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Love My Inner Selves and Seeing Reality
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
by HK
Citation:   HK. "Love My Inner Selves and Seeing Reality: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp90815)". Erowid.org. Jan 25, 2020. erowid.org/exp/90815

4.6 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (tea)


Trip Start: approx. 9:30 PM
Trip End: 3:00 AM
Took: P. Cubensis B+ strain
Dosage: 4.6g
Method: Tea

(Before I get too much into this, I have to tell everyone that this is my first experience with mushrooms.)

At about 9:30 PM, my spouse and I made—what we call around here—Philosopher's Tea, not sure what everyone else calls it. We make it like we would make tea, normally, but with mushrooms and honey for added taste...and we eat the softened mushrooms, too.

After that was done, I sat back and waited. We watched some television as we wait for it to kick in. I feel suddenly nauseous, but it's mild. I ride it out. It was like feeling slightly dizzy. This is nothing. I've been pregnant and I've had bad food poisoning, so this is NOTHING compared to that.

We decide to turn on Netflix, because—in his opinion, cartoons are great to watch. We settle on Invader Zim. The colors are so bright that I can't look at them. I look away only to see rainbows made only of blue and red on my walls. They move when I move my head. That's when I realized that they were starting to kick in.

I feel like I have to use the bathroom, so I go. Now, my walls are this strange fabric wallpaper. Like white and a light beige. I don't think I'm having visuals...until I look at this wall right in front of me. It looks like it's covered in one of those sheets of plastic that makes stuff look like a hologram. It's awesome!! I'm spending time in there moving my head and watching the patterns shift.
I have a brief moment of panic where I think that I might have had too much. It's okay. I calm myself and Snoop Dogg pops up in my head to tell me that it's “all good. Snoppy-de-zissle” and he played part of his “Drop it Like It's Hot” video for me in my head.

I take Snoop's advice to just relax and go with it.
I take Snoop's advice to just relax and go with it.
I leave the bathroom and sit back down. My spouse is naked and I realize that the little bit of clothes that I'm wearing are restricting me too. We lay on the couch together naked. Invader Zim goes off because Netflix is acting up and we turn on music. Nothing with words, just some dubstep and house.

This is when I look at my plant and realize that I'm in a jungle/forest. Everything feels like it if it doesn't look like it completely. I feel like I'm home. I'm so relaxed and peaceful and I can't stop feeling my own skin! I close my eyes and I see myself as who I was in another life. The other aspect of my soul. She's there with another aspect, my inner animal, my black leopard. They're with me and they're celebrating. I'm relating this to my spouse.

I realize that my kitty is a male. Which seems odd to me at first. I've never felt any sort of gender from it, so I assumed it was female. But I could be wrong, with what it is, gender is irrelevant. It flows like water. It can be anything it wants, it's my perception that colors it, adds a name, a label to it.

My spouse curls up to me and we start having foreplay. Initially, I was worried about the nausea coming back during sex and I'm soooo not into Roman Showers. I ignore myself and let it go. We make love. Now, I've NEVER had sex while on any psychedelics and neither has he. It's our first time for this together. The experience was beyond anything I ever felt. I don't even remember having an orgasm because all I felt was this incredible energy soaring through me and seeing bright tendrils of colors flowing from my body to his.
He moves to another position and I ask him, “Did I come?”
He tells me that I did and I giggle.

When we're both done, I climb into the tub in the dark to take a bath. The jungle's back. He joins me for a little bit and we talk. I tell him that I want to be one with him and live as one creature, he tells me that it could not work because we are meant to be separate. Somehow, this goes on to us talking about how men and women are the same, just with sex organs placed differently.
He leaves me. I close my eyes and colors and geometric patterns swirl. They move when I move my head.

When I get out, we lay down on the floor together and I can't stop moving. I'm dancing, but laying down. We talk like we haven't talked in years.
We talk like we haven't talked in years.
We discuss the world, ourselves, the things we are seeing. We're open.

I tell him that I wish everyone could feel like we feel now because then they'd all see the world how it was meant to be seen. No rules, no boundaries, no wars over petty things. If they could feel this kind of peace in the world, everyone would realize just how meaningless everything else is. The money, the nice clothes and expensive cars are all just distractions. My former self tells me something that I tell my spouse: “Sink your claws into a tree and climb it. I love that feeling because THAT IS life.”
I'm happy and at peace with myself finally.

He's having a similar experience with who he's been and who he is now.

At one point, I hear laughter and my god is there. Being the smart-ass that he always has been, he asks me if I'm going to stop being his and go become a tree-hugging hippy. My spouse and I laugh at this for about a good solid two minutes. He goes away, still laughing at us, but in good spirits.

The rest of the night was just a solid body buzz that I never wanted to end. We make love again and he has a full-body Tantric orgasm. He does get sick towards the end, but he's experienced at this. I only felt a little sick, but nothing came out either end.

The body buzz lasts for about an hour and a half and we drift off to sleep.

Waking up, I feel tired, but happier than I have in years. I've been struggling with depression for well over 10 years. I've had therapy and medication and none of that has worked. One night with these beauties and I wake up without feeling that depression.

Now, I'm not saying that mushrooms are an instant cure for depression, but what I am saying is that they helped me thus far.
Will I do it again? Most certainly and always with respect.

Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 90815
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 29 
Published: Jan 25, 2020Views: 1,024
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Glowing Experiences (4), Sex Discussion (14), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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