed. This was definitely good. I smoked around three bowls with my cousin and it went with the speedyness very nicely. It made the feeling that much more surreal and relaxing yet I was still very much alert and buzzing. The feeling of smoking weed while on meth is very hard to explain.
Anyways, after an amount of time that seemed like forever(it's utterly impossible to tell time on this drug) my mom came home. She did not seem to notice the state I was in. That is, until she offered me food.
My mom is not stupid, she knew I had been smoking weed because she knows me quite well. She also obviously knows about the munchies. If I had stomached perhaps half a hot dog, (yeah right) I might've had more time... But no, I claimed that I wasn't hungry.
At this point she still didn't seem to notice, but there was something weird about the way she looked at me after that, I can't quite explain it. It was some sort of look at the situation as if something wasn't right, or something was off but that she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
She went upstairs. I was just sitting there with my cigarette in my hand, happy as can be. Still talking to my cousin like a mad man.. Still so high I wasn't on the fucking planet. After what seemed like a matter of seconds, my mom's back from upstairs.
She's mad, more mad than I've ever seen her in my entire life. This had came out of fucking nowhere, I was invincible, but yet here she was completely steaming with anger. I didn't quite understand how she could be so angry at the time. But at that point I took a deep look at what I'd done. She yelled, however for the life of me I can't remember what was said. Just how mad she was. I don't quite remember what I was feeling. But I had realized I wasn't in the little leagues anymore. I had done something that I knew I was going to do eventually.. Yet I couldn't believe I did it. I realized however that I was mature enough to handle it... Whether or not I was is still a mystery.
The high was still not over, I continued smoking cigarette after cigarette throughout that entire night. I smoked so many cigs, that I would put one down for a second and then light another one forgetting that I had put down half a lit one literally two minutes before.
At some point, everyone fell asleep. I masturbated at this point, it took me god knows how long to get hard but once I was I masturbated for something like four or so hours before having the best orgasm I'd ever had in my life. Afterwards I listened to probably all of my music 3x while still smoking tons of cigarettes. I finally fell asleep at maybe 7 in the morning and for probably like 1 hour at most. After I woke up I was completely rested and ready to go.
Fast forward to later that year... September. Me and my friend M talk about doing meth one weekend since we'd both done it but it never happened. Two weeks later it's a Saturday morning and me and M plan to hang out but don't seem to mention any drugs. We agree and I get ready to go out.
At some point after that M calls me again and he has a different tone in his voice... He says his brother will sell us some meth. I state that I'm down and we agree to each spend $20 and get a half gram of some good crystal. At this point I'm extremely excited and all I can do is close my eyes and wait. After what seems like forever M finally arrives at my house and we go outside.
This means we're going to do crystal at any minute right? Wrong. We have to wait for his brother to get it. This seems to take a long time so we smoke some pot to lessen the wait. We smoke a bowl of really good shit and proceed to laugh at random bullshit, ect.
Not much else happens for a while after this.. We continue waiting for his brother and it takes forever. We go to Burger King and get an abnormally large amount of food considering we had the munchies and we wouldn't be eating for a long time. Since the food takes a long time we get free fries and we order a nine piece chicken fry and they give us six so we tell them and they give us another six piece. We laugh to each other at the fact that we just got free food just for being stoners and we can't stop laughing and eating food.
After we're done eating we go fish for cigarettes. Fishing is a term we use for finding someone over eighteen to buy cigarettes for us considering we're underage. Anyways, we find someone to buy them for us. It was amusing to me because I had already seen these people a week ago when I had asked them to buy me a pack of cigarettes - hah! Anyway my friend asks one of them if they did tweek and they say no and then say 'See ya later tweekers!' As they leave to there car.
Anyways, It's only like five minutes till the big moment now. We're waiting as now I have a pack of cigs and I'm fully prepared. His brother, I'll call him V, drives up now and I'm REALLY anxious. Way more so than the first time. We get into the car and V is driving and there's some random girl in the passenger seat neither me or M have ever met. I'll just call her J.
Anyway we make the exchange. Now as I'm looking at M holding a tiny bag of crystals, I'm getting really nervous. We pull into a random neighborhood, to actually smoke the stuff. I blast some sublime in my ears to cure my nervousness. It helps only a little. Now J begins prepping the oil burner (by this point I actually know what it's called) and she slides a few crystals down through the tube into the bowl. She then explains to us that we heat it till it's melted then it solidifys again. Afterwards she says it's ready to smoke.
I don't remember who took the first hit. I think it was M. J held it for M and held the lighter barely touching the bowl for just a few seconds then told M to suck in slowly. He did as told and slowly sucked in a deep hit and blew out a huge cloud immediately afterward. Then it was my turn, J held it for me as well and directed me when to suck in slowly.
