Citation: AL. "A First Glimpse: An Experience with DMT (exp90894)". Erowid.org. Jun 1, 2021. erowid.org/exp/90894
The trip took place at around 7:35PM on a Sunday evening. My roommate and one additional person, both relatively experienced in psychedelics, were in attendance. I had never tripped before this; the only drug I had previously tried was Cannabis. The dosage was approximately 40mg, ingested through a bowl. In the background was music by the band Celebration.
I began to feel the effects after the second hit. As I finished my third and final inhalation, the world changed very rapidly. There was no falling motion, no movement at all; just a complete shift, in no particular direction but utterly and completely, in my perception of the world. Visually it was as if the world had been submerged in a watery substance, but instead of a complete alteration of dimensions and deep refraction, there was simply a slow swaying. Objects such as my computer desk began to fade away; I could not focus on any one thing, and the shift had made it difficult to keep my eyes open. I opted to lie back on my bed and place my head on top of two pillows, closing my eyes and watching as the visuals appeared.
They were intense and unstoppable, filling my vision without ceasing. I saw checkerboard patterns of every color, zooming in different directions across my sight. From these checkerboards came a multitude of other shapes and patterns, whose forms I either cannot clearly remember or cannot accurately name. There were visions of speeding through colorful wormholes, exiting to approach a vast plane of squares. However, there was no finality to any of the kaleidoscopic sights; only an infinity of new ones, continuous visitations to strange new constructions in my mind. Although that which I saw was intense, it was somewhat faded; the visions sat between what I could physically see and my mind’s eye. They were not blurry, but not completely focused, if that makes sense.
As the music intensified and the effects of the drug reached their peak, I began to see dancing humanoid forms, strung together in a pattern, similar to those which could be seen on a tapestry. They appeared vaguely Asian in design, like the figures that appear in ancient Chinese art with strange, exaggerated features. Their hips were large and swayed back and forth to the steady beat of the music, which had shifted to a tribal theme. I held out my hand to my roommate, who was trip-sitting and far more experienced in psychedelics. Unsure of my request, he shook my hand, but I gripped it tightly and did not let go. I felt phantom pressure in my chest (likely anxiety), and perhaps feared a metaphorical “fall” from the world. This I considered only after the trip had ended; likely I was attached to my ego, and afraid to leave it behind (despite the irrationality of such a thought). This was probably due to the trip being my first, and it occurring during a time of considerable stress (directly before Finals were to begin). Despite my anxiety and inexperience, I was told afterward that I had been smiling throughout, and I can say in retrospect that I did enjoy the experience.
The drug’s effects began to fade and my mind returned to earth. There were still tracers around the objects in the physical world, but the visual effects had disappeared, and I was coherent enough to describe what I had seen. For the next twenty minutes, we stood outside on the balcony of the apartment and observed the world. There were no marked changes, but everything did seem clearer from a psychological perspective. By this I mean that the clarity was not describable visually, only that my perception of the world’s appearance seemed to be clearer.
We mulled over some of the philosophical implications of my trip. While it was far too short for any life-changing insight, there were some observations from which we could draw vague conclusions. My need for physical contact, and thus support, likely indicated an attachment to my ego, something which I hope to overcome in future trips. The trip was also relatively unplanned and occurred during a stressful time. My anxiety likely would have been lessened had the situation been different. Finally, I feel as though I took the DMT to prove to myself that I could. I wanted to prove to the drug that I could handle it, rather than attempt to learn from it. This is perhaps the most important piece of advice I can give to myself; for future, longer trips, I should approach them as a learning experience and not something to simply “do” and “overcome.”
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