Citation: Anonymous. "Most Devilish Powdered eVil: An Experience with MDPV (exp90252)". Erowid.org. Apr 30, 2011. erowid.org/exp/90252
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Insidious Neurological Poison - AVOID AT ALL COSTS - A DIRE WARNING
If there ever was a substance that could make anyone a zombie . . .
Well as I sit here regretting one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I feel the need to desperately warn others not to repeat my stupid decision, please don't think of this as someone who is just coming down off a hard drug, and talking a bunch of BS because they currently lack any traces of dopamine. I am currently writhing around like a parkinson's patient, stuggling to coodinate my fingers to type this as quickly as possible to maybe one that one more person who might read this dire warning and maybe just maybe take this to heart and prevent what also might be the greatest mistake of thier lives also, okay so dire warnings aside, I will now try to recount as best as I can the last 40 hours or so . . . and you will notice within my language how screwed up and near schizophrenia this chemical has made me.
I think of myself as one of the most responsible neuro-chemical researchers out there, well above average Intelligence Quotient, I have an uncanny ability to deny myself administration of even the most addictive substances, I have tried every chemical that sounded even remotely interesting that I could get my hands and nose on in the past, excluding crack, herion and other potent opiates (they scare the hell out of me because what happens to those who do them) and NEVER, EVER have I lost control of my behavior, motor control, decision making, and what I would describe of as my soul like that which was induced, by this evil evil powder known as MDPV (Molecular Demonic Poison eVil), I'm not even exaggerating (Now taking a break to recompose myself and
hopefully regain musclular control to finish typing this, without mistyping every word and having to hit backspace after every word, which so far I have mispelled and retyped just about every single word I have typed, and the ones that are still misspelled are because I tried to retype them once or more and gave up, lol) . . . (Okay took a 2 hour break, meditated, took a ton of supplements, ate, drank water and I do feel a little bit better, and have better typing)
The Experience: (Times are estimates, but I did have a clock in front of me the whole time)
Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts.
See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
12:30am After a long day I decide I want a little something extra to keep me going and break out the PV, I eyeball 5mg, which was pretty damn accurate I'm certain and here we being
12:35am Feelin somethin somethin, pretty nice so far, increased focus and attention to details
12:45am Even Better, Hoping it stays this way for awhile, Increased Awareness, Bug Eyes, Big Pupils, Euphoria not alot but its there, I watch porn, smoke a couple vape's of dank, etc etc
1:00am Reading on the internet like a maniac, multi-tasking, posting, researching multiple issues, etc, getting alot done, thinking, nicotine was awesome
1:30am Decide, despite being previously warned, and against my own initial plan to do a little bit more, it worked the first time right, eyeball 4mg & 1mg, 1mg on the tongue, mmm chemicals
1:35 Fuck yeah here we go increased heart rate, want sex really bad, cant perform so no point in calling anyone to help me out there though, at this point shit is good anyway, watching like 4 movies skipping back and forth between them, total ADD behavior, vapin, more nicotine, watch porn, every addictive behavior I can think of basically, starting to feel a loss of control, (this is the beginning of the 'turning point' but I don't yet realize what horrors are to come), I start thinking that I found something awesome, I am just stuck in a weird euphoric/trance like state though, so its good but awkward, Also there were some minor visual hallucinations, wiggling, waving, tracers, not a lot, but similar to the 2C's, brightened colors
2:00am Again, decide to do more, this time I want to make sure I get the full effects and I'm done for real, accurately measure 14mg, do 10mg
2:03am Do the other 4mg, Wowwy, intense something, its really more of an adrenaline rush than dopamine though, the feeling I get from going down the first hill on a rollercoaster, pressure in the head, heart rate increase, i was keeping track though and it never went above 108, but that it still probably double my normal resting rate, now I'm pacing around my room, not wanting to go out anywhere, but not wanting to sit still either. Muscle tension is getting pretty bad, neck feels like it popped out of alignment, heart pains (mild) relieved by massaging chest area
2:15 things are getting weird, I dont feel in control of my own actions, like a puppet, or like the part of brain that is 'me' isn't able to access my body's actions, like I get up and start doing stuff, and I'm not in control
2:20 sitting still, trying to pull it together, ignoring all the paranoia, I still feel good, but slightly poisoned, and a little bit deranged, glad I didnt do any more than this, I see now why people say the experience changes w/ redose, maybe there is a toxic metabolite I wonder, or maybe this is hitting some strange dopamine receptor D2 or D4 I suspect, feels like mostly peripheral and not CNS effects
