Citation: XXXX. "The Grand Illusion: An Experience with 2C-E (exp91161)". Erowid.org. Jul 1, 2021. erowid.org/exp/91161
To preface this very useful experience with 2c-e today, I would like to say that I was once blind, but now I see. This report isn’t all about the effects of the drug, but rather the places it leads me to see in all of their glory. I have used cannabis daily, but have definitely slowed down on the quantity I smoke after going through a radical, and psychedelic aided journey into the depths of my consciousness. I have taken all of the “classical psychedelics” and then some. I used to take MDMA, but I have milked it for most of what is worth and it isn’t as spiritually fulfilling to me as something like 2c-e, LSD, mescaline, or especially ayahuasca/smoked DMT. I do not take strong narcotics or sedatives, at least not often. I am prescribed klonopin, but that, like pot has become something to take as needed (which is very rare after this transformation), rather than daily to bury my emotions. I also drink kratom and sometimes take kava to relax me.
Today was the day that we found out that Bin Ladin has a new successor in Al-Qaeda. I saw that one coming, but it still saddened me to see it all turn into an amplified war on terror, and a war on our civil and moral responsibilities of humans, murder is murder... As Ghandi says, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”. And even though we know that and even though we repeat it, we stumble... again and again. Our ego just pats us on the back, and we go up and come down and sometimes lose focus and forget the profundity of it all... I have gone through a radical shift thanks in (major) part to my exploring/curiosity, my opened mind, my open-minded grandma who is cool with my psychedelic use, and a big thanks to God and Ram Dass’ “Be Here Now.”
I dosed 20mg at about 12pm in a glass of orange juice, which did not agree with my stomach by increasing the duration of the nausea IME, so I’ll never put it in oj again. So, I waited for the come-up, which is remarkably fast because my body appears to be sensitive to the subtle nuances of a psychedelic trip, and I meditate and use a mindfold or smoke some pot for amplification as desired. It all started around 30 minutes, I had the first alerts and flipped through my “Be Here Now” copy for some sacred awareness and internal quietness so as to peacefully observe all of the terrifyingly beautiful visions and thoughts that were to come. This was a life changing experience, and very profound, but what trips aren’t in the right set/setting?
I was lying on my couch, listening to Michael Garfield, and began to have very intense CEVs and OEVs. I encountered an unfriendly alien at some point, but had no fear as they could not hurt me at all. I recalled silently how I was watching “Sid & Nancy” the night before and pondered heroin addiction a bit. I am going to be doing drug counseling in my internship for my associates, and the whole drug addiction psychology is something I have a lot of empathy for. Anyway, with eyes closed I just all of the sudden saw these odd looking fellows, very fake smiles and no true emotion, shooting up smack. I was then guided down a tunnel, and saw a marriage of two skeletons! I thought, “how poignant and uh, wow!” And most of my trips as of late have been chock full of synchronicity and prophetic, introspective enlightenment.
I had one not long ago where I shared a telepathic link with an alien who, when I asked, and on the odd day the HUGE tornados of 2011 hit my country, said “it’s happening!” with plenty of loud, drilling sounds amplifying with that very message. I again, digress. Oh, and by the way, these trips have definitely opened up a telepathic bond with God, and I now have the gift of glossolalia.
These visions were very dark sometimes, but I knew these beings are visualizations of them, and they could not hurt me, and had no ill will towards encountering/dismissing them. The visuals off of 20mgs of 2c-e are just phenomenal and earth/ego shattering for sure, with a strong psychoanalytical edge to boot. So, the intention today was to realize that my mother and her faults were something to not dwell on, and just for me to be there to illuminate, something which has been a tremendous struggle. Needless to say, I got what I sought for and then plenty of other epiphanies. My most important epiphany came after watching “The Killing Fields” for the first time, pondering all of the microcosmic/macrocosmic and sad struggles we are not addressing in a peaceful fashion. It saddened me deeply, but the story was inspiring. I also watched “Outfoxed” and had a really negative “media trip” and figured, why not just stop the negativity of the placating bullshit they spew.
