DOSE:	repeated	oral	Tryptophan - 5-HTP
	80 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
	100 - 130 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
	100 - 130 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

My Dear Friend Molly

It anticipation of my first experience with any mind altering substance other than Marijuana and Opium, I was advised to prepare for the experience by taking 5-HTP and hydrating well for a few days prior. I had eaten light all day, drank lots of water, and made sure to halt use of any other substances other than tobacco for at least 3 days, so I could be sure to start with a clean slate. I was excited, but most of all nervous. I have wanted to experiment with psychedelics for a very long time, but I never felt the setting or timing in my life was right when substances were available to me. I have smoked Marijuana regularly since I was 12 years old, and enjoy the introspective qualities it provides. I feel like Molly is the first psychedelic experience that I've had.

My boyfriend and I were planning the night with some of his friends, a few which I have met, but do not know closely. The group totaled about a dozen. Everyone taking part in the nights activities have had experiences with Molly, except one other person and myself. Everyone would be taking Molly together, and some also were taking Mescaline and smoking Marijuana. I was open with everyone and let them know it was my first time. The general tone of the group was very positive, and each person I told was very excited and happy for me. They seemed very glad to be a part of my first experience.

I took 3 doses over a period of about 9 hours. I was given very pure MDMA. My first dose was the smallest, at .08g followed by 2 additional doses of between .1g and .13g each.

We had taken a limo to see Deadmau5, and I took the first one as we were on our way to the show. I started feeling initial effects after about 30-45 mins. I knew I was coming up when my scalp and hands became hot all of a sudden. I was nervous, and very excited. Then the excitement and euphoria took over, and I became full of gratitude and appreciation for everyone and everything I have in my life and everything I was becoming a part of. The music and light show were amazing. I felt like I had gone to another planet - one where all of us were united.

My second dose was taken once we were back at the apartment. This was absolutely the most pure, euphoric, enlightening experience of my entire life. All of us there were sharing in this comforting, intimate moment in time. I felt almost no separation between myself and anyone else. I was so full of love and compassion that my physical body could no longer contain these emotions- I had to do all I could to share this wonderful purity with anyone who might have any room left inside themselves to fit any of what I had to give. I expressed this overflow of love by touching and massaging. The empathy was abundant, and there were many times where many of us were simultaneously providing touch to each other.

Lastly, around 3am, I took my third dose, which I believe was the largest. The orgasmic flow of love continued. It seemed like time stood still. Feeling so lovely, I was offered Marijuana, gladly partook and quickly became exhausted. I laid back, and melted into a velvet abyss. I was able to comfortably sink inside myself... To completely give in to everything this chemical key had to offer. I began to hallucinate. There were beautiful paintings hanging around the apartment, and the people around me became part of the artwork. When I closed my eyes, I saw 3 dimensional geometric shapes spinning and oscillating in beautiful brilliance. At this point, I thought maybe I had been given mescaline because I had not anticipated hallucinations, so I asked the host, and he assured me all of my doses had indeed been Molly. He followed the reassurance with 'Nope, Molly gets pretty trippy when u take a lot of it. The Mind is an amazing place.' He smiled, and I went back to the newly discovered river of love inside me.

I became exhausted at about 5am. I realized that I had been awake since 5:30am the day before, and I had worked a full 8.5hr shift before coming to the party. I laid with my boyfriend, who was hallucinating much more vividly than me, and started to drift asleep. I experienced no trouble in falling asleep, other than leg twitches.

I can not fully put my experience into words. I can, however, say that Molly has opened my eyes to the possibility of true love and beauty- in my self, in every circumstance, and in every person who finds their way into my life. The most amazing thing is that instead of feeling like my brain was drenched or clouded with this chemical guest- I feel like it has, instead, removed a film of negativity or doubt or fear from my mind- which I guess I didn't really even realize was there.

I feel as if I was given a key that unlocked emotional and psychological barriers I had been carrying around my entire life. It was as if a fog of ego, insecurities, doubt, and anxiety had been lifted, and I was seeing the world and the people in my life at their true potential for the first time. Molly acted like a good friend, pointing out the bright side, and reminding me that life can be wonderful, and full of love-if you just let it.

I feel like Molly has changed my life, brightened my outlook, and given me perspective. It has been about 10 days since my date with Molly, and I can still feel the love happened that night.

I haven't experienced any negative emotional side effects, or the 'coming down' depression I have heard about and was expecting. I feel safe in attributing this to the quality of substance I received.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 87939
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Feb 15, 2022	Views: 505
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MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Large Group (10+) (19)