Tears of Joy
Citation:   p3ych0n4ught. "Tears of Joy: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp91562)". Erowid.org. Aug 22, 2011. erowid.org/exp/91562

T+ 0:00
  smoked 25I-NBOMe (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:20   smoked 25I-NBOMe (powder / crystals)
After ordering from a reliable vendor I received 1 gram of 25I NBOME as a fluffy white powder. Unaware if this was the salt or freebase I proceeded to do a simple solubility test. The compound proved to insoluble in H20 leading me to believe that it was the freebase. I decided that vaporization would be the most effective route of administration. I had planned to use volumetric measurement but was unable to get the chemical to dissolve after several different attempts. (I later discovered that 25I NBOME freebase is soluble in 91% Isopropyl alcohol) But, this time around I had no accurate way of measuring at a ug dose so I prepared a dose as small as I could (eyeballing a dose this small is not recommended and dangerous). This was vaporized.

Set: I am in the middle of a cross roads in my life. I was living in the woods/ on the streets for a while and I am trying to make the right decision about reintegrating into society. I recently quit smoking Marijuana, JWH-018, and Cigarettes after long habitual use to try to clear my mind. I have been completely sober 30 days when I decide to take this trip.

I consider psychedelics to be some of the greatest teachers I have had and I consider myself to have a complex relationship with each I have used. Feeling lost I returned to LSD earlier this year. I went in with an open mind and open heart yet, I heard nothing. All I got was visuals. I turned to DMT and had the exact same experience. It was purely sensory and superficial.

I seek out a psychologist who is unable to help me see clearly how I can live within a class-based society without compromising my core values of basic human equality.

Setting: A CRAZY HOT summer day.

0:00 The smoke had a chemical taste as expected but it was such a small amount of smoke that it was easily forgotten.

0:01 The onset is quick. I feel euphoric and a sensation similar to previous experiences with 2C-E.

0:02 I feel a vibrating sensation move through my body. It continues and extends seamlessly to the room I am in as a rippling patter on the walls. Colors are more vibrant and my pupils are dilated.

0:05 – 0:10 My head space is very clear and I am lucid. The rush subsides and I reach a plateau. I am at a ++.

0:20 There is no change form 0:10 and I decide to re-dose with the smallest amount I can measure. This dose is vaporized.

0:21 The vibrating sensation becomes very powerful and the rippling pattern on the walls turns into solid bars of color which create dramatic swirls. I am at a +++. My room looks nothing like what it looks like normally. I can think clearly and decide to listen to some music.

0:22 The solid bar patterns on the walls begin to dance as I experience strong synesthesia. The proportions of everything in the room grow and shrink with the music. I am experience strong time dilation. The visuals are as intense as previous 500ug LSD trips but lack the geometric patterning. Unlike LSD even with this high level of visual distortion I can still think relatively clearly and continue to preform simple tasks like searching through songs on my iPod.

0:30 The visual distortion is very intense and music sounds beautiful. The trip seems to plateau again. But, this is not what I seek from this chemical. I see chemicals like this as an extension of the creativity of nature and I am looking to this chemical to help resolve a complex cognitive dissonance within me. ===> I believe we should all live as equals but I am dependent upon a society, that distributes socio/economic power unevenly, for things like health care, and the science that has created this beautiful chemical, and the computer I write this report on. I am disappointed but the trip is still euphoric and up-beat. I accept it for what it is, swirly patterns and bright lights. I don't expect much more.

0:40 I decide to go for a long walk outside to enjoy the sun. I change clothes and put on my shoes with ease. I am surprised my fine motor skill are as enacted as they are. If I were on LSD or DMT with this level of visual distortion the thought distortion would be to intense for me to walk around much, let alone tie my shoes.

1:00 Music is beautiful. I am completely content. I walk for another hour.

2:00 I get back home and realize the trip is still at a solid +++. I take a shower. Every drop of water that hits my body makes a radiant multi colored circle on the wall, ceiling, or floor.

4:00 I decide to go for another walk.

5:00 It's dusk, the visuals are beginning to subside. I'm still listening to music when suddenly the euphoria in my body shifts to a powerful empathy. I can suddenly see everything in my life independent of my emotions, fears, hopes, aspirations. It reminds me a lot of MDMA. I realize how distracting the music I’ve been listening to for so long is and I take my headphones out, lay down next to the path I am on and just listen to the world around me. I hear my neighbor's dogs barking and cars driving by. It was like everything I was trying to figure out in my life, my internal monologue, everything just shut down and in thinking about nothing I suddenly understood everything. The tidal pool of emotions and ideas within me was suddenly a placid lake and in that lake I could see myself reflected as I truly was. I simply lay there not happy or sad but completely at peace. I don't know for how long. Time simply did not exist for me.

Out of 50+ trips I can say that this was one of only 2 times that I have ever reached what I would call a ++++. I realized that I should not spend my life trying to run from the crazy society we live in to live in my own idealized world. Instead I should grow where I am planted and accept the world and its complexities as the divine embodiment of nature's creativity ever evolving. Always as it is meant to be. It was time for me to stop arrogantly imposing my ideals about the way things should be in a world too complex for any one man/woman to understand. To stop trying to change everything around me and instead “be the change I want to see in the world” from where I am.

?:?? Eventually I get up and decide to walk home. My mind is so clear, it's like a chalk board that has just been wiped clean. I start to cry tears of joy for the first time in a long time.

Sleep came easy that night and I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed.

This experience ended a powerful depression I had been in instantaneously. I don't know how and I can't explain it. It just happened. This chemical has changed my life.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 91562
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Aug 22, 2011Views: 36,404
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25I-NBOMe (542) : Depression (15), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)

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