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Mind Control
Cannabis
Citation:   Malicious. "Mind Control: An Experience with Cannabis (exp91593)". Erowid.org. Mar 10, 2020. erowid.org/exp/91593

 
DOSE:
3 hits smoked Cannabis
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
I was always the quiet girl. Shy. Timid. Pure. Until I met my boyfriend. He knew ALL about drugs. Dealt them. Did them. Always had it on him.

I had no knowledge of marijuana. Didn't know what it was about. How it's supposed to affect you. Nothing. I always saw him smoke and decided 'what the heck?' if it's not harming him, I might as well try it. He didn't have a pipe so we used an apple. He made the little holes with a pencil and then packed it. We were in the bathroom about to take a shower. He told me the shower would feel ten times better...'trust me'.

I took my first hit. Ok, nothing. 'Maybe it wasn't hard enough, I need to impress him'. Took my second FAT hit. Still nothing. Third times a charm. Bam! It hit me. I felt my head bounce back, my vision got distorted, everything was 'wavy'. I looked at my boyfriend, 'I don't feel good, I need to get out'. I started to walk out of the bathroom, suddenly I became my soul flying up above my body looking down upon me. I continued to walk not knowing what the hell is going on. I jumped, my soul bounced back inside of my body. I walk to the recreational room, he stopped me and asked, 'tell me the truth, have you ever done any other drugs?' (Thinking it could have made my experience worse.) I slowly shook my head, 'No'. I looked at him as if he didn't exist.

My face felt like it was melting. My jaw felt heavy. My heart was beating so fast and so hard, it felt like it was on fire
My face felt like it was melting. My jaw felt heavy. My heart was beating so fast and so hard, it felt like it was on fire
about to burst out of my chest. Everything was so faint and hazy. I don't even remember clearly that I picked up the phone and dialed 911. My boyfriend quickly hung up the phone but then 911 had called back, asking if everything was ok. My boyfriend replies, 'yeah my girlfriend is just a little sick'. Afraid of getting caught? I see. He told me to lay down on the couch and watch some cartoons to get my mind off of it. I said ok.

I lay down and my body is shaking terribly. Like I was having a seizure. He turns on the cartoons, I stare at it and then become fascinated with the colors. This calmed me down. I then shake myself back into reality. My mind kept going in and out of a dream. Back and forth every 5 seconds. This gave me a huge headache. He gave me something to eat but my mouth was so dry I couldn't swallow or chew. I close my eyes while laying down on the couch. It was pitch black, like I fell into a deep dark hole. I saw God, Satan and me in between. They were pulling at my arms, fighting over me. I prayed like I never prayed before. I asked to 'just take me now, I would do anything to get out of this feeling'. I felt like I prayed for hours. Finally, I fell asleep (don't know how I managed that). I woke up, feeling like a zombie. I asked my boyfriend, how long was I tripping out for. 2 hours. Really? Felt like 10 minutes.

Experienced panic attacks and anxiety every day since the incident.

2 years later, I tried it again. After months and days of research, I asked myself, 'Seriously, what is everyone raving about...this miracle herb?' I had to give it another shot. Well, I started experiencing the same feeling as I did the first time just not as intense. I felt stoned, I felt good, like I could do anything. THIS was what I was expecting all along from this plant. Hey, it's actually helping my anxiety!

Advice: Take one hit (preferrably a small one), wait a few minutes and see how it affects YOU. Getting too high my first time RUINED my experience.
Getting too high my first time RUINED my experience.
Whatever you do, you don't want to ruin your experience.

It truly is a wonder, it makes me a better person overall. Makes me think unexpected thoughts. Philosophically. Makes me notice things that I never noticed before.

Point: Don't try to control it, and make yourself feel sober again. Go with the flow and smoke in a comfortable environment.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 91593
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Mar 10, 2020Views: 784
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Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), Retrospective / Summary (11), First Times (2)

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