DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 g	oral	Unknown	(edible / food)
T+ 1:25	1 bowl	smoked	Cannabis	(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

110 lb

Substance: Unknown Sold as Psilocybin Mushrooms but suspected to be Amanitas - A. pantherina

This experience occurred yesterday. It all started while hanging out with a friend (M). We were bored and sober, when we heard that there were psilocybin mushrooms being sold. We headed out and bought 4 grams between us, intending to each take 2. The mushrooms were inside chocolates, but we were never sure how because we couldn't see them.

Now, before I go any further, I think I should give some background. I'm 16, and have done LSD three times, psilocybin mushrooms once before, ketamine once, MDMA four times, and nitrous oxide, usually in combination with MDMA, and marijuana. M had only done marijuana psilocybin mushrooms once and had a terrible trip, and hadn't done any other psychedelics.

We drove to the neighborhood where I grew up, and parked my car at a park. We decided neither of us would drive, and we would stick around places that I knew.

So at about 2:00 PM we started to walk and each ate two of the chocolates (2 grams), commenting on how they tasted just like normal chocolate and waiting for the affects to kick in.

2:30 PM
M started to feel giddy, laughing at everything and playfully running around and tapping plants and trees. I was feeling sort of weird, but not feeling the effects yet. We concluded that M had a faster metabolism than me because he's really fit and exercises a lot.

3:00 PM
I started to feel the effects, and was feeling pretty okay. We walked through some tunnels in an arroyo. We both became frightened by the darkness and echoes, so we quickly ran out. I saw faces in the walls, and felt as if I were being chased. We felt better when we got out of the tunnels, and headed back to the park where I left my car. We sat beneath a tree, and I tried starting a conversation with M, but he stopped responding. I started worrying about him because he was so silent and didn't answer me when I talked to him. We ended up both silently listening to music.

3:15 PM
I texted two friends and asked if they wanted to come spend time with us, because we were both bored. They said they would come, and so we waited because I didn't want to drive and get them.

3:25 PM
My friends had still not arrived, and they texted me and told me they weren't coming anymore. This stressed me out, because by then I was starting to feel an uncomfortable body sensation, and nauseous. M stood up and stared at nothing. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he wanted to go home and sleep. I was worried about him, but I said okay, and asked if he knew his way home. He said yes, so I stood up to say good bye. We hugged, and I felt how tense he was. I was very worried about him, but I let him go home alone because I was starting to feel sick and tired. I walked across the street to my car. I got inside, and clumsily loaded a bowl of marijuana into my pipe, hoping to combat the nausea. I felt a little better, so I got out of my car and started to walk up the street to my dad's house that was near by.

3:35 PM
I finally managed to get to my dad's house after stumbling up the street and falling over various objects. I was feeling really terrible at this point. I stumbled through the front door and into the house, clutching the wall because I felt so off-balance. My mind felt somewhat clear at this point, and I easily told him I felt sick and wanted to take a nap. He was drunk, but let me go. I climbed the stairs on all fours, afraid I would fall down them if I tried to walk up them normally. I staggered through the hall and into my room, shutting and locking the door behind me, I collapsed into bed.

4:00 PM
I was having the worst nausea I had ever experienced. I felt like if I moved, I would throw up, but I never did. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I started to cry. I didn't know why I was crying, but I couldn't stop. When I got a hold of myself, I realized I was sweating a lot. My hands felt wet, and my sheets and pillow were damp. I started to feel depressed, thinking about my life. I started to hate myself, and I wanted to die. I was afraid, because I wanted to kill myself but I knew I shouldn't. I put on some music to block out the sounds of my dad and his girlfriend arguing about if I was okay. I closed my eyes, intending to sleep it off, but immediately opened them again after seeing some terrifying closed eye visuals.