2:30 smoke nicotine, at this point I really notice my movements becomming, weird, robotic like dxm, but also shaky and there is a difficulty getting myself to move, I feel frozen, similar to how you freeze when someone scares the shit out of you, but without the fear, I'm really good at ignoring paranoia, I can see just about any else having a total freakout running down the street naked by now, there is just such a weird manic tweakerness going on, this stuff was in control, not me, I could barely use my computer mouse to navigate at this point, took all the effort I had to ma
3:??am feeling increasing concerned about my muscle control, sitting in my chair unable to move, I feel like a deer caught in the headlights, realize I've been sitting staring at my computer screen doing nothing for about an hour, this is the void state of nothingness, the state between being high and coming down, extended forever, I sit like a zombie with weird thoughts running through my head, I know this is chemically induced and that I will eventually come down, but I can't help but worry that I might stay this way, stuck an insane weirdo who can do anything but stare with bug eyes in some toxic trance
4:00am decide to try and cut this crap short however possible, take phenibut eyeballed 1.2g, vape a ton of herb, which helped for about 5 minutes
5:00am I realize now that I cant move even if I want to, my arms are paralyzed stuck to my sides, my legs are shaking uncontrollably, I can stop it for a few seconds, but then it starts right again, I know there is no way this is going to end any time soon, I can't even drink water at this point, having shallow breathing, trying to wash the evil out of my nose, making it kick in more, but i know I have to get it out of there, my face and throat are numb, I can't muster the energy to blow my nose, how pathetic is that I wonder
6:00am lying down, heart still going, annoyed at everything at this point, all the horrible side-effects, when will it end, I've been here before, but only with crazy combinations and much more fun beforehand
8:00am at this point I have gotten up and paced around a little bit and I decide to sit back down in my chair, I am so confused as to why I can't control myself, like I want to do something and I can't, and things I'm not trying to do I'm doing, then I try to wipe my eyes because they are all mucousy and I can see well, well my hands got stuck next to my eyes, pushing on my face, but it was like some built-in biological mechanism would not let me wipe my eyes no matter how hard I tried, and simultaneously I could not stop trying to do it, this was torture, I was pushing on my face, near my eyes for an hour straight, i got up and walked around, but I couldn't pull my hands from my face, my hands are shaking too, finally somehow I am able to grab one
hand with the other and pull it away from my face, what the fuck is wrong with me, this is enough to drive most people insane, I am lucky I have extremely tough psychology, and lots of experience with weird states of mind
9:15 I decide to try and blow my nose, by this time I am feeling super weak, sickly like a 120 year old, when I go to blow my nose I get stuck again, blowing my nose, but barely, holding the paper towel tight to my nose, trying to breath out into it for an hour, I feel like I'm suffocating myself but I can't stop, I am being forced to torture myself
11:00 trying to sleep again, feeling shitty, super annoyed, angry, crazy
12:00 I maybe get a half hour of messed up sleep, weird dreams that were just as annoying as being awake was, my neck hurts, my body feels dead, I wonder what the hell happened and had to keep reminding myself that it will eventually go away, and I pray that it will
1:30 whatever is in control of my mind and body at this point decides I will take a shower, I get in the shower and as soon and I start, the hot water runs out, well guess what . . stuck again, frozen, but now with cold running shower on me, I can't move no matter how hard I try, its like the harder I try to move, the more I just stand there and shake, the water is warm for a little bit until it runs out completely then just cold water, i manage to turn my back to it, I'm guessing that's because it was an involuntary muscle action, but nope no voluntary ones, not yet
2:00 after half an hour stuck in the running cold shower, i manage to turn the water off, but I'm still standing there, i go to blow my nose, stuck AGAIN, blowing my nose, over and over and over, what a wierdo, eventually after 20-30 minutes I stopped that and got back into my bed, delerious, dehydrated, exhausted, just wanting to come down
3:00 throw up, drink about 2 sips of water, no way I can eat anything at all, I hate this, I feel depressed, probably the worst I've ever felt, and i can still feel the drug almost full force, when will the madness stop, this shit doesn't get me high it just makes me crazy, I now know why you see those people walking all deranged looking homeless crackheads, they must be doing something similar to this to themselves . . . charlie sheen, i know what happened to him now, his dealer cut his blow with pv
5:00am - 5pm still awake, annoyed, really this part went on all day, got stuck blowing my nose a couple more times, shaking, writhing in wierdness, wide awake still, when I looked at something I couldn't look away, whatever had my attention, had all my attention, I couldnt do anything, zombie, I hate myself for becomming a zombie
