Citation: theGirl. "I Thought I Had Died: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp89621)". Erowid.org. Jun 15, 2020. erowid.org/exp/89621
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It was not my first time taking ecstasy pills. All 3 times before I had great experiences on all occasions.
But last night was by far the worst. My boyfriend and I like to pop Ecstasy alone. All times I've done them have been with him. So last night he surprises me with a 6 pills. I had never tried none of the pills and my boyfriend and I are a bit inexperinced. We did extensive research on the internet but found nothing alarming. We decided we were doing them all 3 each one at a time. I started with the lime green puma and he with the orange one. In 30 minutes I started to feel it. Felt so connected and everything just felt beautiful.
In 30 minutes I started to feel it. Felt so connected and everything just felt beautiful.
He was not feeling it too much (always happens, I feel everything faster, stronger and longer than him). So he decided to pop the second one about 20 mins after taking the first, guess he got frustrated because we werent feeling the same. So I decided to join him and took the second one as well. It was the pink puma this time.
Wow the best peak I have ever felt. Strong and intense. Everything was so smooth, like velvet. I was so at peace with everything. I felt so loved and I felt like I loved everyone I knew!
Then boyfriend decides to take a cigarette break outside and I of course wanted to join. It was about 30 F outside and as soon as I stepped out the nightmare began. I told him I was too cold and went back inside, he stayed outside. As I was walking in I felt like my blood was freezing cold. I started to feel like if I was leaving my body. My soul detaching. I felt my body shutting down. I saw my life flash right in front of me. I began to completely REGRET taking taking anything. I was convinced I would not make it. Then I started to accept that I was going to die. Like I started to tell myself that this is what it feels like. I felt so cold. DEAD. I yelled at him to come inside. That something was very wrong. I could feel my eyes rolling back. Boyfriend rushed inside obviously scared. He a registered nurse proceeds to check my pulse on my wrists and then announces that he could not feel a pulse. When he said that I felt like my heart dropped. I kept saying. I'm DEAD, I DIED. HE IS GONNA REALIZE I HAVE JUST PASSED AWAY. WHAT WILL MY SON DO WITHOUT ME?????
Alas he finds my pulse on my neck, it was at 145. Normal being around 70-80 and also had alot of skipped beats. He brought me some toast I guess because he thought it would 'sober' me up. And told me to take deep breaths, eventually all negativity and fear slowly faded away. He told me he was ready to rush me to a hospital. As he too believed I was dying. I felt myself coming down. And, I still decided to take 3rd pill. (blue maserati) BOYFRIEND COMPLETELY RELUCTANT TO THIS. And it did nothing. We even went for a walk while we waited to 'feel anything'. 2 hours later, nothing. Eventually went to sleep like at 6am. Woke up at 9 feeling actually refreshed. Went to work with no problems either. Every now and then I can feel my heart racing. As I type actually I feel it.
My boyfriend later in the day tells me that he actually believes that my heart stopped. He is an experienced nurse. Finding a pulse on a body whose heart is beating had never been a problem to him. Don't know what to make of this.
It was by far THE most frightening experience of my life. I don't know what happened. Did I take them too close together? Could it have been how cold it was? Maybe I had had too little to eat before I took the pills? (frozen yogurt with granola and walnuts). No clue. But I do not ever wish to feel that again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. And please value your body and your life.
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