Citation: newrainbowchild. "Kundalini and the Power of Love: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp89368)". Erowid.org. Apr 19, 2016. erowid.org/exp/89368
Mid January - I am at the peak of my existence in terms of health, energy, and happiness. Present and happy to be here now I have been practicing Kundalini Yoga regularly for 4 months now and it has opened many doors and caused me to be moving faster than ever before in my path in life. For about three weeks I have been practicing every day, sometimes twice a day and feel great. I had also been setting a lot of intentions through my spiritual practice- to embody the essence of love and to be open and honest with my actions among others. These intentions, in the process of reshaping my life would shape my trip as well. All my other psychedelic and spiritual experiences had taught me so much about life and truth that I couldnít imagine that I had much more to learn. One thing I was interested in learning more about was the nature of our dreams. This inquiry I submitted into the universe gently and patiently to see what I would be taught. Along with my personal spiritual practice I have met many wonderful and open people who share my beliefs and goals in life. Among these is A, a new friend who has experienced many other natural psychedelics and such but has never experienced LSD. I, having dabbled in it enough to consider myself experienced, enthusiastically agree to share her first experience with her. It is at this point that our journey began.
I kind of wanted to take a large dose, but wanted to be on the same level as A. We agreed to take 2 each. I took the vial and gently dropped two on each of our tongues. This acid is called Amber and tastes unusually bitter. We talked and played some music, waiting for the trip to begin.
It took about 45 minutes to start feeling the effects, first some interesting body sensations and then distortions in perception. The visuals kicked in for A before they did for me, probably due to the fact that I had eaten relatively shortly before dosing. They started to work for me too and I began to have an urge to go outside. It was very cold for Texas, about 30 degrees and it took us forever to bundle up and go outside. Finally I managed to get my water bottle and my keys and we headed out. I was struck by more rainbows than I had ever witnessed before. The sky, which had been dark and cloudy for days, cleared up enough to glimpse the striking contrast of the black night sky behind the swiftly moving clouds. I saw what I perceived on a microscopic level to be each individual water molecule connected to create the whole cloud. Everything was changing and flowing and it looked marvelous. After staring awestruck for a little longer we proceeded to migrate to an elementary school field in my neighborhood. This took a long time because everything looked amazing! The concrete seemed to be sinking in twisting patterns and the trees reached out to us, beckoning with bright rainbows streaming through them.
A and I laughed and ambled along and I was struck with a certain familiarity, as though I had known her forever and we had been on journeys together before, though we had only met a few months ago. We surmised it may have been previous lifetimes. Finally we made it to the field and it seemed that the grass was reaching up at us and waving in those same rainbow patterns. We lay up at the sky again and talked and stared. The half moon made a surprise appearance, cascading brilliant white light through the void in the clouds. Everything was so beautiful. After probably 3 hours, we were both freezing and decided to head back. I was once again struck by the grandeur of the trees but the low temperature rushed me along. We came across an immensely fluffy cat, whom I consider a neighborhood friend. The catís personality cracked me up as in unabashedly rolled all over the place seeking attention. I sensed the energy present inside this cat and respected it as its own being. We made our farewells and then proceeded to continue on the path to my apartment.
When we got inside I truly realized how cold we had been out there. My fingers and toes were numb at the tips and I massaged them to try and bring back sensation. I was very calm and clearheaded at this point and felt at complete peace. My mind, usually assailed by thought torrents, was completely serene. I felt meditative and calm, relaxed and immobile. A and I sat on the couch together and talked some more. She attempted to describe to me what was going on in her mind and what thoughts, ideas, and sounds were popping up. What she was saying seemed so amusing to me and I tried to imagine it but felt only the calm detachment of my mind. After awhile I got up to stretch and briefly did some yoga poses. I couldnít really focus on a complete set so I just let it flow as I felt. It was about 3 in the morning at this point and most of the visuals had tapered out. I began to think about how sore my body was and how much I would appreciate a massage. Then I thought about how I can help other people and was struck with sudden inspiration to give A a massage. I just felt out what would feel good to me and proceeded to give her what I was feeling. I could tell she really appreciated it and it made me happy to be able to help and show my love. A received a text message from our instructor at this point which ordered her to arrive promptly at the yoga studio for morning Sadhana which she is required to do as part of teacher training. We didnít quite know what to make of it and I was sorry to see her go so soon, but I made her some cereal and berries and sent her off with a blessing.