4:30 PM
I felt worse than I ever had before. I felt almost poisoned. My stomach was churning, the nausea was so bad I thought I would die. My body felt heavy and hard to move. Suddenly, I had to pee. Very badly. In fact, I almost peed myself. Even though I really didn't want to, I rolled out of bed and stood up. Immediately I had to sit down again. I gagged, nearly puking, and became so dizzy I couldn't walk. But the urge to urinate was too strong, so I forced myself to walk, nearly falling down many times out of sheer loss of balance. I swung open my door and walked slowly, trying to look okay, but my dad noticed my strange walking. I reached the bathroom and turned the light on, shutting the door. I was almost too afraid to look in the mirror, but I did. I was horrified. I couldn't tell if I was just tripping really hard, or if I really looked as terrible as I did. My face was pale, almost green in color. there were dark spots under my eyes, and my eyes looked sunken. My pupils took up almost my entire iris. But what scared me most of all was the look in my eyes. They were blank and glazed, like those of a dead person. Upon closer inspection, there was something else; a deranged, insane look. Something I would expect to see in a truly insane person's eyes. They were distant, and I didn't recognize myself in them at all. Finally, I stopped looking in the mirror and went to the toilet. I tried to sit down, but missed completely more than a few times, until I finally managed. I went back to my room and got in bed.

5:30 PM(I think)
I'm actually not sure what happened between 4:30 and 5:30. I think I may have lost consciousness. I know I wasn't asleep. I came to with almost my whole hand in my mouth. It was about 5 minutes before I could focus my eyes. I couldn't control my eyes, I felt like. They were rolling around against my will, and I couldn't see anything. I couldn't stop opening and closing them, and they were darting around the room. I was afraid I was about to have a seizure. I'm pretty sure I lost consciousness again, at this point.

6:00 PM
I came to, and checked the time. 6? It felt like it should have been at least 9. Suddenly, I heard a noise. I stiffened. It was a loud banging, rhythmic, almost a perfect tempo. I thought my drunk dad was having a rage attack, so I went outside, against my better judgment to find out. I opened the door and looked down the railing. 'What's that noise?' I asked. My dad, who was sitting in his chair, looks up and asks 'What noise?' 'that banging' 'There is no banging'. I then realized it was an auditory hallucination. But it didn't go away. I kept hearing it, and was convinced it was real. My dad's girlfriend looked at me. 'Are you running a fever?' 'Probably' 'Have you been to urgent care?' 'What? I don't need to go to the ER' 'are you sure?' And then my dad chipped in, his words slurred in his drunken state. 'I think you should go to urgent care.' I became terrified, and defensive because I didn't want to go the ER. 'I'm fine!' I snapped. 'Why are you freaking out? I'm just sick!' and stormed clumsily back into the my room. Looking back, I understand why they wanted to take me to the ER. I claimed to be sick, and I was stumbling all over and I looked like I was literally dying. They must have thought I had a 105 fever or something.

6:15 PM
At this point, the noise that didn't exist was driving me insane. I started to feel quite literally insane. I think this is when I really peaked, because I started to become delirious. I could not decipher reality from fantasy, tangible objects from hallucinations. I quite honestly felt like how I imagined Datura would make me feel, since I have read quite a bit about it. I think I lost consciousness again for a few moments. When I awoke, I did so in a pure panic. I snapped up and stared around wildly. When I realized there was no immediate danger, I laid back down. 'What now?' I thought. 'I'm on shrooms. When can I go home (my mom's house, 45 minutes away)?' When I thought about it, my blood ran cold. Where was home? How would I get home? Was I home? Who was I? What is my name? I tried to remember anything I could about my life, but I could not. I merely existed, fucked up on what I believed to be psilocybin mushrooms. I had no individual life. I was no one. I just existed and was on shrooms. That's all I knew.

6:30 PM
Suddenly, I noticed my door knob was turning. I watched as my door swung open, but there was no one behind it. Confused and frightened, I dragged myself out of bed to go close it. When I stood up and took a single step towards the door, I realized it was closed. Not only that, but it was locked. It had always been locked. There was no way anyone could have opened it just then. I was terrified. I didn't know what was real. That hallucination had been as realistic as if it had really happened.

