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Wonderland Is Beatiful
MDMA
Citation:   mushystuff. "Wonderland Is Beatiful: An Experience with MDMA (exp90957)". Erowid.org. Nov 10, 2020. erowid.org/exp/90957

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
    Vitamins / Supplements  
  T+ 0:00 100 mg oral MDMA (capsule)
  T+ 0:30 100 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:50 100 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 1:15 50 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 1:40 50 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 2:10 50 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 3:00 100 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb
[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
Start, 7 oclock evening


Before I start describing my MDMA experience, I want everyone to understand that I have an extensive amount of experience with other psychedelics (mainly DMT, LSD, psylocybin). However, I had never tried MDMA before this experience.
I had never tried MDMA before this experience.
I've always been against rolls (because of my skepticism about what's in them), and chose to go through a friend I trust with my life. I bought a few grams of pure MDMA crystals. He warned me of the potency and urged that I take caution; I obviously did not listen to his advice. Nothing could have prepared me the night for which I will never forget.

1. The setting was one that was very comfortable. I had pre-loaded with niacin and vitamins that day knowing I would need them. I was home in my basement by myself, the rest of my family asleep upstairs...no clue that the whole basement was about to come alive. I started by swallowing the pill I prepared and then railing 2 50mg lines. Instant euphoria. The feeling is indescribable, and within minutes I'm in pure extacy (pun intended). My thought process began to speed up faster and faster, and my body felt orgasmic. Needless to say, I wanted more.

2. After enjoying some music, I decided to rail another 100mgs. Keep in mind that I did not intend to use more then 1 dose- but this quickly faded from my mind as the molly began to come more intense. Slowly everything started to have its own persona- It was beginning to feel as if I was in control of every object in the room...my guess was right.

3. Before I continue, I'd like to mention after asking many people whether they consider MDMA a psychedelic, most would argue it was more of a stimulant. I understand at low doses this makes perfect sense, but with quantity quickly became an altered reality. After my 400th milligram, something began to happen. People filled the room, objects evolved personalities, and my brain was as quick and precise as a computer. When I mean objects come to life...I mean they were ALIVE. The flowers on my table turned to flower-faces and began dancing and laughing. The geometric shaped quilt on my wall came forth and spun itself with ease. The pillows turned to smiley faces and everything was dancing and moving in unison. I was having a full body orgasm, and the world around me was too.

4-7. This is the point where most people dismiss my story. They claim that 'MDMA doesn't produce those effects' or, 'you're just lying about your dosage'. The full on hallucinations started, and they persisted for hours and hours. Knowing that no one will truly ever understand what was happening in my mind, I'll try to give a few examples of how intense the effects were. I saw my brain as an excell spread sheet, and every thought and idea was categorized and stored in its own specific place - every memory I have ever had was in stored in a 'bank-like' way. I also began to be talking to people, objects, and my pet bunny (whose cage is down there). At one point I was laughing with a mermaid who swam up to my couch and tried to splash me with water. The intense glow made my visuals seem realistic and alive. I had a conversation with my bunny, one that I will never forget. It seems that whatever idea or thought I had in wonderland, could be projected into the real world. At one point in time there was a bird flying above my head, animals crawling off paintings, and every single emotion and feeling from anyone on the television was felt. I could see everything, I had control over everything, and I was the only being in the universe with these powers. At this point I had extreme rapid eye movements, a tiring case of jaw-clenching, and the never ending pulsating energy flowing through my veins. While the last couple hours were filled with more consumption, It was hard to tell time- which is why I grouped the best parts.

Regarding after effects: MDMA is an extremely dangerous drug. It is mentally and physically destructive. I had extreme depression for upwards of 3 weeks. I had migraines, full body pain, and hot flashes at random. I wasn't able to look at light, move my eyes horizontal or vertical without pain, and couldn't focus on writing even the most simple of sentences. I had constant nightmares, and extreme impotency. I have forever learned my lesson and will never make a decision like that one again. No matter how awesome the experience was, and the incredible amount of enlightenment I gained from it, I feel I have permantanly damaged my brain.
I feel I have permantanly damaged my brain.
However I do not regret it. This whole trip is very difficult for me to write about. Even at 5 hits of LSD, LSD and mushrooms mixed together, and DMT or LSD, they didn't compare at all to this experience. Nothing ever will. It was literally a dream come true.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 90957
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Nov 10, 2020Views: 566
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MDMA (3) : Alone (16), Post Trip Problems (8), Depression (15), First Times (2)

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