Citation: Shift. "My Awakening: An Experience with LSD, Cannabis & Meditation (exp89617)". Erowid.org. Apr 21, 2020. erowid.org/exp/89617
||(edible / food)
||2 - 3 g
I've used LSD for (almost) strictly recreational purposes many times throughout the years, only vaguely aware of its true potential. Against the hysteria and distractions of overly elaborate party settings, it is impossible to see what LSD really has to show me. I'm no stranger to its effects but only recently began experimenting with it alone in meditation. It wasn't until this trip that I truly understood what spirituality meant.
The setting is my apartment, thoroughly cleaned the day before in preparation. I live alone in a modestly decorated 1 1/2 bedroom apartment. The living room walls are red. The couch, rug and furniture are various browns and beige's. The blinds are a light beige and were left down all day for ambient lighting on this sunny day in the dead of winter, which had a truly remarkable effect. There is a high counter/bar space separating the living room from the kitchen creating a nice open flow in the apartment. I also have several plants and a cat. This is my sanctuary.
10am: I eat my acid laden Oreo cookie and head for the shower. By the time I am done with the shower I am beginning to feel the first body effects. I get dressed and sit at my computer and begin working on music. I play keys and produce music, and already at 45 minutes my motor skills are rather impaired and I quickly gave up on the idea of writing/playing during this trip. This was the heaviest dose I had ever taken - three hits liquid, very strong and very clean. So, I grab a couch cushion, throw it on the floor and sit down cross-legged facing one well lit window (blinds down). I have no real experience meditating, however my whole life I have been very much concerned with the bigger questions. So I sat, and thought.
12:00pm: I am now for the first time in my life feeling my so-called 'Chi' flowing through me in the space that seemed to be just in front of my physical body. It was a warm energy that I could feel flow far beyond my own body in space. I begin feeling love and pondering all the people in my life. I begin making connections (but are really coincidences) about people and events throughout my life. The love intensifies. The visuals were all very beautiful as well.
1:30pm: I have now been through various positions of sitting/laying on the couch and floor experimenting with body position and symmetry for maximum 'Chi' flow. I now decide to stand and with my palms open and head up .... I was ripped open. I was ripped open in the most pleasant way I could imagine being ripped open. Inside 'me' was light. 'I' soon no longer existed. Only light and love existed and I was a part of it. I then perceived another light entity examine me. It looked me up and down so-to-speak and as if to say 'Well sir, you're not dead yet but I'm going to show you some shit', it smeared me across the universe and I felt infinity. I felt as if I experienced everything, all at once. As I realized I was experiencing this I was able to almost control it. I could come in and out of this feeling of infinity. Tears of joy are now rolling down my face. Uncontrollably so. I soon felt compelled to write something down, which proved to be quite difficult. I wrote in a very shaky/disembodied hand 'you realize that the mind's physical connection to the world is not the only connection it has. self exposed. and gone. ego matters not. love overwhelming. everything, all at once'. Ego death is a humbling experience but I have read recently that it can be terrifying for some people. I was having a bit of an out of body experience as well, but I'd say not completely really.
2:30pm: I am now face-to-face with my refrigerator staring at it (go ahead, laugh) and the space in front of me opens up. I begin zooming in on the fridge. It was the strangest thing. With each zoom in, there would be a slight pause, then a fast zoom, slight pause, fast zoom, etc. This created a tunneling effect. Like what I imagine the idea of a wormhole to be. It made me a bit nervous at first so I stopped it, slowly backing out of this tunnel. But gained confidence and went back in. Now, at this point there are no crazy colors. My thoughts are really very clear and my third eye is cranked wide open. That is what is allowing me to tunnel like this. Everything I saw was crystal clear. It was really so strange. I felt like I was peering into the smaller dimensions of the universe that we are normally unable to perceive.
3:30pm: It was around this time I began having what seemed to be a psychic connection with my cat and plants and feeling our 'spirits' communicating. I continued pondering people, love, physics (particularly Quantum Physics) and of course music. I went on like this as the peak wore off for the next few hours until a friend of mine, who had also gone solo that day, came over and we discussed our experiences.
During this whole time, it was pretty much silent except for one CD I would play randomly throughout the day. I do not watch television and stayed away from the computer the whole time as well. I am not afraid nor ashamed to tell you that that was the single most profound, eye opening, and humbling experience of my life. I believe I experienced what some people would describe as seeing 'god' or maybe Nirvana or what? I don't know exactly. It can't and maybe shouldn't be put into words. But I will say, my spirit has been awakened. I realized that I was shown all this to come back and be as compassionate as possible and that is what I intend to do.
All told, the trip wore off completely by about midnight and I was able to go to sleep. It is now two weeks later and the afterglow remains.
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