At this point I decided that I would make myself cereal and smoke weed and then go to sleep. It was cold and I was exhausted. This is when things really went crazy in my mind. I hadnít smoked weed for a day or two prior and was not expecting in the least bit what was going to happen.
I hadnít smoked weed for a day or two prior and was not expecting in the least bit what was going to happen.
I fixed myself cereal, loaded my bong and took a few good rips. It was a creeper and I found myself in a completely altered state of awareness very suddenly a couple of minutes after smoking. My mind which had been so calm and tranquil earlier began to run at least four times as fast as usual. I was filled with all these crazy noises and bizarre cartoon-like thought voices. It took me a little bit to orient myself and I realized that this was my glimpse into the parade of Aís mind, which she had only been able to describe to me earlier. I found myself amused and challenged by the constant thought barrage. The invasive thoughts were not limited to the likes of Aís mind but rather were what I perceived to be auric energy imprints of other people whom I had interacted with recently or frequently. Some of the thoughts seemed like insignificant background noise, others were invalidating bullshit, and some were just bizarre.
I found the amusement within to take the situation very lightly so there was no point in which I was out of control. I found I just had to keep on recentering myself amidst all this hullaballoo to remain connected to truth and love. I used all the tools of acceptance and detachment which I have learned in previous psychedelic episodes and through my spiritual practice. Many thought forms and torrents were from my friend H, whose mind I have entered once before in the depths of a strong acid trip. I realized the residual effects resulted in creating a channel between our minds through which thoughts, ideas, and emotions could travel. This was fascinating yet dangerous and I feel that this experience truly helped me to realize the effects people can have on each other. We have tremendous potential as groups for motivation and growth, yet there is also immense danger when people use this influence for manipulation and deceit. Thankfully, I was in a position where I could clearly see beyond all the psychobabble and cut through to pure truth in love, or else this would have been a different story entirely.
Everything in my mind was happening so fast at this point that its hard to recall clearly, but I learned many things. My request to learn about dreaming was answered and I realized the nature of dreams, as alternate aspects in the dual nature of consciousness. What I mean by this is that what happens in our daily waking life that affects us on a subconscious level is mirrored in our dreams. These can be very subtle things that affect our mindset which may be exaggerated greatly in the framework of our dreams. I realized that our dreams are also not limited to ourselves but are also influenced by others whom we interact with and the thought-forms which they generate.
Another interesting thing I realized was that I had been given this psychedelic experience already in the dream state the night before. This was not the first time it had happened but one of the most pronounced times which it had happened in a while. For almost a year prior, I had had these dreams in which I was a third person observer of my waking state, making comments and watching myself intently in the process of daily activities. When I awoke I would always forget the dream, but smoking marijuana brought about awareness and remembrance and allowed me a shortsighted (30 second-couple of minute) premonition of what events were going to take place, what would be said and done-etc. I realized that I had made this agreement in my dream last night that part one of my trip (as well as my dream) would be filled with clarity while part two would serve as the mirror in which I would experience all the auric attachment and subconscious thought analyzation mumbo-jumbo in order to learn the what I needed to.
Everything was happening so fast I could barely keep up. I felt my chakras vibrating, spiraling, and going crazy. I felt all of them but some were definitely more pronounced. My naval chakra felt very strong and I realized that this was why I was remaining centered during this crazy mind hurricane and was a result of daily navel strengthening exercises of kundalini yoga. My heart also felt open and this was the source of my acceptance and openness to love so I could let go of all of the unwanted thoughts. However, the most intense feeling of the chakras resided in the third eye, from which I felt the most intense throbbing and pulsing of my life. It seemed like a sky beam shooting out of my forehead and into the universe. I got an intense urge to meditate and abandoned my cereal to go lie on the couch. I tried to focus but like I said my mind was going 4 times faster than normal and every time I tried to focus my awareness had already fled to some other fancy.
The same thought pattern looped in my mind: A bizarre thought would come up, I would accept it and realize that I was God (endowed with infinite creative energy), then I would realize that this meant that it was my duty to affirm all that is God through love. I would hear the universe laughing in this little jingle sound as all the molecules which make up all that is manifest would vibrate with joy. Then the whole process would begin again! This took less than a second but happened continually and was actually quite amusing. I looked up at my ceiling fan and saw this ancient script spiraling and making up the form of the fan. I looked around the room and realized that this script was what composed everything. It was one word and I knew it meant love. It was continually moving but I saw that it contained some sort of molecular code for the composition of all objects. Perhaps this was the source of manifestation seen it yet another light!
