Citation: Psychonaut_1138. "The Gate Keeper: An Experience with DMT (exp88241)". Erowid.org. Feb 25, 2018. erowid.org/exp/88241
||(powder / crystals)
Let me just say that before I had DMT I believed that when we die we just rot in the ground and go back to how we were before - not existing...
Around 2004 my brother had saved me some crystal dmt for me and I was looking forward to having my very first dmt experience with an experienced guide. Of course I read a heap of stuff online so I was mentally prepared for the experience. The day arrived and we each prepared a comfortable area on his lounge room floor with pillows etc and some suitable music was chosen by myself (Sigur Ros starting at Untitled 3). I remember being very excited in anticipation of what was about to happen. My heart was going pretty fast before I had even started. The dmt was packed onto a cone of cannabis and smoked through a bong using a gas torch lighter. I laid back, closed my eyes and held my breath for a fairly long time (40 - 50 seconds). At first geometric patterns appeared with seemingly infinite detail and all sounds took on a distinctive 'metallic' kind of sound. It reminded me of that scene in the matrix where neo touches the mirror and the silver creeps up his arm and into his mouth. The afternoon sun beaming through the windows was hitting my lower half and it felt like a warm, golden healing beam of divine light. I could feel a huge smile locked into place on my face like a comfortable mask. It felt like a smile I had never smiled before.
I could feel a huge smile locked into place on my face like a comfortable mask. It felt like a smile I had never smiled before.
Soon my brother was gently tapping me on the arm and telling me I should exhale. (It occurred to me that he perhaps thought that I had forgotten to breath out and was tripping hard, unable to exhale!) I nodded and made some kind of grunt to let him know everything was ok. I was calm now but as soon as I exhaled it felt like I was suddenly accelerating, like taking off in a rocket ship.
I suddenly found myself floating in a vast space. Only I had no body, it was almost as if it was just my soul or my eyes floating in this dark space.
I had no body, it was almost as if it was just my soul or my eyes floating in this dark space.
I remember being completely lucid and very excited that I was experiencing this scenario. Surrounding me as far as I could see were evenly distributed lights. Not knowing what else to do I decided to investigate. I floated away from where I started and realized that each light was actually either a number one or a number zero! And upon closer examination, each number was actually made up of even smaller ones and zeros and then even smaller ones and zeros etc. The further out I went, the more there were. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and frustrated by the infinite nature of this 'binary dimension' so I decided to float back to where I started.
I didn't expect to actually have to do anything in this trip, I just assumed crazy hallucinations would appear, I would be entertained, and maybe if I was lucky elves would come talk to me or something. It was similar to my first lucid dream I had where suddenly I 'woke up' within my dream and had complete god-like control within my dream universe but couldn't really think of anything cool to do. So I decided to fly around for a bit...
I soon became aware of a massive dome shape formed by these points of light. I remember thinking that it looked similar to a high vaulted ornate dome in a church, at the apex of which was a small light which was glowing brighter than all the others. It seemed obvious that I should head towards the light ('This is like a near death experience' I remember thinking). As I moved towards the light, the dome became more like a vast tunnel with a light at the end. At first I thought I was not getting any closer but eventually it became brighter and I realized it was actually twinkling or pulsating. As I got closer I could see that the light was spinning very rapidly. Closer still and and the light was starting to spin a little slower and seemed to emit golden flashes.
I drew closer and was shocked to see that the spinning object was actually a spinning golden throne upon which was sitting a very intense, bald, blue man. The throne was very bright and shaped vaguely like a crescent moon. It was very ornate and had a very slender design and a small seat curving out from the main column of the throne. I moved slowly forward and the man was spinning quite slow now, his intense searching gaze fixed directly out in front of him. I was now in front of the slowly moving throne and after a few more slower revolutions it slowly came to a halt right in front of me. As soon as the being's powerful gaze lined up with my own eyes and it felt like he was examining my soul. A very tense moment passed as he locked my eyes to his. I thought he was going to say something but the next thing I knew I was torn away from the binary dimension and that part of my trip was suddenly over.
For about 2-3 minutes I lay in my brother's lounge room, eyes closed with intense geometric patterns swirling and shifting with the (awesome) music. I was basking in the golden light again and soon decided to open my eyes to see if any visual distortions were happening. I looked out the window and noticed that the entire tree just outside the window was entirely made up of jagged geometric shapes like a playstation 1 game. Soon the visual distortions faded and I waited for my brother to finish his trip before sharing our experiences. It dawned on me that this blue being was like the gate keeper and he had deemed me not worthy to pass to a higher dimension and kicked me out. He was like an end of level boss in a computer game, and I wasn't ready to pass yet.
I believe that there are parallels between dmt experiences, death and dreaming. Perhaps they are all one and the same and when our bodies die we just return to how we were before... without a physical body.
“You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.”
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