It's hard to explain the taste, it tastes kind of metallic and crisp.. It also didn't burn your throat like weed would. Also, you're not supposed to hold it in. I slowly sucked in until I couldn't suck anymore. Immediately after I blew out more smoke than I could have imagined fit in my throat. I got a HUGE hit. J even mentioned how I had always gotten the biggest hits.
Immediately I wasn't really nervous anymore and I was ready to smoke more. We ended up smoking the whole half gram bag between the four of us as we didn't want to carry the stuff or the burner on us. The car was so sweaty and warm and the windows were completely fogged, as if we had hotboxed it with a bong or something. Once we got out to air the car out I got the greatest feeling standing up. The air hitting me felt amazing and I couldn't get enough of it.
After we were done with the whole thing me and M were very relieved we didn't have to have the burner on us anymore. We gave it to V and J. We began talking, not too much but what seemed to be just the right amount. I felt like a barrier that was between all 4 of us when we entered the car was now gone and we were the closest friends.
Anyway, I crack open my new pack of cigs. As I light up the first one I'm flying. Any average pot smoker or pill popper would figure this is the peak. HAH. We have V drive us to a casino in our town that has a movie theater so we can see a movie. We have J and V walk us in so we don't get kicked out because of curfew. We buy movie tickets for around two hours later, J gives us a hug (this felt really good) and we say goodbye to V and J.
We walk around the casino for a bit more and I'm having the time of my life. Just walking around looking at people is fun as hell. Plus the lights and stuff in the casino are overwhelming. It was purely amazing. I was sweating quite a bit but it didn't matter.
At this point the thought of going home scares me. We light a cig in the casino and I call my dad and ask if I can spend the night at M's house. I feel completely in control as I talk to my dad tweeked the fuck out. M calls his parents and asks to stay at my house. Everything works out and we decide to leave the casino to come back later for the movie.
As we're outside I turn up my music really loud. The lyrics of all songs that were meaningful to me before give me great feelings of euphoria and an extreme emotional bond between me and the songs as they fly by me. Both me and M realize that we smell like ass from sweating so much and we get deodorant from the gas station. I also get an Arizona peace tea and I look at it and feel joy and felt that when I'm holding the peace tea only peaceful things can happen to me. It really was great.
We then went into Best Buy and the people at the door said hi too us and it felt really good. For some reason I felt like they were saying hi to be really nice and not just because they were paid to do so. We then went straight into the bathroom to put on the deoderant. My music was still playing really loud and I was listening while looking in the mirror and sipping my peace tea just feeling really good. I was surprised the peace tea still tasted as good as it did before we smoked. M was trying to call people in the bathroom but seemed to have little luck. We must've stayed in there for like 20 minutes.
As we get outside I want to smoke a bowl so we go down to a place called hippy circle that has tunnels basically meant to smoke in. M didn't wanna smoke cause he didn't want the downer effect to change his meth high but I remembered how good it was to smoke weed the first time and had even danker shit this time. So I smoke a bowl and I remember as we left Hippy circle telling M that the weed was the icing on the cake and it just made me feel fucking remarkable. I remember how intense it was and me and M told eachother we loved eachother (we're males but we'd been friends for about 5 years so we were feeling really close). Anyway the cigarette made me feel fantastic at this point and we went into the casino again to get to our movie.
I had one more cigarette and once again was looking at people feeling amazing and we went into the theater. Right when we got in I realized my music was still full blast and M said to turn that shit off and the battery was dying to top it all off so I did.
At this point plenty of loud ass people came into the theater and I remember remarking to M how 'You wouldn't suspect us to be the ones on Meth' to this we both laughed.
Even the previews were interesting ass hell. I didn't move my eyes from the screen once. I was feeling amazing and paying attention to every little detail. Once the movie started I was still focusing just as much. At some point during the movie M wasn't paying attention very well but I was still focusing on every little thing. Plus the main character of the movie was played by one of the hottest actresses IMO. Emma Stone. I think I payed more attention in that movie than any movie in my entire life. Plus all the girls in the movie were so damn hot.
M was having a lot of trouble paying attention, and this worried me. But there was nothing I could do about it. After the movie was over we were trying to find some place safe to stay for the night. We left the theater and I had that oh so glorious cigarette which gave me intense feelings of well being.
After about a half hour of walking we found our safe place. These tunnels next to my school that were pitch black and lead out to a dead end. I couldn't think of a safer place. So we hopped the fence, and went down to the end of the tunnel. When we arrived, it was amazing. This was the PERFECT place. I had so many memories of being there with friends some that I don't see anymore and some that have wronged me, yet it felt amazing to be there standing in the same place again.
At this place, you had an AMAZING view of the whole city including the strip and it was deserted and secluded except for these houses separated by a wall.
As we were sitting there I fell in love with this place. IN LOVE. I felt invincible sitting on that ledge looking over at the city like nobody could touch me. I had that fast eery voice and it said 'I'm never coming down.'