I closed my eyes and really felt my body. The last Kundalini kriya I had done the night of this trip was targeted very much toward solar energy or Pingala. According to yogic science, chakras are aligned along the shushmana, the central energy channel along the spine. Spiraling in a double-helical fashion similar to that of DNA are the lunar and solar energy channels: Ida and Pingala, respectively. The left nostril is responsible for Ida while the right is so for Pingala. This gained a whole new meaning for me as I felt the intense split in power between my right and my left side. My left felt thick and heavy and when I closed my eyes I saw a purple-blue moving maze on my whole left side. My right on the other hand felt airy and almost empty and when I closed my eyes I saw yellow-orange-green spirals. I felt as though the solar kriya had made my energies go off balance with my solar almost depleted. This also served to explain my calm meditative state of the night before (and may also have something to do with my lack of sleep). The disparity was so intense that when I closed my eyes and tried to travel up and down the chakras, I was unable to because I had a sort of skewed double-vision, akin to astigmatism. This amused me and empowered because it was an affirmation of the power that the Kundalini Yoga was giving me.
Amid all these rapid revelations was the same recurring theme: I am God, I have the infinite power to create things into manifestation, as part of the Source, I am the Source. But every time I got caught into the wonder of the power always the universe reminded me laughing that this was all love, my power was intended for good, for the greater service to humanity. There was no place for the ego. I realized that this would be my biggest challenge as growing to become an enlightened being I needed to be responsible with my gifts and not get caught up in an ego-trip.
I closed my eyes and began to get rapid visions of the past, present, and future. I saw that my weakness, arrogance, was inherited from my father in my DNA but that I could let go of it and live with love first, through continual and vigilant determination and practice through service of the greater good of humanity. Certain messages and bits of information relevant to my immediate life were transmuted to me in the forms of images and words: ďYou are a very special being, and are here on this planet at this time for an important and specific reason to assist in a global transformation. This time on earth is very crucial, everything is moving faster and further than ever before. There is about to be a massive shift, in which you will play a huge part. Austin is going to be one of the crucial centers for this transformation so it is very important for you to be here now. I saw images of many of the wonderful people whom I have met in this community and realized that we were all here together right now for this grander purpose. I saw my spirit- light, bright, colorful, mischievous, and perpetually filled with the wonder of a child. I knew I was here to move quickly on an accelerated course in life so I could help and heal others with my love. I saw all the people in my life- my relatives and how they had shaped me as a child, though I was wild and had flown into the world to be free. I saw so many old friends and family who were not ready to take the jump, let go of fear, and live for love. Their spirits were delicate and beautiful but suppressed by some areas of darkness, knots of fear. I loved them but I knew they were on their own paths and would come home to love in time on their own.
In the mean time all I could do was keep space in my heart and let my love flow to them. I saw in particular my (step)sister M, my oldest friend whom I have grown up with. I saw her spirit, also light, airy, interspersed with glittery iridescent swirls of color- aqua, coral, cream, and teal. I saw how important her purpose was in life, how we had been partners in past lifetimes in many different types of relationships and how integral our roles had been in each otherís growth and development. I saw how deeply she had been wounded in this lifetime so far and all the steps she had made to uncover her brightness in the healing process. I knew she would grow above and beyond and that our roles in each others paths would continue and strengthen over time. All these revelations filled me with wonder and remembrance of purpose and I glowed with gratitude to be exactly where I was in my journey in life.
After awhile the visions subsided and I realized that I had pretty much completely come down. I thought about all I had learned and been shown and tried to remember it all even though it had come so fast. Iím sure there are things that I have forgotten. In conclusion, though I have already grasped the larger scope of the meaning and purpose in life, there is always more to learn and experience on the journey. The overall theme of this trip for me was that the animating love energy of the soul is infinite in scope and power, yet it is only through love and service that it may be tapped into and expanded.
This trip definitely empowered me and assured me of my purpose and path in existence. I am very grateful to myself for keeping strong with my daily practice of Kundalini Yoga, which has strengthened and transformed me to a degree where I was able to accept these insights. I am equally grateful to my friends and teachers who have helped me get to the point where I am at. As for LSD, though it has taught me much I donít want to trip too often, because I believe that psychedelics are great tools for awakening, but it is through a daily practice and discipline that we really progress over time, continually laying the foundation for being and becoming who we are. However, next time I do choose to trip I plan to go full out and take 6 or more hits and see what the universe has to show me this time. Namaste :)
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