I was sitting and watching the “news” and just really digging deep to my core. I realized that, no matter how much of a propaganda tool it really is, I can’t stop it because we wouldn’t have real news like the old days while these major corporations are calling the shots. I also realized why I watch it, and that is to further solidify my world-view, and to be in the peaceful company of my amazing grandmother. Every time I trip, and she is sober by the way, I feel a very comforting bonding experience full of introspective epiphanies because of the love/bond alone. She has been my guru, really.
So, I asked God what to do, as I was really tired of bitching about it all, no matter how awful it is because we are ALL going to die one day! I felt silly, as Ram Dass would say, and speechless (it’s hard to get me speechless too) when god said “it is all the Grand Illusion.” I promptly told my grandma about this thought-boom and made some visionary art to remember it with, just in case. I just talked and talked, and meditated and did some beginning yoga asanas, as I am but a beginner (maybe 6 months) on that spiritual path. I chanted, and spoke in some tongues, and just thought. I am still in the comedown/introspective phase which I find to be one of the amazing features of a trip. It is now 3:30 am, and I have just consumed some benadryl and kratom to help me sleep for some free hatha yoga in the morning.
I read my “Be Here Now” and really tried to work on myself. I got a call from my mom at some point and she was very happy for a change. She is becoming an enterprising self-employed woman, and I could then admire her efforts that are really bordering on obsession. I realized that I couldn’t change her head for her, she and I dose occasionally, but she is just too busy and too closed minded at this point to really benefit from the trips and integrate the insights because she takes some benzos or drinks after it just begins to come down... All I can do, like I said, is show her how far a once suicidal teenager could have transformed with the trips and definitely that book.
I have even more peace, and I can always learn from a psychedelic experience, however I have lately been pondering why I even take them now that I have learned SO much. I tricked myself into thinking I had milked them for all they were worth, and I was very adamant about ridding the desire to be one with it all, as that is all ego really. But, by doing yoga and meditating with my mindfold, and going in through the trips, and surrendering my vicious ego to the is-ness, I will one day even leave these powerful tools to my (hopeful) psychotherapy patients after I get my degree. I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Rick Strassman, Michael Garfield, and Alex Grey at the Manifestation Celebration this year, and that trip is what made me have even more drive to spread my message and get my Ph.D in psychotherapy. I feel that God, and my natural godhead and intuitive compassion would make me a great psychologist and I want nothing more than to help people who’ve been where I was about six months ago, more or less. I most of all today, felt complete peace with this “Grand Illusion” that I was shown with unflinching clarity and intensity.
I am forever grateful to these psychedelics, and 2c-e is definitely magical as Shulgin says... So, the point of the story is what? Hmm, well all I can say is I am living and working on truly being here now, and I will never be the sad soul I once was. This whole game of life is a big desire-pit, if we let it be. I can now acknowledge my shortcomings and constructively criticize myself by tripping with at least some intention, and more than anything, making it sacred.
Like the great Hunter Thompson wrote, you can’t turn your back on a drug, and I don’t regret any of my exploring with psychedelic tools. If we can all use them as that, and spread our message, and help people we can truly be the change we wish to see in the world. I hope you can all see through this “Grand Illusion” that is all of the power, desire, materialistic, negativity just become a big belly laugh as the cosmic humor and absurdity is just SO high.
I give thanks to Dr. Shulgin, and all the rest of the psychedelic illuminati for gifting us all with these, unfortunately illegal/grey-area substances and knowledge/experience about them. I really wish some idiots didn’t snort mislabeled bromo-dragonfly and MDPV then OD/die and see the media make it an excuse to ban 2c-e and plenty of cannabinoids and stimulants/empathogens... But, it is all relative to me now, just had to stock up a bit, and I will definitely stop tripping once a week as I simply don’t have the time due to yoga and work. I also play some guitar and theremin to surrender this ego we as a society latch onto.
I can only give you my deepest philosophical experiences, and I hope you don’t read this and think only of the chemical involved. The transformation I have had is just breathtaking and extremely fascinating, I mean, who’d of thunk I would EVER speak in tongues in the first place? Definitely not me... I’m more of a Taoist/Buddhist/spiritual believer in God (and that is all cool according to our telepathic talks) than the stereotypical “Christian”. Curiosity saved this cat’s very soul and livelihood, and I hope my experience today has planted a little seed for thought. Jai Ma!
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