12am (day2) hitting the 24 hour point, starting to comedown fully, it feels horrible, but at least its something different than how I felt for the last 20 something hours, less shaking, could control movement somewhat (sorta kinda), slower thoughts, I end up vapeing a huge amount just to knock me out, after a few more hours I eventually do pass out
4am (day2) wake up with a headache, rigid muscles, sore throat, swollen neck, inflammed sinuses, pain in the eyeballs, feeling of death, decay and weakness like never before, worse than meth, I still feel it working though, I hate it and just want it to go away forever, I think some people would want to do it again about this point, but there is no way, I remember all the stupid torture it was, I flush the rest down the toilet, yeah I decide it's so bad, theres no way I could even give it away
Noon (day2) wake up for work, ended up getting around 5 hours of sleep, still feel bad, but not quite as bad, had to drink energy drink to get rid of headache and function slightly, went to work, felt weird, hated every second, barely got everything done and came directly home
5pm (day2) finally got a little bit of food and water back my system, started typing this, took alot of nootropics, which is why I am able to finish it, and I really just want you to know how bad this crap is, its poison, its not worth it, do something else, anything else, this is basically the equivalent of sniffing glue and crack mixed together, it sucks, its evil, my soul hurts, I feel robbed, I hope this goes away completely and I can be myself again, I'm have unsteady walking, shaky hands, repetitive motions, feeling of desperation, okay I'm going to bed again hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
okay, crappy day again, despite 8 hours of melatonin-induced sleep, I'm totally tired, worn, frayed, getting slowly better though, probably a little bit of brain damage, feels like I had electro-shock or something, just really blank feeling, anhedonic, vision is a little bit different too, things look really clear but I feel like I can't see the whole field of view, I can only focus on directly what I am looking at, I'm guessing it will be a full week until I feel more or less normal again, going to finish up this write-up and upload, I really hope people see this before they decide to make the same mistake. 1-2 hours of euphoria, 20+hours of insanity, 3++ Days of comedown, maybe never return to 100%, its not worth it . . .
Reasons to Avoid:
1) Horrible Anorexia, worse than anything I have ever encountered, I would rather be forced to eat a 3-course buffet of greasy protein-rich foods on 120mg of D-Amphetamine than even take a couple sips of water on 25mg of MDPV
2) Loss of Voluntary Muscular Control - I was unable to wipe my eyes as I usually do to remove mucous/dirt from my contacts, every attempt left me, shaking with my hands stuck to my eyes, without the ability to move for at least 10 minutes, but up to a full hour, weirdest thing ever until it happens to you, you wouldn't believe such a thing was possible, even the 2 days after, I still feel very uncoordinated and physically retarded
3) Catatonia/Catalepsy/Being Stuck in a Pose Like a Robot Zombie for Hours - Could have been dangerous if driving, walking in traffic or even in the bathtub or shower
4) Heart Palpitation/(Possible) Cardio-Toxicity
5) Breathing Effects/Weak Shallow Breathing/Loss of Voluntary Breath Control - Could not cough or blow nose or expel mucous, highly annoying to say the least, at some points panic-inducing
6) Nasal/Throat Damage - Even though this substance is basic and not acidic, that just means that I couldn't feel the damage until later, and it's pretty bad, leaves a swollen, raw feeling
7) Insomnia - About 24 hours past the 'high' which lasted about an hour maybe less, tossing/turning/uncomfortable beyond belief, eyes wide open syndrome, delerium, despite feeling physically exhausted, and taking everything possible to help sleep, I can't even fathom how much worse the whole experience would have been without the supporting relaxation of Phenibut & kind buds.
9)Loss of Mental Control/ Feelings of Unreality
10)Hot/Cold Flash - Fever/Chills/Sweating - I couldn't tell at all whether I was hot or cold the whole time, my guess is I had pretty high temperature throughout the experience
12)Loss of Sex Drive/Complete Lack of Ability - Although my interest was at first increased, I completely lost the ability in every way possible past the one hour point
A DRUG THATS ONLY USEFUL PURPOSE WOULD BE FOR MIND CONTROL OR TORTURE
DON'T DO IT EVER, DON'T LET ANYONE YOU KNOW DO IT, THROW IT AWAY & DESTROY IT
IF YOU HAVE ANY OR KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS ANY, BEWARE OF IT BEING SOLD AS OTHER DRUGS, KNOW ALL THE STREET NAMES, BATH SALTS, ETC
I have no doubts this substance is neurotoxic, and long term or even short-term use could lead to schizophrenia, psychosis, stroke, heart attack, parkinsons, or any number of other diseases.
Do keep in mind this is only one person's experience and maybe other peoples dopamine receptors are different and would react differently, maybe my dose was too high, but it didnt seem like enough until I got to that point, if there is even a chance that this can happen then its not worth the risk.
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