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I Was So Anxious to Get Back to Reality
by EC
Citation:   EC. "I Was So Anxious to Get Back to Reality: An Experience with Ketamine (exp90202)". Jun 6, 2018.

T+ 0:00
84.5 oz oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine (liquid)
  T+ 0:00 10 oz oral Alcohol - Hard (liquid)
  T+ 0:00 3 glasses oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine (liquid)
  T+ 0:00 1 cig. smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 0:05 200 mg insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals)


Unexpected K-hole Entry

Setting: Just arrived, very drunk, at an unfamiliar house, knowing only one person at the party.

Duration of k-hole: Around 40 minutes (seemed shorter when experiencing it)

Substances: I drank 2.5 litres of beer, .3 litres of whiskey, three glasses of wine. I smoked one joint of weed five minutes before snorting around 200mg of ketamine.

As soon as I snorted the line I felt the effects come on strongly.

I got up off the couch and walked over to the door where I gripped the door frame as tightly as I could. My body was completely stiff and rigid whilst gripping it, I felt like I had to hold on to the door frame to keep myself from been pulled upwards. My friend, J, lifted me away from the door and sat me down on the couch. By this time two minutes had passed since I took the line, I was completely immersed in my mind and had no physical feeling of my surroundings.

I had the feeling my brain was ďwetĒ and realised I was tripping because I was watching cartoon like entities running around laughing and joking in my head. They didnít take any notice of me, it was like they couldnít see me but I could observe them.
By this stage I had completely forgotten that I had taken the line of ketamine so I was trying to figure out why I was tripping. I realised, the only other time I ever tripped like this was with LSD, (which I only did once) I then decided that I must have been spiked with acid by someone in the room. As soon as I thought I was spiked with acid, a feeling of dread and discomfort came over me. As I watched the cartoon like images in my head I was telling myself ďOh No, I donít want to stick through eight hours of this shit.Ē

The cartoon characters were replaced with video images of people living their lives around the world. I was just observing every day habits of humans living their lives on planet earth. It was if I was watching the story of the human race in fast forward but yet still detailed. I was really freaked as I didnít recognise any of the people I was observing and had no idea what this all meant. Then my perspective changed, it was like I zoomed out from observing people on the street to observing the earth spinning around on its axis. I watched as the blue colour of the sea and green coloured land dissolved and mixed together just like a water coloured painting of the earth would do if soaked wet.

I thought at this stage that the earth and everything in the universe is just like a painting, itís not real only we believe it to be. Then my perspective changed by zooming out again further to the point where there was complete darkness. Nothing existed in my vision. I was only conscious of my own thoughts. I realized (in the trip) that I (consciousness), created the world and everything in it. I thought I was the universe and that nothing else existed, only me. By this stage I was yearning to be brought back to physical reality. I remember thinking ďI canít wait to go back to the 3D dimension where I can feel my feet on the ground and physically touch things againĒ.

As I was so anxious to get back to reality and come out of the trip, I began feeling even more uncomfortable and worried that I would never go back to normal everyday life. Then suddenly I realized that instead of worrying about tripping why not try and just observe the trip and not identify with the terrible feelings I had. This helped me enormously. I didnít leave go of all the anxious feelings I had but I felt a lot more relieved just by letting go some bit. Then the picture of the earth rotating came back into my vision. I started feeling more calm and I started zooming into life back on earth. I then snapped out of the k-hole and immediately asked my friend to get me out of the house and back home. I could barely walk so he basically lifted me along the street towards a taxi with my feet scrapping off the ground. I got home and went straight to sleep in my bed.
The next day I woke delighted by the fact I survived my first k-hole. I knew that been very drunk, stoned and unprepared, in an unfamiliar setting with mostly strangers was the cause of me having a bad trip. I was at the same time joyful in the fact that by the end of the trip I managed to calm myself down. This reassured me that the next time I went into a k-hole that I could remember to calm myself and not feel so anxious and uncomfortable.

I feel that the dissolving of the earth was my minds metaphor trying to tell me that everything in the world is constantly changing, nothing is permanent only consciousness. Iím undecided why things were sped up and I definitely have no idea what the cartoons at the beginning of the trip were about. Overall it was a scary but worthwhile experience. Iíd be glad to do it again.

Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 90202
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23 
Published: Jun 6, 2018Views: 872
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Ketamine (31) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Large Party (54)

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