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Babe of the Abyss
Citation:   Tiryn Zy'Zv. "Babe of the Abyss: An Experience with DXM (exp8937)". Sep 19, 2008.

T+ 0:00
4 oz oral DXM (liquid)
  T+ 0:30 4 oz oral DXM (liquid)
  T+ 1:00 4 oz oral DXM (liquid)
It was a Thursday, the weather was atrocious outside, the monstrous heat wave which had been baking the Eastern United States was yet unabated. No worries though, I spent the trip inside. I had made sure not to eat for at least six hours. Now I know full well that it's not all to much time, but on my prior 5 trips I never even took it into account, and I think it did effect the quality of the experience greatly, though twice that much time would have be truly prime. It was 6:00 p.m. EST, my mom was preparing to go out and my dad was watching a movie. All whilst I chugged a 4 oz of Vicks 44, ummmm. Thirty minutes later I downed another, then thirty minutes after that (I find this dose regimen effective, though I will probably extend the timing to 45 minutes or an hour in further experimentation), and again a half hour after that, the effects at this point (1.5 hours) were beginning to show. As usual at this time I jump onto my computer and type, I find it interesting what sort of compositions I generate in the altered state. I emailed a few friends and before I knew it, 8:00 had come upon me, I went to my room, dosed one last time (for the night, of course), and lay in my bed. That hour dragged on, I checked my alarm clock every three minutes or so (don't really know why though, it just seemed that I HAD to? Puzzling...), and the effects started to compound. Now I find I writhe a lot on Dex, and I MEAN A LOT. Maybe it's the reptilian brain exercising it's serpentine nature... I'm not sure at this point. I turn on my TV at 9:00 p.m. EST, Cartoon Network, Scooby Doo, one of the movies too. Can't remember which one, but I find cartoons in this state VERY startling. My previous trip (a week before) I had turned on the TV to find Daffy Duck's Quackbusters, which was, for me at the time, EXTREMELY weird. Side from that I could feel the anesthesia set in (probably already was but I didn't pay attention, or perhaps I did and simply forgot. Distorted short term memory and all). More writhing on my bed. At 10:30 p.m. EST I heard my mom come home, and on an automatic impulse, turned off my TV, my lights and made to sleep. She spent some time downstairs, 30 minutes or so. Whilst while I was pulled deeper and deeper into that wild weird world of DXM. When she finally decided to go to bed, she came in my room, 'woke' me up, and complained that I was burning up. So she went into the room parallel to her's and got a fan. She then proceeded to read for a while in her room before going to sleep. Whilst while I found my self drifting and drifting deeper and deeper. From this point to 2:30 a.m. I lost my alarm clock three/four times in the most heavy portions of the experience so I never really could tell what time it was or what, but it didn't matter at the time, of course, given the heaviness of the experience.

Now for details: At this point I started to lose all sense of time, and given that it was very dark, space as well. At some point I came to the conclusion that I had no body, no ego, no soul, nothing, weird that it was that I still reflected on it all. Hmmmm. Anywho, as it progressed I came to feel as if in the Abyss, all darkness, all absence, nothingness. To someone else this might have constituted a bad trip, and it could have, but at the time it didn't even matter. I felt I had always been 'there', the constitution of my 'life' being little more than a passing illusion, a dream. I had come to these existential (I hope that's the right word) quandaries before in previous trips, but never so deeply and realistically. Devoured in the formless and gaping (now that's a paradox!) jaws of Choronzon, infinite devil of the void (of more later). Twas' a blissful oblivion, if an amoral and indifferent one.

Trip music was Richard Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra and Don Juan (but mostly the Opening of ASZ..... TRUE POWER!!!) and Stravinsky's Rites of Spring (which are disorienting and fearinspiring in an ordinary state of consciousness). Plus the Prodigy's Fat of the Land album (earlier on).

The rest of the night I came down, going to the bathroom repeatedly for various reasons, usually the usual of course. I found my vision unbelievably impaired, my head looking abombinably large in comparison to my body which seemed disjointed and possessed of a insane angular structure. Kewl.

As to the spiritual, or shalt I say shamanic (mystical, magickal, scatological... hell it's all terminology for the expression of a condition which words seldom possess the virility and capacity to explicate and develop.), aspects, the dissolution into an abyss, or a dark (well, more than that, it wasn't just an absence of light, more like an absence of everything) egolessness, was one hell of a ride, um emphasis of the burning place. heh heh. My spiritual path, well, so to say, is Thelemic, or was, I am experiencing a lack of passion for such a limited system (and it's pretty damned libertine, intellectual, and literary!), but that's not the point. At the time of the trip, the symbology of Choronzon, or the demon of the abyss, ie personification of confusion, dispersion, pestilence (more of a psychic nature than a biological), and such, was such as to be reinforced by the Dex, giving me the experience (or so my inner skeptic says) of a loss of identity, form, history, ego, ectera and all that human stuff. Devoured by the Demon.

Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Love is the Law, Love under Will

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 8937
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 19, 2008Views: 24,022
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DXM (22) : General (1), Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16)

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