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Know Your Source
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Leviticus
Citation:   Leviticus. "Know Your Source: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp88943)". Erowid.org. Jun 20, 2022. erowid.org/exp/88943

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 tablet oral Bad/Suspect Ecstasy
  T+ 24:00 2 tablets oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 205 lb


I tried ecstasy for the first time a few months ago at a popular outdoor music festival. At the time I had plenty of experience with alcohol and cannabis and had also tried nitrous oxide, mushrooms, and a plethora of pharmaceuticals including speed, benzos, and opiates in various dosages and combinations. I had been very curious about MDMA and knew that it would be available at the festival. I researched its effects, but I was ignorant of the fact that ecstasy tablets commonly contain substances other than MDMA.

On to the experience:
I bought one tablet sold as ecstasy on the second day of the festival, a pink/red tablet pressed in the shape of a heart. The dealer said they were 'triple stacked'. I apprehensively downed the tablet and waited for its effects. After an hour, the effects were not very strong or remarkable and resembled the feeling I got when I took moderate doses of adderall. I was stimulated but little else. Oh well, I thought naively. I am 6 foot two and weigh over 200 pounds, I just didn't take enough. I had also been told by one of my friends that had rolled before that some people do not roll the first time they try ecstasy (this, I think, is a myth). Little did I realize that these heart shaped tablets were not MDMA.

The next day, I bought two different tablets from a different dealer for 15 dollars each. These tablets were blue with a logo that was indistinguishable. Oddly enough, these tablets were cheaper than the hearts, which were 20 dollars. This time, the tablets were supposed to be 'quads' (Now, of course, I realize that all of this double and triple stacked business is complete nonsense). I snuck the tablets from the campground area into the area where the stages are located and the artists perform. I swallowed both tablets thirty minutes before this band my friends wanted to see was set to perform as I had read that MDMA can increase one's appreciation for and enjoyment of music. I walked around with my friends for a bit browsing through the different vendors. Right before the band was set to play, I went with one of my friends to buy a bottle of water from a stand right across from the stage. As I paid for the water and reached out with my hand to grab it, strange sensations began to pulsate through my arms and body. Wow, I thought, this is not the same thing I felt yesterday.

I walked with my group of friends over to the stage as the band came out to perform. As it was the middle of summer and hot as hell, it was hard to tell if my profuse sweating was from the pills, the heat, or both. The best word I can use to describe what I was feeling is that it was an intense 'rush'. I stood there in front of the stage in fear, imagining this anti-ecstasy ad I had seen a long time ago in which a girl collapses in the middle of a dance floor from X and is carted off by paramedics, presumably dead. I was fearful and thought I was going to collapse and wake up to paramedics and police asking me what I had taken. The strangest and most unsettling thing about the experience was that after I realized that I wasn't going to die I imagined that as a child I had felt the same feelings and had repressed the memory all these years. I imagined that some strange person gave me a pill and I took it and collapsed, waking up to police and paramedics asking what I had taken and them telling me that I was high. This kind of freaked me out a bit.

I did not feel connected or closer to the people that were around me, if anything I felt alienated from them.
I did not feel connected or closer to the people that were around me, if anything I felt alienated from them.
Around 30 minutes after the effects manifested themselves I began to calm down but was still weirded out because I really felt like I had been given ecstasy as a child and had repressed the memory. My friends knew that I was rolling and asked to see my eyes. I was wearing dark aviator sunglasses and when I removed them my friends began to laugh. They told me later that my pupils were huge.

Over an hour after the first band started their set, I went to a different stage to see one of my favorite bands, the Melvins. I had calmed down and no longer thought I was going to die and I had also put the repressed memory idea out of my head to ponder at a different time. I was in high spirits and the Melvins played for over an hour. The effects of the drug dissipated slowly over this time. By the time their set was over, I felt basically normal. I walked around a bit by myself and felt tired. I lay down in a grassy area and rested for a few minutes before heading back to the campsite. I was tired from lack of sleep the night before and did not feel any depression or hangover.

The experience freaked me out at first because I thought I had overdosed, and the repressed memory thing also felt very real. However, when I finished coming up I calmed down. I also no longer believe that I was drugged as a child even though the memory felt real at the time. The experience was not a negative one, although I am disappointed because I do not feel like I got all the effects of the drug that are supposed to make it so wonderful. I have done a lot of research into MDMA since then, and I believe that what I had ingested was indeed MDMA but a very high dose for a first time. When the dealer said the pills were 'quads' I believe he knew that they contained a considerable amount of MDMA. I now know that less is more when it comes to MDMA. Although I have no way of knowing, I believe that I took over 200 mgs of MDMA. I want to try ecstasy again, but I am not going to buy tablets from strangers and I am going to start at a smaller dose.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 88943
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: Jun 20, 2022Views: 462
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Bad/Suspect Ecstasy (567), MDMA (3) : First Times (2), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)

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