M called one of our old friends from our old school. And we talked about things with her we wouldnt have ever said to her without having done dope. We spilled our guts to this girl. I felt perfect, I felt like nothing else mattered but what was here and now. I was on cloud 9, and the rest of the world could suck my two inch flacid meth penis.
My mind was racing, I was perfect, the world was perfect, everything was perfect. I loaded the last bowl I had and waited in anticipation to smoke it after our conversation with this girl was over. Once it was over, I wanted to sit on this same ledge with the view of the city and smoke it. But M for some reason didn't think this was a good idea.
We had been pretty loud at this point, so I guess he was right. The houses weren't very far away from where we were sitting and we were talking pretty damn loud for three am and at times we'd hear things coming from the houses.
Anyway, he suggested we go lower, right next to the tunnels. I didn't want to but I did anyway. Immediately after I left the ledge (that's what I called it the entire night and still call it that) I felt like I needed to go back to it. We smoked the bowl and I immediately felt good because of it.
M decided we do some exploring in the tunnels.. I apprehensively agree. Then as we go into the tunnel things start to get trippy. Swirls of colors go through the wall and I have a hard time keeping my balance. I start talking to M and saying things like 'Why are we leaving the ledge this is bad we're going into an unknown zone who knows what'll happen out here we need to go back to the ledge the only safe place is the ledge'. M mentions cops and I quickly realize that we don't have any wood to knock on. 'Where is there wood we need wood we need to knock on wood' ect.
This didn't stop us though. We go through the tunnel to the other side and M looks at the five tunnels and asks where the other ones go. I didn't know so we go through the far right one for no apparent reason. Bad choice. This is a seemingly unending tunnel. We walk through for maybe 2 hours before we both start getting lightheaded. M says 'What if we're lacking oxygen and we pass out here and nobody ever finds us' This was a bad train of thought but we keep going for maybe another hour before we shout 'FUCK THIS' and run back the way we came.
We decide to go to the other side where there is another dead end this one more secluded. M starts getting extremely paranoid, infact he had been paranoid since we were at the ledge and I kept trying to tell him everything would be fine and that we were invincible, cause that's how I felt.
Anyways somewhere inbetween the two tunnels we take a rest. I'm switching between not wanting to move or go anywhere and being ready to go. So is M and the bad part is they seem to be happening at different times so M wants to move and I wanna stay forever or I wanna move and M wants to stay there forever.
Every different place we went to felt like a new world, infact that whole tunnel area felt like a separate world. I felt like I had everything I needed there, and that I could live there forever and be happy and not need anything else. I felt like the other world couldn't touch us there, going back to being invincible.
At some point M lost his cool and saw a light coming out of nowhere and ran to try to hid, I did too because it was way too easy to get sketched out and trip over nothing. It was a false alarm of course and only a car going down the street.
At that point I decided we needed to get to the other side, even if it risked being seen. We made it and it felt great to be in a new safe environment. This one didn't even have any houses. I sat down and felt at home again. Like I could stare off into space forever and be completely fine, better than fine infact. At this point I couldn't get over how intense this feeling was. I never wanted to leave the tunnels. I legitimately wanted to stay there forever. I still thought I wasn't ever coming down.
At some point I was staring off so content that stuff started morphing into different shapes and colors. I gazed for about 5 minutes as I embraced the hallucinations and then snapped back into 'reality'. Though my reality at that point was completely perfect.
After god knows how long, it was 5am. Safe to walk the streets again. We were in the clear. I suggested we go to the ledge again. I cannot explain the deep connection I had to this ledge, but I was going to be there again. Once we got there it was like returning to my home after being away for years. Yet it was also like I had somehow never left.
As I watched the sunrise, I reflected on the experience. I decided that this reality was far superior to the other reality and saw how easy it would be to stay there ALL THE TIME. Time just flys by so smoothly, so amazingly, so surreal and beautifully that you could just spend all your time there. Never again would you have to worry, never again would you have to do ANYTHING but just sit there, sit there and watch the clouds without a care in the world.
It's truely so unexplainable and amazing why wouldn't people want to stay there all the time? It feels like forever, making it forever would just make it that much better right? Just watching the coulds made me so unexplainably happy I couldn't put it into words. It was infact TOO amazing.
Not much was too be noted after that, I found a shopping cart to sit in as I watched cars go by and felt way superior than them for they had spent thousands and thousands of dollars on that big machine and all I needed was a fucking shopping cart and I was perfect.
I went to sleep at around 10am, V drove us home. I was still high. I woke up at 7pm smoked a cig and went back to sleep.
I'll never forget those clouds... I have a new found appreciation for them.
And now for my third experience... nah it hasn't happened yet. And when it does I'm going to make damn sure the experience is just as amazing as the first one and that I once again look at those beautiful, perfect, clouds.
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