7:30 PM
Basically, between 6:30 and 7:30 I just felt terrible, nauseous beyond anything I've ever felt, depressed, and delirious. Usually I didn't know who I was, my name, or anything about my life. But when I did get vague flashes and memories of who I was, I hated myself. It was quite literally the worst hour of my life. At about 7:30, I started to feel more sober. The hallucination were fading, and my mind began to clear. I knew who I was, and I wanted to go home. I had an unbearable urge to go home, and be sober. I knew I should wait maybe another hour, to sober up all the way before starting the 45 minute drive back to my mom's house (where I live nearly full time), but I couldn't stay here a moment longer. I got up, gathered my scattered belongings and walked as composed as I could into the hallway. I met my dad halfway, and he asked if I could talk to him. Feeling terrible, I simply told him I wanted to go home and I couldn't deal with him right now. I HAD to get away from here. Already I could feel myself weakening. I started to feel myself falling over. I had to hurry, or I was afraid I would collapse. I went downstairs, and met his girlfriend in the living room. I told her that I was leaving, and she gave me a scared look. 'Be careful...' she said quietly. She was terrified for me. I was terrified for myself. I mumbled quietly, 'I'm fine' and went out the door. I staggered down the street, so exhausted I was afraid I would collapse. It took all my strength to get to the park and get into my car. As soon as I got in my car, I felt better. The nausea vanished. I plugged my phone in to the charger and turned the car on. It was so familiar and comforting. I was safe.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
8:00 PM
Just before I pulled out, I remembered M. Almost afraid to text him, I picked up my phone and sent 'Wow, I had a really bad trip. Are you okay?' I still had an unbearable urge to be at home, in my bed, with my animals, and just safe and sober. I was still tripping a little, but was basically sober. I pulled out and started to drive through the neighborhood, not feeling ready to venture out into the real streets. I passed a car, and was immediately terrified. It looked so large and threatening, shining metallicly and glaring with bright headlights. I forced myself to drive normal, and decided to drive in the neighborhood until I was used to the feel of driving. The lights on people's houses confused me, and sometimes I was afraid I would crash. But eventually, I felt better and better until I was sober enough to head home. Feeling confident, I took the easy way home, less dangerous because of the lower speeds and fewer cars. I noted how I was actually driving better than usual. I had a confidence I did not usually have.

8:30 PM
I was close to home. I was driving well, and felt very relaxed. I wanted to cry with pure joy. I was so happy to be sober. I wanted to be home and see my mom and my dogs and get into bed. I felt so grateful to be alive and safe. I don't think I could ever experience this gratefulness unless something like this happened.

9:00 PM
It took me 15 extra minutes to get home, but I was grateful to be home. I walked into my house and kicked off my shoes, and immediately went to my room. I fell asleep almost right away.

The next day (today), I awoke feeling like I had mentally, emotionally, and physically been hit by a truck. I was sore all over. Even my tongue was sore, and my toes. I was shell shocked, and terrified for M.

I got on Facebook and saw he was on. With relief, I asked him if he was okay. He asked me what happened, and told me he had had trashed his house, broken his nose, and his parents thought he was crazy and did heroin. He had attacked his brother viciously, but he was not hurt. I was devastated. I felt entirely responsible.

I have spent all of today basically laying in bed, trying to get a grip on what we went through. I feel poisoned, quite honestly. My body hurts, and feels hard to move. It feels almost like the after affects of datura that people describe, but I can see just fine.

After talking to a lot of people, we concluded that the mushrooms were likely amanitas, because there is a species (A. pantherina) that grow in my area. I read a report on the ones that come from my area, and the effects sounded very similar, including the torturous nausea I felt. I'm pretty sure the person I bought them from wanted to make a quick buck, and sold them to me for the price of psilocybin mushrooms when she really just got them for cheap from someone who picked them from the area.

All in all, this was no question the worst experience of my life. Never before have I felt such terror, depression, and physical ailment. I'm thrilled to be sober and safe, and am never touching any sort of mushroom again. I'll stick to LSD and ecstasy and marijuana from now on.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 89990
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 16
Published: Aug 8, 2018	Views: 3,808
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