Citation: Antibody. "The keys to the Universe: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp88450)". Erowid.org. Mar 1, 2014. erowid.org/exp/88450
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The keys to the Universe
Dose: 12 mg 5meo-dmt.HCl
weight: 77 Kg
Setting: Alone at a cottage in the winter where being interrupted seemed very unlikely. I had read some Zen philosophy the day before to get my head in the right place. I got up at 5:30 am because the fire had burned down and needed another log. I put on an ambient yoga music CD, playing quietly. 12mgs were weighed out and snorted in one line*.
My heart began to race immediately. I went quickly back to bed, jumped in, covered myself, heart pounding. Within 2 minutes I was coming up strongly, it was disorienting and unnerving. I focused my attention on a conscious breath to calm myself. I remember squirming somewhat, although not in any kind of discomfort. It was hard to catch my breath as I am propelled into this. CEVs of “the swirling pattern” were apparent, but very much secondary to the physical sensations I was experiencing. All at once I have reached the origin of my ego, all egos, the worlds egos, and realize that in their absence there is NOTHING. Everything I’ve read about enlightenment and the attainment of Samadhi makes perfect sense to me now. It has all become so obvious. During this part of the experience I am not me, I am simply awareness. I am utterly free. This is a solid ++++ experience.
My awareness is drawn to my point of non-being or dissolution. I start to sink back into my ego now, but it is ok. I realize that every action in my life has been in support of this, my ego. It is obvious to me now that ego can lead to nothing but suffering, and that when I have finally disentangled my self from my ego I will cease to exist. I yearn for this. I experience compassion for the world of souls out there suffocating beneath their egos.
Anxiety creeps in, but by coming back to the Zen principle of “Just this” I am able to reassure myself. Reality washes over me in waves now, or rather the experience recedes in waves. I lie still for another half hour, bathing in the splendor of my realization. I have been given a glimpse into what the highest reaches of yoga promise** us and I now feel encouraged and motivated to achieve it the hard way. I float around in a state of bliss for the rest of the morning. I have been given the keys to the universe.
Pulling the rip chord
Dose: 15 mg 5meo dmt.HCl
The following morning at the cottage another dose of 5 Meo is weighed out and insufflated. Again I make a dash for the bed before the effects can begin. My heart is racing again as I wait for lift off. This time the onset seems smoother, there are no CEVs by I can FEEL the swirling pattern. My body is overwhelmed by a full body sensual bliss. I am not moving but feel as though I am squirming in ecstasy, my entire body awash in orgasm. This feels TOO good, almost narcotic. I’ve never done heroine, but this is how imagine that it must feel. It feels so good that I can imagine myself never being able to stop. I realize that I am confronted with the serious possibility of a developing a dependency to this stuff. I start to think that I will never be able to leave the cottage because I will not be able to stop taking this stuff. The notion that I am in a potentially dangerous situation begins to form. What happens if I can’t stop and the trips start turn ugly! It could become an nightmare.
I am still wholly within my ego through out this experience. I try to still my mind with breath, but this doesn’t work. I find myself chanting my mantra to myself. This freaks me out because I didn’t realize that I was doing it. My mind is spewing out mantra of its own accord. This is a warning bell for me that there is stuff going on in my head that my mind doesn’t want. I look at a painting on the wall and the whole thing is melting. But again the visuals are very secondary to the headspace I am in. What’s going on? I feel reference less. I decide to pull the rip chord on this trip. I get out of bed, go downstairs and toss my dmt, scales and stash of other psychedelics into the fire. The fire roars up out of all proportion with what has been added to it. I immediately feel much better. The trip starts to recedes in waves.
As I threw everything in the fire my conviction to stay away from this stuff for good is strong. A few hours later as I write this, I realize that I am looking forward to doing this again. But not for awhile :)
Hindsight: I think it was a mistake to have done it the 2nd time so close after the 1st time. Despite upping the dose the 2nd time the breakthrough from the 1st experience was not repeated. Its possible there is a tolerance factor at play here. The 1st experience was a highly spiritual experience or awakening. The 2nd was a more sensual experience, wherein lies the danger for me. This is far an away the most powerful drug I have ever encountered. If I had to explain it to someone who has never done it. I would describe it as jumping off a cliff.
• Insuflation: Snorting the hydrogen chloride salt of 5meo dmt was painless and resulted in no noticeable nasal drip afterwards. I’ve read many reports of people snorting 5meo-dmt and getting burning sensations, nasal drip and mild effects, I am convinced they were trying to snort the freebase. This will have poor results as the freebase is non-polar and the mucous membranes it must be absorbed by are polar.
•• The yoga sutras of Patanjali describe the attainment of the highest mental state, Samadhi, where the fluctuations of the mind cease, the ego recedes and all that remains is pure consciousness.
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